People Who Are Annoying For No Reason Almost Always Use These 11 Phrases When Talking To You
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock Many people that we find annoying trigger us in some way. Sometimes, it’s something as simple as a person’s face or tone of voice that annoys us, as social worker and therapist Maria Baratta explains. And, in other cases, their behaviors bring up trauma or make us cringe immediately. Our brains are wired toward a natural “fight or flight” response, and even if we’re not immediately in danger when we’re around annoying people, this difficulty sparks anxiety and avoidance.
Sometimes, it’s the language someone uses or the ignorance a person conveys while speaking to us that sparks this response. From “back in my day” to “it’s not that deep,” people who are annoying for no reason almost always use these phrases when talking to you, bringing up some kind of trauma or crossing a certain boundary that immediately turns us off.
People who are annoying for no reason almost always use these 11 phrases when talking to you
1. ‘It’s not that deep’
Goksi | Shutterstock
Considering our conversations and relationships are often strongly built on being heard and respected by others, as a study from PLOS One explains, when someone dismisses our feelings with a phrase like “it’s not that deep,” it can bring up a million different complex emotions.
The people we cultivate healthy relationships with are often there to validate our feelings and support us, even when they don’t necessarily agree. They may think we’re being “too emotional” or escalating something simple, but that doesn’t mean they express that or do anything less than show up.
2. ‘Not to interrupt, but...’
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
If someone is self-aware enough to understand that they’re interrupting a conversation, but continues to do it, for no apparent reason, of course they’re going to seem more annoying. While some interruptions are motivated by things like excitement and insecurity, others use them as a means of control. They need to feel important and admired, even if it comes at the expense of others.
That’s why these people are often annoying, especially to active listeners and empathetic people who care about everyone’s voices being heard.
3. ‘Does that make sense?’
BongkarnGraphic | Shutterstock
Especially when it’s repeated over and over again, a harmless question like “What do you mean?” can quickly start to feel patronizing and annoying. For people who cling desperately to their positions of power and status, using this phrase asserts their dominance over others, even if they’re explaining things that are more-than-easy to understand.
People who are annoying for no reason almost always use phrases like this when talking to you. Their entitlement, ignorance, and general superiority are all experiences that tend to trigger our fight or flight responses immediately.
4. ‘Anyway’
Zoran Jesic | Shutterstock
When someone tries to move on from a topic they’re not interested in or blocks someone out of a conversation by following up their contributions with a phrase like “anyway,” they’re going to annoy others. Especially if they go out of their way to avoid making people feel heard and understood, they’re not going to cultivate a trusting, empathetic foundation to a real relationship.
Especially amid uncertainty, according to a 2022 study, feeling heard is tied to our psychological safety. So, of course, when someone steamrolls over our emotions and invalidates our presence, we’re annoyed out of necessity to protect ourselves.
5. ‘I’m not trying to be rude’
PLotulitStocker | Shutterstock
If someone uses a phrase like “I’m not trying to be rude” as a precursor to cruelty or mean comments, chances are they already know that they’re being rude — they just don’t care about changing. They’d prefer to cling to their misguided victimhood and protect themselves from needing to apologize than actually change their behavior to be more inclusive and empathetic.
As stereotypical narcissistic behavior reveals, there’s a “dark side” to emotional intelligence that often prompts this behavior. The most annoying people know how to frame their demands as “boundaries” and often justify their behavior in a way that refuses pushback.
6. ‘I’m just an honest person’
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
When someone tries to justify their meanness or cruelty with a phrase like “I’m just an honest person,” they’re actually just trying to protect their self-image. They think that by hiding behind the disguise of “brutal honesty,” they can avoid being responsible for their actions and apologizing for their behavior.
“I’m an honest person” is a phrase the most annoying people use, because it’s clear they’re harming others and acting from a selfish perspective, but refuse to admit it.
7. ‘That’s my opinion’
RollingCamera | Shutterstock
When people double down on their mean habits and invalidate people’s hurt by justifying their misbehavior with phrases like “that’s my opinion,” they sabotage their relationships quickly. Of course, we’re annoyed by this kind of language, because it triggers our desire to be heard and to feel seen.
When someone clings to their superiority and “correctness,” rather than making space for everyone to express themselves and express concerns, they harm the joy of small connections. They take the connection out of passing conversations and make it all about themselves.
8. ‘Just relax’
WESTOCK PRODUCTIONS | Shutterstock
Dismissive people have a range of actions and daily behaviors that actively disrespect and invalidate other people. From getting defensive when they’re confronted for their behavior to judging everyone’s every move, they annoy everyone in their lives by trying to compensate for their low self-esteem.
People who are annoying for no reason almost always use phrases like “just relax” or “stop being so emotional” that dismiss people’s feelings and push them away. They care more about protecting the narrative and their own personal peace than acknowledging how their language invalidates and harms others.
9. ‘That’s how the world works’
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
According to psychology professor Ronald E. Riggio, people are often so resistant to change because it sparks discomfort, fear, and anxiety. For stubborn, insecure people who cling to their sense of safety with control, of course they’re not going to be interested in changing anything about their life, even if it’s actively harming others.
These kinds of rigid thinkers and insecure people annoy us instantly, usually using phrases like “that’s how that world works” to justify their behaviors and make excuses for not taking accountability. They’re the same people who believe their misfortune is a symptom of “bad luck” or who blame their actions on the world around them.
10. ‘I’m playing devil’s advocate’
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
According to a study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, people on the receiving end of someone playing “devil’s advocate” often feel as if they’re being “bullied.” They don’t feel heard or understood by someone who’s only trying to prove a point and often feel more excluded from social interactions where someone’s more concerned about “correctness” than compassion.
When we feel like someone’s only talking over us for attention or is trying to make everyone around us feel inferior, annoyance infiltrates our interactions almost immediately.
11. ‘Everyone else does it’
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Peer pressure is often common amongst people who annoy us as a collective. Especially if it’s a stranger, a bad friend, or someone we don’t necessarily admire, having them pressure us into impulsivity or unhealthy behaviors can feel dangerous — and usually it is.
While we tend to think of it as a childhood experience, the truth is that peer pressure follows us into adulthood. “Everyone else does it” or “you’re no fun” are phrases that annoying people say often, usually to compensate for their own insecurities and loneliness.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
