Women With Incredible Dads Usually Grew Up Learning 6 Old-Fashioned Lessons About How They Should Be Treated
Hananeko_Studio | Shutterstock The relationship that daughters have with their fathers truly shapes their future well-being in all kinds of family dynamics.
From the types of partners they're drawn to later in life and their own personal sense of self-esteem, their father plays a huge role in shaping the kinds of women they become. While every parent-child dynamic works in unique ways, women with incredible dads usually grew up learning specific old-fashioned lessons about how they should be treated, and they're better off because of it.
Women with incredible dads usually grew up learning 6 old-fashioned lessons about how they should be treated
1. Always believe in yourself
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Women often develop their self-worth directly from their father's involvement early in life, which is why this relationship is so essential to their well-being throughout life. From the kind of romantic relationships they seek out and tolerate to the internal self-talk they live with on a daily basis, their fathers shape the people they become.
They're taught that not everyone will believe in them, but loving and investing in themselves is how they actually attract the people who will. They're taught not to rely on anyone but themselves for stability and success, and it's this kind of self-reliance that shapes their adult well-being.
2. You don't need an example
The most successful adult women grew their leadership skills and sense of self from looking inward. They were taught that you don't need an example to look up to, despite what society tells so many young women. The best fathers double down on this lesson, teaching their daughters how to push back against social norms, instead of adopting them as fact.
These adult women can be their own people, setting their own goals and building relationships based on what feels right for them, instead of looking to misleading social standards and unhealthy upward comparisons to figure out what's best for them.
3. Issues and emotions need to be dealt with
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Instead of gaslighting their daughters into being "less emotional" or getting angry at their first glance at vulnerability, incredible and emotionally available fathers teach their daughters how to be emotionally intelligent by modeling the behavior. From offering empathy for others to regulating their own feelings when something goes wrong, they become a pillar of what an emotionally regulated, secure man looks like.
Considering women with these strong relationships to their fathers tend to seek partners who mirror their behaviors and traits, as a study from Durham University explains, they must teach the right lessons. Otherwise, women end up with emotionally immature, destabilizing partners that sabotage their well-being.
4. Compromise isn't a requirement
Healthy compromise is great for both individuals and relationship well-being, but not everything that most women choose to compromise over is actually good for their individuality. From personal lifestyles to values, sometimes being expected to compromise on foundational pieces of how you are is actually a sign that you're not meant to be with someone.
Women with great dads never compromise on these things. They know that they're going to be fine on their own because their worth was never defined by a partner or a man. On top of that, they watched their fathers be intentional about compromise in their relationships, while also teaching them to advocate for their own needs, even in the face of entitled men.
5. Safety and security are better than excitement
Many women grow up hearing romanticized stories about love and desire, usually from parents who have never had a truly healthy relationship themselves. However, women with incredible dads are taught to appreciate real gestures and action, rather than someone's promises or potential.
They're treated right by their chosen partners because their love is rooted in safety and security, much like what they felt at home with their own fathers. They don't have to question someone's intentions or feel overly anxious expressing their true emotions, because it's not lust and chemistry they followed, but safety.
6. Relationships aren't always 50/50
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Many great fathers teach their daughters how to form healthy relationships by example, usually in their own relationships and marriages. Instead of keeping score of what they do for each other and trying to find a perfectly "50/50" balance in labor and affection, they simply do their best.
They pick up the slack when one person is struggling. They put their all into the relationship at every moment, even when it's challenging and uncomfortable. They teach their daughters that transactional relationships only create resentment, and that in order to feel comfortable investing effort in someone, you should be one thousand percent confident they'd do the same for you.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
