Most Men Learn These 12 Lessons Way Too Late In Life
Pnature | Shutterstock When it comes to personal growth, advice is usually handed out as one-size-fits-all. While that sounds fair in theory, it often misses the mark. Men and women face different pressures, expectations, and blind spots, and pretending otherwise does not help anyone grow.
For many men, there are certain life lessons that only click after years of trial and error. These are the lessons most men learn too late in life, often after missed opportunities, strained relationships, or burnout have already taken their toll. The good news is that learning them late is still learning, and understanding them now can change what comes next.
Most men learn these 12 lessons way too late in life:
1. Don't let good opportunities slip because "it's not worth your time"
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The first life lesson men learn too late is not to let opportunities pass them by. Men might feel tempted not to take a job or an experience because they consider it a waste of time, or think the pay is too low. But this lesson requires you to understand something.
Allowing yourself to open one door can indirectly lead to the opening of many doors. The connections that you make, the mistakes that you learn from — all of that is useful knowledge that should never be discarded. Because anything worth having will require some hard work.
2. Appreciate the present and let go of the past
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Sometimes, we need to let go of the past so we can focus on the present. Multiple studies have found that "the tendency to ruminate is associated prospectively with increases in depressive symptoms," meaning that constantly thinking about what causes you distress can have negative consequences.
And it shouldn't be all that surprising. Staying stuck in the past is just a disaster waiting to happen because there's no way to move forward from it or learn from it. Unfortunately, many men learn too late that letting go of the past is the only way to push forward.
3. Don't sweat the small stuff
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When things don't go your way, it's all too easy to get worked up. After all, you spend so much time and energy just for something to fall through, and how frustrating is that? It can make anyone feel like their efforts aren't worth it.
But everything that happens in life is to make you a stronger person. You can either choose to take those experiences and turn them into lessons, or break down because of them. Don't let things not going according to plan throw you off-course. Instead, take the good with the bad and come out the other side better for it.
4. Failure often leads to success
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Your greatest failures can turn into your greatest successes. When we think of the biggest celebrities or athletes out there, one thing they have in common is the multiple failures they faced on the way. They were rejected, or they suffered injuries that prevented them from accomplishing their goals.
However, the greatest failures in life can turn into great lessons. Failures teach you what to do better, or open up doors you never considered before. But that can only happen if you decide to embrace failure, look at the experiences differently, and take those experiences in stride. After all, only we have the potential to limit ourselves.
5. There's nothing greater than being rich in health
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While many people think that money makes you rich, it's actually your health that does. Unfortunately, one study revealed that around 88% of Americans are metabolically unhealthy. And the biggest culprit is the food we eat.
People as a whole are taught that convenience is the greatest thing out there and that there's nothing wrong with doing so. But when it comes to your health, there are no shortcuts. And for men, some learn too late that physical health is really what matters most.
Taking basic care of yourself is essential as you move through life; in fact, research shows that mild daily physical activity significantly decreases the risk of death. Be smart and put your health first.
6. Emotional intelligence is extremely valuable
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Men should never underestimate the importance of emotional intelligence, but often do. They realize too late that being vulnerable is simply human nature, and having a high EQ will get you farther in all areas of life.
Research says that our innate desire to be heard and seen is what makes us human, which is why it's only natural to connect with others and express ourselves. To deny yourself that experience is to deny your biological makeup.
7. Always be grateful for the little things
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A little bit of gratitude can go a long way, especially when you're feeling low. Unfortunately, men don't always realize this until too much time has passed. They don't harness the benefits of expressing gratitude, which improves mental health and changes perspective.
The next time you're feeling down, take a few minutes to connect with yourself. Write down 10 things you're grateful for, and anytime you need to pick me up, take out the piece of paper and remind yourself exactly what keeps you going.
8. Relationships are hard work
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Nobody said that relationships were easy or warned you that they take hard work to keep afloat. Hard work is more than just expressing vulnerability or being kind enough to take out the trash; it's sitting down and having those difficult conversations, staying up late when your partner is sick to comfort them, or lending an ear when times are stressful.
Understandably, this might seem a bit silly. Do these actions make a difference? According to one study, the more content a wife is in marriage, the happier the husband tends to be. Another study also determined that a happy marriage decreases symptoms of depression over time.
While men often learn a bit too late that relationships require hard work, it's never too late to try again. So, always take your relationship more seriously.
9. Your worth is your utility (love yourself)
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You can't love anyone else until you feel the same way towards yourself. But the unfortunate truth is that men are rarely taught to love themselves, which is damaging, to say the least.
According to one study, those with low self-esteem end up underestimating their partner's love.
Over time, they see their partner more negatively, leading to a decrease in relationship satisfaction and optimism.
While it may be a lesson learned later in life, it's never too late for people, men especially, to love themselves for who they truly are. It's just one step in becoming a better, more well-rounded person.
10. Healthy relationships create greater happiness
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Men are often told to do it all alone and that they don't need others to feel happy. But this couldn't be further from the truth. According to research, our relationships and how happy we are in them directly influence our health. Having tight-knit relationships has a bigger impact than even the amount of money you make, and those close relationships protect us, mentally and physically.
While it's easy to think that solitude and isolation are a better way to move through life, men should understand that true happiness comes from forming deep connections with fellow human beings.
11. Put in effort
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Actions indeed speak louder than words, because if you want to make anything in life work, you need to put in the effort. Your actions should align with what you're saying. If you tell your spouse you're going to get something done, do it. If you promise your boss a report by tomorrow morning, get it done.
People need to know that they can trust you, as trust is the foundation of any relationship. That's especially true in marriage, as effort is strongly associated with greater satisfaction in marriage. For men who learned this too late, the lesson to remember is that actions truly do matter in the context of all things, especially relationships.
12. There's nothing wrong admitting to your mistakes
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It's okay to be wrong sometimes, and it's also okay to admit that. Being able to admit to your mistakes is the responsible thing to do. And research shows that people who admitted to making a mistake on Facebook were more likely to be viewed as competent and admirable.
There's something honest and real about admitting to your mistakes. It shows your integrity and humility, both of which are admirable. So, even if you've learned this life lesson at an older age, it's never too late to implement.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
