People Who Get In The Way Of Their Own Success Often Have These 11 Self-Destructive Habits
BearFotos | Shutterstock Everyone's definition of what it means to be successful is different, and everyone has different habits that get in the way of this. For some, success is all about their academics or career while others feel like they've accomplished their goals when they look at their family.
No matter how someone sees success, people's daily habits have a major impact on effectively they reach this goal. Unsuccessful people who can't seem to get unstuck in life often don't realize how their routines are keeping them down.
People who get in the way of their own success often have these 11 self-destructive habits
1. Procrastinating
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People who get in the way of their own success often self-sabotage by procrastinating. According to the Association for Psychological Science, procrastination isn't about having poor time management skills, but rather, "a complicated failure of self-regulation."
The APS defined procrastination as "the voluntary delay of some important task that we intend to do, despite knowing that we'll suffer as a result." Various studies have noted the emotional fall-out that accompanies the act of procrastinating, including feelings of shame, guilt, or anxiety.
While some people are situational procrastinators, meaning they put off specific tasks they don't want to do, others are chronic procrastinators, which means they delay in all areas of their lives, from work and school to their household responsibilities and personal relationships.
By delaying work that needs to be done and failing to prioritize tasks in an effective manner, procrastinators often miss opportunities and push back deadlines. They don't work up to their full potential, which keeps them feeling unsuccessful and stagnant.
2. Blaming others for their problems
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People who tend to be unsuccessful and stuck in life blame other people for their problems. While it might seem counterintuitive, people who are successful admit when they're wrong. By owning up to their mistakes, they put themselves in a growth mindset, which means they can learn from what they've done wrong and change their behavior for the future.
In contrast, unsuccessful people shift blame so that their mistakes are always someone else's fault. Their unwillingness to take responsibility for their own actions keeps them operating from a place of a fixed mindset, meaning that they struggle to see themselves as someone who's capable of change. Because they don't take accountability for the decisions they've made, they can't seem to get unstuck in life.
3. Focusing on what could go wrong
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Peoplew who seem to get in the way of their own success often find themselves stuck in a more pessimistic perspective on the world than successful people. They focus on what might go wrong, rather than searching for solutions to potential problems.
Because of their negative outlook, they often don't recognize when new opportunities present themselves. Even if they do notice an opportunity, they rarely take action, as they're too concerned with the ways they might fail.
Certified coach Gretchen Hydo notes that the most successful people in life cultivate their resilience. "People who are resilient have the ability to acknowledge trouble and do whatever necessary to overcome roadblocks," she explained. "But in addition to falling down and getting back up, resilient people take those setbacks and adapt to them, using them as a way to move past any obstacles in their way."
By spending all their mental energy focusing on what might go wrong, unsuccessful people overlook their own resilience, and instead, stay stuck in place.
4. Rejecting constructive criticism
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Dismissing feedback that's meant to help them is another self-destructive habit of the people who get in the way of their own success. They can't handle even gentle critique, which means they don't know how to accept well-meaning advice.
As a result, these people don't learn from their mistakes, so they stay stuck in the same looping patterns of behavior that hold them back in the first place. Sadly, this often makes them feel like they're doomed, igniting a vicious cycle that is hard to break.
Knowing how to graciously listen to other people's guidance is a hallmark of someone who's successful in life. Instead of holding on tight to behavior that no longer serves them, they're highly adaptable and willing to change.
5. Comparing themselves to others
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The people who get in the way of success are masters of the comparison game, a truly self-destructive habit. They measure themselves against other people, which leaves them feeling envious and inadequate, while successful people know that comparing themselves to others just leaves them feeling empty and unfulfilled, unsuccessful people can't seem to break that self-destructive thought pattern.
Instead of viewing their progress in life on its own merits, they can't help but compare what they have to what everyone else has. Yes, this is natural, scientists have even found where social comparison happens in the brain. Unfortunately, when it gets out of control, habit of comparing themselves to others often drags their motivation down, which quickly becomes a self-destructive habit.
6. Overcommitting
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Overcommitting themselves is often a daily self-destructive habit of the people who get in the way of their success. In order to please everyone or achieve to what they think is the highest level, they take on too much. Then, istead of focusing on getting one task done well, they split their mental energy among many different tasks, and end up doing subpar work or not fulfilling their commitments.
Their habit of overcommitting often leaves them feeling stressed out and overextended. They often experience high levels of burnout, which can be incredibly difficult to come back from. This appears to be particularly true for people who've struggled with stressful or even traumatic experiences in the past.
