If A Friend Is Willing To Say These 11 Things To Your Face, They 100% Have Your Back
The truth may hurt, but true friends aren't afraid to tell it to you anyway.
Bricolage / Shutterstock Many friends prefer to tell you what you want to hear rather than what you really need to hear, to spare your feelings. Real friends are willing to give you the harsh truth when necessary. Whether that's telling you you look bad before a big event or that you're being blind to something that's happening to you.
But when you're lucky enough to have those types of people that aren't afraid to confront you for you to grow as a person, you'll find that their words are whose you genuinely appreciate. These friends are not only with you because you have a fun time together, but because they care deeply for you and want you to be your best self.
If a friend is willing to say these 11 things to your face, they 100% have your back
1. 'You're better than this'
Fizkes | Shutterstock
When a friend is trying to pull you down to who you really are, when you find yourself acting differently than you usually would in a situation, they have your back. Let's say you're bringing your standards down for someone or find yourself saying, "I could work with this." If you're lucky to have a friend who cares for you, they'll remind you that this isn't who you are deep inside.
Being reminded of your morals and what you stand for when you find yourself blurring those lines for someone or something will help you bring yourself back to reality and look at the situation with a fresh mind. These types of friends will not stand for you shrinking yourself to fit into places that are not meant for you.
2. 'This person doesn't deserve your energy'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
Friends often can quickly tell who deserves your energy and who doesn't, and if they give you this feedback, they are here to have your back. When they aren't afraid to tell you that someone isn't deserving of your time or even your love, they're not saying this to keep you all to themselves. Instead, they care enough about you to help you build a healthy relationship with others.
When you're emotionally mature and you're talking to someone who isn't, it can be a waste of time trying to get them to be on your level. The truth is, as much as you want to help someone become better, it isn't your job to do that for them. Often, it drains those who attempt it in romantic and platonic relationships. Sometimes you can even see this happening at work.
When you put in all your effort just to be ignored or undervalued, that's when it's time to step away. If you don't step away, hopefully, you have a friend who has your back who will tell you to do so.
3. 'Stop talking about it and do something'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
Friends are always there to listen to you rant about your job, partner, and everything in between. But when it comes to a point where you keep having to repeat your disappointment or hope something would change, they have your back by letting you know that you need to take action.
Leaving your comfort zone is the first step to becoming intentional and taking action in areas where you usually complain. When you start moving with a purpose, you are bound to become happier and more aligned with what truly matters to you.
4. 'You're being dramatic'
New Africa | Shutterstock
This phrase can come out pretty harsh, but when a friend truly has your back, they aren't afraid to tell you so. We're all entitled to our feelings, but when even our close loved ones realize we might be taking it a step too far, their words are what can bring us face-to-face with our actions.
Dr. Ilene Strauss Cohen notes that overreactions can never make a situation better, and those who do are actually sabotaging their happiness. "By taking some time to manage our expectations, we can greatly reduce the chances of overreacting to the imperfections," she says.
5. 'You need to stand up for yourself'
Simona Pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
A friend who has your back will never want to see you dismissed or taken advantage of. Regardless of the situation, they will always urge you to stand up for yourself because they know your worth and will refuse to watch you forget it.
Even when your voice shakes, they'll remind you that it still matters. This type of friend isn't just there to comfort you when you've been hurt. They want you to take action so it never happens again.
6. 'No matter what, I got you'
People Images | Shutterstock
A true friend who will always have your back will always remind you of that. When you're afraid to make a particular life-changing decision and feel as though you won't be able to get through it on your own, they will communicate to you that they will always be there to support you.
Did you decide to run a marathon? A true friend will show up with a sign in hand and with energy packets on deck to keep you going. They might not join it with you, but they will help you cross that line.
Even if you make rash decisions like adopting a cat out of the blue, they'll be the type of friends who ask you what you're going to name it and when they can come visit.
7. 'You've changed'
People Images | Shutterstock
This phrase doesn't need a negative connotation. When a friend who truly has your back says this to you, it can be their way of showing how proud they are that you've flourished into a new person than when they first met you. When you form friendships that last for years, it's not normal for someone to stay the same. Our life experiences, people, and jobs shape us into different people.
Personal growth is essential for a fulfilling and meaningful life. When you start prioritizing your personal development, you reap the benefits of increased self-awareness, career advancement, and greater fulfillment.
8. 'You deserve to know the truth'
Fit Ztudio | Shutterstock
A real friend will always have your back by offering the honesty you deserve. In hopes of not letting you be blindsided by something, they'll have the courage to tell you what others might hide. This could be about someone's intentions towards you or a situation you don't yet fully understand.
At first, it may seem like your friend is trying to sabotage you, but in reality, they value your trust more than your temporary comfort. Researchers suggest that if you know your friend might not like the harsh yet honest truth, you offer resources that can help them change, grow, and improve.
9. 'You don't have to go through this alone'
Bbernard | Shutterstock
When a true friend who will always have your back notices that you may be struggling or need some extra encouragement, they will never fail to remind you that you're not alone. When they see that you're having trouble with your mental health, any personal problems, or even work difficulty, they will be there to assure you that you're not navigating life on your own. Everyone should be strong and independent on their own, but when you have a true friend with whom you can go through life, it can make all the difference.
Having a real friend doesn't always mean having someone to go to dinner with or plan cute craft nights with, but they also make you feel more satisfied in life. Research has shown that people who have high-quality friendships are protected against any mental health issues and live a long life.
10. 'Tell me what's going on'
Mango Star | Shutterstock
Having friends who always have your back means they'll know when you're not acting like yourself. A real friend will not just sit there and watch you wither away. They will want to talk to you to find out what is going on and what they can do to make you feel better. It's painful to watch someone you love go through difficult times, and when you do, it's crucial to let them know they are cared for and are looked after, even if they feel they aren't.
When a friend comes to you to try to comfort you, they're not just doing it to have their old friend back, but they are also signaling to you that you don't have to struggle in silence when they're around.
11. 'I'm proud of the person you're becoming'
Fizkes | Shutterstock
Real friends who genuinely have your back during any situation will be the first ones to notice when you're changing for the better. All those long talks of advice when you saw them start to revert back to their old selves are finally beginning to pay off. Your friends will be your number one fans and will always strive when you do too. It's hard to feel like you've made any real change to yourself, but those who were quietly cheering you on when they saw you take control over your boundaries and stand firmly on your morals will be proud. All those small baby steps they were holding your hand for are starting to pay off.
If you're lucky enough to have these types of friends who aren't afraid of saying any of these phrases, you need to keep them close in your life to help you become who you need to be for yourself. Hopefully, what they say to you will motivate you to do the same for them. Nurturing these relationships will benefit both people in the long run.
Doreen Albuerne is a writer with a bachelor's degree in journalism, covering relationships, mental health, and lifestyle topics.
