Emotionally Strong People Almost Always Have 7 Traits That Seem Rare These Days
VH-studio | Shutterstock Emotionally strong people manage the stresses of daily life more effectively and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Since emotional strength refers to a person’s internal coping abilities, can we accurately judge a person’s internal fortitude based on what we see on the outside?
Popular culture often portrays emotionally strong people as quiet, stoic types who never complain and whose emotional expression during crises is limited to jaw-squaring, fist-clenching, and silent dramatic stares into the horizon. Any signs of emotional "leakage" (i.e., expressing emotional distress in any way) or tears (especially in men) are often viewed as evidence the person has difficulties coping and is emotionally weak.
Emotional strength has little to do with stoicism and even less to do with any momentary reaction. Rather, emotional strength is something that can only be assessed over time. By definition, it involves a person’s ability to deal with challenges and bounce back from them, not how they respond at any given moment.
Here are 7 rare traits emotionally strong people almost always have
1. Resilience
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Resilient people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments. They can adapt to and recover from difficult situations. It's a skill that can develop over time as we grow up and face life's challenges.
People who develop their resilience can recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection. Resilience indicates a complex interplay of emotional factors, including regulating negative emotions, maintaining a positive outlook, leveraging optimism, and effectively utilizing coping mechanisms.
A 2019 literature review concluded these factors allow individuals to bounce back from adversity and adapt to challenging situations, ultimately contributing to overall mental well-being.
2. Adaptability
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These people are more adaptable to change than others. Adaptability is strongly linked to emotional strength.
Individuals who can readily adjust to changing circumstances tend to experience higher well-being, lower stress, and greater resilience in the face of challenges, making adaptability a key component of emotional resilience.
A 2022 study published in Frontiers in Psychiatry found positive correlations between adaptability and factors like life satisfaction, self-esteem, and reduced depressive symptoms.
3. Self-awareness
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Emotionally strong people can recognize and express their needs, objectively evaluate their needs, manage their emotions, and understand how their actions can impact others through a deep understanding of their thoughts, feelings, strengths, and weaknesses.
They actively seek constructive criticism and use it to grow and better understand themselves.
4. Optimism
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They know how to focus on getting around a hurdle rather than focusing on the hurdle itself.
Optimism is a significant emotional strength that positively impacts well-being by enabling individuals to better cope with adversity, maintain positive emotions, and achieve greater life satisfaction.
A recent study on nurses under stress found a link between higher optimism and improved mental and physical health outcomes, including reduced depression and anxiety, better resilience, and enhanced immune function.
5. Teachablility
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People who are highly teachable can learn from mistakes and criticism. They are humble enough to acknowledge their limitations and willing to adapt and change based on new information.
They often demonstrate a willingness to learn from anyone, regardless of their status or experience level.
6. Expansiveness
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They tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation.
Expansive thinking primarily focuses on its link to creativity, suggesting that adopting a broader perspective, considering multiple viewpoints, and looking beyond the immediate situation can significantly enhance one's ability to generate novel ideas and solutions.
Evidence from a 2011 study shows that individuals exposed to vast landscapes or large-scale imagery tend to perform better on creativity tasks than those focused on smaller details.
7. More resilience
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If two entrepreneurs invested five years in a startup that fails, which of them is emotionally stronger, the one who feels heartbroken and bursts into tears when funding falls through, or the one who feels heartbroken but keeps their emotions in check?
The answer is neither, it was a trick question. (Sorry.) The person’s immediate reaction matters much less than what they do thereafter.
Someone might break into tears at the moment, feel terrible for a week, but then bounce back and start working on their next big idea. A seemingly stoic person might appear to cope better at the moment, yet feel so defeated that they give up their entrepreneurial dreams altogether.
In such a comparison, the "crier" clearly has more emotional fortitude than the "jaw-squarer," despite displaying greater emotional distress in their immediate response.
Many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such scenarios. If we react emotionally or tearfully to challenging situations, we chastise ourselves for being "weak," even though we intend to persist and move forward, or even when we believe we will eventually succeed.
Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how your tear ducts respond to stresses and bad news.
If you don’t register strongly based on this list, take heart because you can build emotional strength and resilience by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to the daily distresses of life.
Guy Winch is a distinguished psychologist and acclaimed author. His work has been featured in The New York Times and Psychology Today.