People who find success in life do so because they hone their skills in one specific area, rather than wear themselves thin trying to be everything to everyone.
7. Neglecting their self-care
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Unsuccessful people who can't seem to get unstuck in life often rely on routines that don't actually provide them with the kind of care they really need. They often stay up late and don't focus on getting a restorative night's sleep. They neglect to care for their physical and mental health. They avoid practicing true self-care, which psychologist Nick Wignall notes "Means establishing and maintaining habits and routines that support your emotional health and well-being."
"Success depends on a healthy mind," he explains. "And a healthy mind depends on healthy habits... Successful people understand that doing your best work depends on being emotionally strong and mentally sharp." Wignall concludes, "If you want your mind to work for you, you need to work for your mind."
Knowing when to take a break and rest your mind is as important to being successful as working hard is. By paying attention to what they need, successful people are able to stay the course and hit their goals over the long-term, as opposed to unsuccessful people who can't seem to get unstuck in life.
8. Being easily distracted
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Many of the people who get in their own success have struggle to stay focused on the task at hand, as their attention wanders to other things. They might sit down at their desk to work, only to get up and check the mail, fold laundry, or take their beloved pup for a walk. It's not that those tasks aren't important, it's just that they're not urgent.
Being easily distracted can keep unsuccessful people stuck in life because it leads to lowered productivity and poor output. Author David Ahearn reveals the one thing that separates high achievers from everyone else: their sense of purpose and drive.
"Behind every remarkable success lies a deep-rooted sense of purpose, an unwavering belief in a higher calling," he explains. In order to find your purpose, Ahearn suggests asking yourself introspective questions: What brings you joy? What would you pursue wholeheartedly, even in the face of obstacles?
He notes that having purpose might not make the road to success any easier, but it acts as a guidepost when times get tough. "The pursuit of success may involve trials and tribulations, but a purpose-driven individual views these as mere temporary setbacks on the path to greatness," he explains.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
9. They don't sleep enough
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One of the most commonly overlooked self-destructive habit that gets in the way of people's success is a refusal to get adequate sleep on a regular basis. Often, they think they're moving themselves forward by working late into the night only to end up exhausted and dull the next day.
According to the National Institute of Health, "Studies show that a good night's sleep improves learning and problem-solving skills. Sleep also helps you pay attention, make decisions, and be creative."
Or maybe they think they need to watch hours of TV in bed as a form of self-care, but find themselves stressed and depressed the next day as a result. Unfortunately, that's not much better. In another report from the NIH, the authors write, "Research shows that a chronic lack of sleep, or getting poor quality sleep, increases the risk of health problems like high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, depression, and obesity."
Yes, staying up too late without compensating by sleeping longer in the morning can be self-destructive when it becomes a habit. Sadly, too many people sabotage their own success this way without even realizing.
10. They hang out with low-motivation people
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Another habit that gets in the way of people's success is keeping close company with people who have low motivation or vastly different values.
While it's wonderful to keep a variety of friends around or stay in contact with family who are different from you, there are risks to need to be aware of. Hanging out with people with different values or lower motivation levels can have a self-destructive influence and get in the way of their success.
While the old adage "show me your closest friends and I'll show you your future" isn't literally true, the message is clear. If you are driven to be successful, it's good to hang out with people who are also driven. If you cannot find close friends who as driven to be successful as you are, find people who want to help you dream that dream.
11. They tolerate sloppiness
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Successful people don't have to be perfectionists or exacting judges of themselves (or others), but allowing yourself to be sloppy can get in the way of success. Maybe it's how you dress, keep your house or car messy or fail to keep your finances sorted, but sloppiness and clutter can cause stress and wasted time, which are self-destructive forces.
How can you know if your sloppiness is getting in the way of your own success? If the mess or chaos make you tense up when you see them, it's likely they're an energetic drain. In addition, sloppiness or chaos can harm your progress at work. After all, employers or perspective partners are rarely impressed by the person who drives up in a car full of trash or old mail sitting in stacks.
If you want to get out of your own way, start by choosing one item on this list and make one small change. For example, vow to keep the front seat of your car tidy for one week or make plans to hang out with a friend who is as driven as you are. Make a tidy to-do list with completion times in order to stop procrastinating.
There's no wrong place to start, just get moving. The forward momentum can help you clear the self-destructive habits that have been getting in the way of your success.
