11 Things That Make People Seriously Uncomfortable In Someone Else's Home
Victoria Labadie | Shutterstock Our living spaces can often reveal our personal style, tastes, and daily routines, but they also remind people of our personalities. They're a part of our identity, whether we realize it or not, and the vibes other people get in our home also tell them a lot about us as not only hosts, but people too.
Most of the time, this information and the things people notice are positive, but sometimes, there are things that make people seriously uncomfortable in someone else's home that alter their perception of us forever. From certain smells to how the family dog is treated, the last thing a person wants is to feel awkward while they're a guest.
Here are 11 things that make people seriously uncomfortable in someone else's home
1. Loud arguments and fights
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Many people talk about the harm in fighting or arguing around children, but the discomfort house guests feel when hosts are actively arguing with each other is less investigated. If you've been in this situation, you know it best.
It starts out as a soft tension that affects the social energy. However, as soon as people start being louder or raising their voices, everything crumbles. People are urged to ignore it. Some might even feel a pressure to step in. Whatever follows, it's no surprise that there's an impenetrable kind of discomfort that throws everyone off.
2. Disciplining a child or pet
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Whether it's with a misbehaving pet or children, the second someone raises their voice or disciplines out in the open around guests, everyone in the room is uncomfortable. Yes, it's important to discipline kids when they do something wrong, but save it until your guests leave, or at least do it in a different room where people can pretend it's not happening.
Especially if a parent is trying to actively weaponize shame toward their child in front of people, that's not actually discipline, according to psychologist Peggy Drexler — it's punishment.
3. Not being offered a storage spot
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When someone walks into your home with a coat, a bag, and shoes, it's only good etiquette to offer them a place to offload. If you don't, there's an immediate sense of discomfort. They're lingering in the doorway, unsure of whether they should leave their shoes on and strangely juggling all their stuff. It takes two seconds to ask, but it's powerful.
Of course, if you're close friends, there probably isn't any reason to ask. They've already adopted the couch or made their way to the storage closet without direction. But if they're paused in the entryway, waiting for instruction, it's not rude to offer it.
4. Not knowing where to sit
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The last thing someone wants to do when visiting another person's home is to mess up a perfectly arranged couch or to sit on something that was meant to be admired from afar. However, it's usually on a host to offer permission to people to get comfortable, even if that means clearing a spot or directly reminding them they can use a piece of furniture.
Even if that means creating extra seating in unique ways on the dot, making sure your guests know where they can sit and relax removes all the pent-up anxiety they may feel about not overstepping any boundaries.
5. An unsettling smell
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A Today's Homeowner study reveals that for 30% of house guests, the very first thing they notice is the smell. Most of the time, it's not a bad thing. They appreciate the candle a host has lit or the fresh smell of a cleaned carpet. However, sometimes, if there's clutter everywhere or a "dog smell" the owners have become accustomed to, it can actually be uncomfortable and disgusting.
Even if they eventually get used to the smell over time and find some kind of cognitive benefit from smelling something out of the ordinary, most of the time, guests don't want to have to feel uncomfortable pretending everything is fine.
6. Having to search for basic necessities
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When hosting, the first thing you should do is consider what guests might need. For most people, that means having refreshments and offering a space to sit, but it also means going into places like the bathroom and making sure a guest doesn't have to ask for things like toilet paper or a hand towel.
Most of us know that the most uncomfortable and embarrassing experience is going into a stranger's bathroom and having to ask for toilet paper, or realizing there's no hand towel and having to air dry in silence.
7. Extreme temperatures
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For most people, the average temperature in someone's home lingers between 68 and 76 degrees Fahrenheit. When they go to someone else's home, chances are they're expecting it to be somewhere in that range. So, for hosts, this is an important part of preparing that some might overlook, especially if they usually keep their home a lot warmer or colder than that.
The last thing your guests want to think about is grabbing a blanket to stop their teeth from chattering or worrying about sweating all their makeup off from simply sitting on your couch. It's not only uncomfortable, but it also distracts from the conversations and interactions they likely came there for.
8. Not being offered a drink or food
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Especially when attending a party or a get-together where food and beverages are expected, feeling like you have to ask as a guest can be uncomfortable. In fact, in most cases, people won't ask at all, and food will be wasted while guests go hungry.
It might feel like a basic, obvious part of hosting etiquette, but you should always offer things to people with a phrase like "help yourself to anything" or "there's plenty of food for everyone" to make everyone feel a bit more comfortable.
9. Being in a perfectly curated home
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While most of us have adopted the cleaning habits of our parents when preparing for a party, trying to clean as if nobody has ever lived or stepped foot in the house, most guests don't want to be in a perfectly curated home. Not only does it spark discomfort from feeling sterile, but everyone is subconsciously on edge, worried about spilling something or messing up decor by getting comfortable.
Of course, make your home presentable depending on who's coming over, but don't stress yourself out so much about cleaning, because it might actually be making your guests uncomfortable.
10. Being called out for sitting in someone's seat
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While niche, most people have been in a situation where they've felt embarrassed for taking someone's "regular" seat at the dinner table. Especially as a single guest in a family home, you're probably going to disrupt their natural flow or their typical seating arrangements.
However, if someone actively calls you out, saying something like "that's my seat," of course it's going to be uncomfortable for everyone involved.
11. A misbehaving pet
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While it might seem ironic that both discipline and a misbehaving pet in someone's home make guests uncomfortable, there are all kinds of solutions to dealing with both. Especially if a dog is getting up in someone's business or a cat is perusing the food that guests are supposed to eat, of course people feel on edge.
Owners love their pets and appreciate them as a part of their family, but if you're hosting with people who don't want to be jumped on or barked at, maybe consider putting the pets in another room, or at least giving people a warning before they RSVP "yes" to an invitation.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
