11 Behaviors That Indicate A Person Will Be A Loner In Life
People who will likely always be loners aren't necessarily sad about it.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock As much as some people wish for a million friends, being social isn't easy or even desirable for everyone. True introverts would rather step on Legos than subject themselves to the hours of torture involved in trying to be a social butterfly and maintain a big group of friends.
Call them dramatic, but the behaviors that indicate a person will be a loner in life are often intentional ones meant to maximize their solitude. Because there's possibly no greater annoyance for them than being stuck in a room full of people, loners engage in behaviors that might leave extroverts scratching their heads in confusion.
These are 11 behaviors that indicate a person will be a loner in life
1. Preferring being alone to attending social gatherings
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The first behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they prefer being alone to social gatherings. Every time they go out, they're always staring at the clock or their phone, wondering when they'll be able to go home. Sure, they love their family and friends with all their heart, but let's face it: it can grow a bit stale.
After spending hours being pestered about their love life or their career, all loners want to do is go home and be left alone. Unfortunately, they're often pulled into conversations for hours on end, leading them to feel emotionally and spiritually exhausted.
This isn't great, as feeling burned out can lead to exhaustion, alienation, and poorer performance, according to the Institute for Quality and Efficiency in Health Care. So, while it's sometimes necessary to put on a smile and be social, don't feel pressured to do so for long. Once that hour or two passes, it's okay to retreat and take time for oneself.
2. Showing no interest in small talk
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Whether they're in a long grocery store line or in an elevator, most people engage in small talk, as the awkward silence of waiting tends to be stifling for many. However, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they have no interest in small talk.
Depending on where someone lives, it might be viewed as culturally normal to engage in small talk, so they may not want to come off as rude. However, despite how loners might feel about small talk, there's no denying that it can be beneficial from time to time.
As Professor of Psychology Andrew Beer, Ph.D., noted, small talk is often more enjoyable than people anticipate it to be. With this in mind, remember it's only a small portion of one's life, and once that elevator dings, all loners can go back to doing what they do best: keeping to themselves.
3. Becoming deeply invested in their hobbies or interests
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Sure, everyone has a hobby or interest that they like. Whether it's playing video games or watching anime, these hobbies bring a huge sense of joy to everyone, including loners. Yet, from family obligations to hanging out with friends, not everyone has time to engage in these hobbies frequently.
However, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they're deeply invested in their hobbies or interests. A loner isn't too fond of socializing, which is why, if given the choice, they'll probably be in the comfort of their own room, reading instead.
Blame it on their introverted personality, but in the end, loners win. According to Harvard Health, having hobbies leads to better health and mood. So, keep on doing what you love doing. As long as loners come out of their dungeon once every blue moon to socialize, there's nothing wrong with being deeply invested in hobbies.
4. Getting extremely uncomfortable in crowds
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There may be no worse feeling than needing to go to the store, only to be surrounded by a million strangers in a small room. Yet, most people don't mind doing so if it means getting what they need and going. After all, crowds aren't that big of a deal for the average person.
However, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they grow uncomfortable in crowds. Sure, nobody is a fan of bumping elbows with strangers, but growing so uncomfortable that they feel a huge urge to run away? That feeling is pretty much reserved for the loners.
Introverts hate crowded rooms as it's easy to get overwhelmed with all the noise. As licensed clinical psychologist Nando Pelusi, Ph.D., explained, "Noise is a stimulus, and when we have little control over the source, we often experience more stress and anxiety."
So, don't be shocked if your loner friend is pressed against the wall and visibly disturbed when they see a bunch of people. In true loner fashion, they'll do anything to keep to themselves.
5. Only hanging out with a small group of people
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While scrolling on social media, people might stumble across a post or two of someone surrounded by friends and family. Like something out of a Hallmark movie, their bright smiles and tight-knit circles might have most people feeling a bit bad about themselves, as making friends nowadays seems so difficult.
However, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner for life is them only hanging out with a small group of people. Sure, people might have a small group of friends because it's harder to make them, but loners have a small group of friends because they genuinely find it better for them.
As science writer Christopher Bergland found, "Choosing solitude can help people flourish by facilitating self-acceptance, personal growth, creative expression, and spiritual connectedness."
So, whether it's one friend or two friends, not only are loners thriving in life, but they're also the people who most likely have the best friendships.
6. Being hyper-independent
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Another behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they're hyper-independent. Now, yes, being independent is something most people have to do in their day-to-day lives. From driving to work to paying their own bills, people can't run away from this, even if they wanted to.
However, loners thrive on being independent, which is why they're so hyper-independent in the first place. From playing alone as children to getting their first job at 16, loners have always found a way to take care of themselves. This is important, as a study published in 2021 found that independence leads to better life satisfaction.
So, while it might be exhausting to have only oneself to lean on, in the end, it makes people feel as if they're in control, causing them to feel happier and more satisfied in the long run.
7. Walking away from drama
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Most people claim to hate drama, and in some cases, they really do. Sure, a little drama here or there isn't going to hurt anyone, but a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is walking away from drama. Their friends and family might not understand it, but there's no denying that drama is exhausting.
As fun as it may be to watch it on the big screen, fighting or yelling is bound to leave people feeling a bit weary and highly stressed. Research shows that stress weakens the body's immune system, so it's smart for loners to walk away once someone starts raising their voice or starting nonsense. While some might consider it rude, in the long run, it saves them the headache, which is always a plus.
8. Needing to recharge after social interactions
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After spending hours with loved ones, most will leave the interaction feeling thankful that they took the time to see them. Even if they wasted the entire day shopping or partying, since human beings are social creatures, it's no wonder that most people thrive when they spend time with those they care about.
However, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they need to recharge after social interactions. Sure, every once in a while, someone might need to take a breather after spending time with their in-laws, but a loner, without fail, runs to their room and doesn't come out until they absolutely need to.
According to a study published in 2022, over-socializing can lead to burnout. So, if someone is a loner, expect them to recharge for a bit after spending an exhausting day socializing.
9. Rarely sharing personal updates
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Everyone knows that person who seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth once they graduated from high school. It's like they never even existed. These individuals rarely post unless they're tagged in a picture. And while this might seem abnormal, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they rarely share personal updates.
They aren't trying to be dark and mysterious, but most loner people truly hate just how consuming social media can be. From doomscrolling to endless drama with strangers, loner people are sick and tired of it. This is why they refuse to share personal updates. In the end, they're protecting their peace.
10. They prefer pets over humans
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Sure, many people love animals, but most people, despite loving animals, still hang out with their friends, boyfriend, and family members more than their furry friends. However, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they prefer pets over animals.
Forget cuddling with their boyfriend. When it comes to their dog, they're making room for them, even if it's a bit rude. There's something more appealing about having a furball that doesn't yap for hours on end, and, if they're a cat, respects boundaries.
In all honesty, it's more preferable, as they can get the love they need without needing to feel overwhelmed in the process.
11. They prefer to text rather than call
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Finally, a behavior that indicates a person will be a loner in life is if they prefer to text rather than call. Sorry, grandma, but in a loner's eyes, texting is a much preferable option. Even if their loved ones would rather hear their voice, when a loner is busy and wants to be left alone, there's no other option but to text.
Not just for their sake, but for their loved ones' sake as well. As many people would agree, it's much better to have a pleasant conversation through text message than hearing awkward pauses and annoyed sighs as they wait for the other person to end the call.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
