Women Who Only Have One Really Good Friend Instead Of A Whole Friend Group Usually Have These 11 Rare Traits
Xavier Lorenzo | Shutterstock Women tend to have higher expectations of support and intimacy in their adult friendships than their male counterparts, according to psychologist Marisa G. Franco. They need that foundation of emotional vulnerability, trust, and connection to feel close to people, so, of course, if they’re nursing a huge social network of people whom they don’t know well, they’re not going to feel all that fulfilled.
While the reasons for the latter are often nuanced — tied up in social status and personal emotional intelligence — women who only have one really good friend instead of a whole friend group usually have these rare traits. They’re able to seek out the support and intimacy they need, without feeling pressure to keep up with draining small talk or superficial conversations with acquaintances.
Women who only have one really good friend instead of a whole friend group usually have these 11 rare traits
1. They’re introverted
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Introverted people tend to have smaller social circles by nature because they prefer to cultivate deep, meaningful relationships. They’re quickly drained by social situations and interactions with little depth and often need alone time to refresh. However, when they’re around someone who truly understands them and their needs, they’re energized by those interactions.
Of course, they’re not going to try to manage a huge social circle that only ends up draining them in the long run. They’re going to invest the social energy they do have into relationships that serve as an energizing, intentional, and solid support system.
2. They’re intentional with their energy
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Even if things like romantic relationships and family dynamics tend to be more appreciated by societal norms and celebrated by traditions like holidays and anniversaries, friendships are the connections that truly keep us healthy. They deserve the same kind of effort and intentionality to truly thrive that other relationships in a person’s life do.
Women who only have one really good friend, instead of a whole friend group of surface-level connections, have the rare trait of being intentional with their energy. They cultivate “anniversaries” with their good friends, work through issues instead of running away, and approach these connections with a kind of intentionality that prompts vulnerability and a deep level of trust.
As best friends Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman explain in their book “Big Friendship,” at the end of the day, when things get tough, and you’re struggling in life, your friends will be the people who will truly be there for you — no matter what. Treat them as such.
3. They’re secure in their authenticity
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According to a study from Boston University, people who have secure attachment styles — from their parents or cultivated by childhood experiences — are often more likely to have better friendships and relationship quality. They’re secure in themselves, to the point where practicing emotional intelligence isn’t something to run from but to embrace.
They don’t cultivate superficial relationships where they feel the need to be performative or seek other people’s attention, because their relationships are formed based on who they already are as a person. They don’t tolerate being dimmed by others and only make space for people who appreciate who they are.
4. They’re loyal
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People who are truly loyal to the people they love aren’t sacrificing quality time for “something better” or trying to seem cool by appealing to high-status people and exciting plans. They’re more invested in feeding healthily into the relationships they already have. If that means only having one really good friend, instead of a huge social network of people who don’t really care about them, so be it.
While the idea of “loyalty” and manifestations of loyalty are often more nuanced than they seem, for women with a single really good friend, it usually just means showing up. No matter what kind of conflict or situation they’re going through, they know that they’re on the same team.
5. They’re sensitive and emotional
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There’s a reason why emotional intelligence, life satisfaction, and general well-being are all interconnected, as a 2024 study explains. The more emotionally open, vulnerable, and stable a person is, the better their relationships often are — even if their social circles are small.
They have strong boundaries, but they’re also intentional and intuitive with the people they care about. They’re not afraid to let their guards down, support people emotionally, and express themselves without a mask.
The foundation of their relationships is based on this kind of deep vulnerability and emotional connection, rather than simply proximity in their workplaces or living spaces.
6. They’re trusting when it’s earned
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People who have really solid, great friendships may not be immediately trusting of other people, but once they’ve cultivated that necessary foundation of trust and reliability, it takes a lot to break it. When someone earns their trust through small acts of reassurance, honesty, and affirmation, they don’t break it all down by a simple misunderstanding or moment of discomfort.
When something goes wrong or their friend feels distant, they don’t write off the friendship in its entirety. They’re intentional about working through problems and giving these friends the benefit of the doubt.
7. They’re problem-solvers at heart
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Great friends don’t label someone “toxic” or run away from friendships when they get hard or uncomfortable. They know how to have hard conversations and resolve problems, even when there’s a lot of tension and high emotions running around.
Women who only have one really good friend instead of a whole friend group usually have these rare traits. They’re not interested in drama for the sake of it or changing the narrative to protect their self-image — they care more about working through problems as a shared unit.
8. They’re not performative
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There’s a reason having one really good friend is often better than having a slew of bad friends or a huge social circle of people you don’t actually know well. Having a single good friend fosters greater authenticity rather than performativity.
While someone who tries to seem “cool” or important may have a million superficial relationships with people everywhere, someone with one trusting, secure, and brilliant friend feels more seen and important in the end. They’re secure and supported in truly being themselves, which will always be healthier for everyone than trying to feel prestigious or admired by others.
9. They’re great listeners
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When you don’t have a huge circle of friends to provide leeway in conversations to be distracted, you’re inevitably going to be a better listener. When your friend needs someone to vent to or seek support from, a good friend will be there — cultivating a safe space and being an active listener.
They can’t linger in small talk forever or expect other people to step up to support someone — this is their friend, who they expect reciprocity from, so, of course, they’re present.
Active listening is the key to forming healthy relationships. It activates the reward center in the speaker’s brain, making them feel seen and heard in truly important ways. Whether that’s asking thoughtful questions or simply being quiet when someone’s talking, it’s something that people with one really good friend have mastered.
10. They’re not interested in status
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While many people in our culture today are seeking attention from others and chasing after “status” and power in society, people who have one really good friend may do the opposite. They care more about depth, meaning, and connection than performing for attention or validation from others.
It’s a rare trait — to not care about these social hierarchies — but it ensures that their attention and intentionality are focused on what really matters: their deep, meaningful connections and relationships.
11. They’re ambitious
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If someone’s wildly ambitious in their life, cultivating lofty goals and dreams in every aspect of their lives, chances are they simply don’t have the time or energy to cultivate a million truly meaningful relationships. If they’re putting a lot of energy into work, education, or personal well-being, there’s a trade-off between a single, great friendship and a million superficial ones.
Because these women tend to be self-aware and careful about their energy, they know that if they want to achieve their goals, they have to be intentional about the kinds of relationships they’re cultivating. They only take on what they have the time to do well, even if it’s friendships and new relationships.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
