If A Man Repeats These 11 Phrases Often, He Feels Like He's Failing At Life
ShotPrime Studio | Shutterstock Considering many men find a sense of stability falling in line with societal expectations of masculinity and gender norms of "protectors" and "providers" in their relationships, it's not surprising that so many feel like they're not living up to their potential. It's impossible for men to cultivate truly healthy, supportive relationships alongside a demonization of vulnerability, or to protect their families when they don't feel like they have a safe space to be themselves.
So, even if feeling like a "failure" feels impossible to ignore, it's usually sparked by unrealistic expectations in the first place. So, if you have a man in your life who's constantly striving for these things, notice the "red flags" that remind you that they need support. If a man repeats these specific phrases often, he feels like he's failing at life and needs a reminder of support that he's doing just fine.
If a man repeats these 11 phrases often, he feels like he's failing at life
1. 'I'm just tired'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
While emotional burnout is often characterized as exhaustion, it's much more nuanced than that, at least according to a study from World Psychiatry. Not only are people often fatigued and exhausted physically, but they are at a higher risk for developing mental health concerns like isolation, anxiety, and depression.
So, if a man repeats phrases like "I'm just tired," there's a chance he's facing burnout in the face of unrealistic expectations and constant obligations he can't seem to keep up with.
2. 'I feel so behind'
Vulnerability is often an avoided practice for men who fall in line with draining traditional masculine expectations. They feel "behind" and struggle to find a sense of comfort because they're always seeking after something and providing for more than themselves. If they're not addressing these complex emotions as they come up and connecting with their families on a deep level, of course they're going to feel constantly overwhelmed and stressed.
Social support is what allows people to become resilient in the face of stress and adversity, but if a man is missing out on these conversations and interactions in the face of gendered stigmas, he's dealing with more than he's capable of handling on his own.
3. 'I'll figure it out eventually'
For many men, the pressure to provide is making them completely miserable. On top of feeling pressured to overlook their own needs for the sake of a partner or their families, they burn themselves out trying to figure it out without support or help from anyone else.
From financial struggles to navigating safety concerns, it's often the most stressful and burdening responsibilities that lie on men in a household, especially when they conform to traditional, misguided gender norms.
4. 'I can do it myself'
Many men feel pressure to avoid asking for help because they view not knowing things or not being "independent enough" to be a weakness. However, they often forget that asking people for help serves an important purpose, helping people to feel needed and offering space for personal development and learning opportunities.
So, even if a man is constantly saying things like "I can do it myself" despite clearly struggling, chances are he's struggling with more than a misguided sense of independence.
5. 'I don't want to talk about it'
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Men who conform to unrealistic gendered expectations, specifically around masculinity, often feel pressure to avoid their own needs and suppress their own emotions. If they don't have the time or space to address their emotions, they push them away with distractions and shame, even if it puts them at risk for a number of intense consequences.
They push everything down because they feel like they're failing at life, even if support and openness are what they really need to heal.
6. 'I'll deal with it later'
Not unlike their emotions, struggling men may rely on avoidance to cope with stress about obligations and responsibilities. From pushing off financial issues to avoiding their partners when things are strained, they amplify their life stress by avoiding it entirely.
Even if it offers them a bit of fleeting control and comfort, in the end, they only end up more overwhelmed and miserable because of these behaviors.
7. 'I'm fine'
Men who are held to unrealistic expectations feel pressure to keep it all together. They put on a brave face around their families, minimize their emotions, and use phrases like "I'm fine" when they feel like they're failing at life to avoid being a burden to the people close to them.
Oftentimes, this stems from anxiety, sparked by emotional suppression and avoidance that offers them a fleeting sense of comfort in the moment. As a study from Aging & Mental Health explains, people with anxiety fear being a burden to their loved ones the most, so they avoid asking for help and speaking about their struggles to cope.
8. 'I don't want to disappoint you'
Fearing being a burden or disappointing their families is part of the reason why men keep their struggles to themselves. On top of gendered stigmas around masculinity, if a man repeats phrases like "I don't want to disappoint you," he probably feels like he's failing at life.
He feels a pressure to be the perfect provider, father, and partner, but can't seem to ask for help or deal with his own struggles without avoiding them entirely.
9. 'I need to get through this'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
While resilience is often cultivated through periods of adversity, men who consistently suppress emotions and work through exhaustion because they "need to" are more at risk for burnout than growth. Especially if they're not asking for help or leaning on family for support, bulldozing through their obligations can exhaust them and strain their relationships.
Even their general well-being and mental health are at risk when they justify burnout with phrases like "I need to get through this." If they're not taking care of themselves, they'll have less to give in caring for others.
10. 'My family needs me'
Many parents struggle with the pressure to be perfect for their kids and families, but it's especially men, who are often held to unrealistic expectations of masculinity and providership, that push their needs to the back burner.
They justify their avoidance of personal needs and seeking help with phrases like "my family needs me," even if these behaviors add to their internal turmoil and sabotage their ability to show up as their best self at home.
11. 'This isn't about me'
When people try to reach out and support men who are clearly struggling in their lives, they may often be met with phrases like "this isn't about me" in return. The gender norms and expectations they've held themselves to for a sense of empowerment have backfired, pressuring them to suppress their needs and avoid support at every turn.
They don't want people to worry about them, so they pretend that everything is fine on the surface, even if they're grappling with inescapable emotional turmoil on the inside.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
