People Who Are Bitter About Their Lives Almost Always Say These 11 Things Out Loud
ProCinemaStock / Shutterstock Bitterness typically arises from an overwhelming sense of negativity that clouds out joy and positive emotions. People who’ve dealt with a lot of adversity may struggle to cope with their complex emotions, as they are used to being let down. This can lead them to develop a bitter attitude, and one that's not entirely unjustified. Life is often difficult and unfair, and unless you have social support and healthy coping mechanisms, it can feel impossible.
When people are bitter about their lives, they almost always say things out loud that convey their sense of hurt and disappointment. Unfortunately, speaking this way often reinforces their struggle, keeping them feeling powerless and amplifying the pain that drowns out their joy.
People who are bitter about their lives almost always say these 11 things out loud
1. ‘I just have horrible luck’
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As clinical psychologist Cortney S. Warren explains, luck has nothing to do with our personal choices, habits, and behaviors. Rather, it’s accidental. Whether it’s good luck, like being offered a random opportunity or being in the right place at the right time, or less favorable fortune, it’s not something we can reliably use as an excuse for not taking responsibility in our own lives.
However, truly bitter people, who feel “out of control” in their own lives and struggle to take accountability for their own choices, may use “luck” to justify their actions or to comfort their fragile ego or insecurity. They use phrases like “you got lucky” or “I just have horrible luck” out loud to protect themselves, even if, in reality, accountability and action are what they need to thrive.
2. ‘Must be nice’
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When someone uses a phrase like “must be nice,” what they’re usually expressing is that they believe they can’t have something that they want, that the person they’re speaking to already has. Whether it’s opportunity, money, love, or confidence, for some reason, they’ve been socialized or taught that they’re not deserving of it.
However, this mentality is rooted in a lack of control and personal accountability. Life is unfair and unpredictable, but you have the power to change things. You can set new goals, achieve things, and change your reality if you approach this kind of jealousy and desire with action, rather than resentment.
Resentment is a powerful, complex emotion that tends to sabotage personal relationships, according to psychologist Seth Meyers, but it’s also a main driver of personal bitterness. People who use these phrases and hold onto grudges will remain stuck in a season of their life they’re chronically unhappy with, and without change and forgiveness, it will feel impossible to remove themselves from.
3. ‘What’s the point?’
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As a 2016 study suggests, helplessness is often associated with an experience where someone “gives up.” They don’t believe that anything matters, so they tend to use phrases like “What’s even the point?” and attitudes like passiveness to justify their sedentary, disengaged lifestyle.
These people feel like they have no control over the things they’re facing. They accept their struggles as a state of mind and an inescapable reality, even though they always have the power to change their own life. They’re bitter because they believe the adversity and negativity they’re facing in their life is permanent and concrete.
4. ‘I’m used to it’
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Repetitive negative thoughts tend to push people into rumination and other mental health concerns, as a study published in Collabra Psychology explains, which cause bitterness and a sense of hopelessness. Especially for people who tend to suppress their emotions and run from self-reflection, they may not even realize that their thinking patterns are actually exacerbating the struggles and negative energy they’re facing in daily life.
They’re used to struggling because they’re subconsciously keeping themselves stuck in negative thinking patterns and feelings. Even if it’s entirely subconscious, they know that they’ll struggle in life because they expect it and manifest it into their routines.
5. ‘I stopped caring a long time ago’
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When a person feels bitter in their life, they’re also disengaged and disconnected. Even in their relationships and marriages, this kind of disengagement might feel harmless, but experts from a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggest that it’s the point of no return that leads to separation.
They believe that emotional numbness and disconnection are protective mechanisms that help them avoid rejection or embarrassment, even if it’s really draining the positivity and optimism out of their everyday lives.
6. ‘That’s just how the world works’
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People who cling to a powerless attitude and run from responsibility are chronically bitter and unhappy. They expect other people to constantly bend to their every need, solve their problems, and create opportunities in their lives without ever being uncomfortable for a moment. So, of course, when nobody is around, they feel helpless.
As a study from the University of Cambridge explains, people who feel powerless in their lives see the world differently. Of course, they’re bitter, because their constant negative thinking patterns and view of the world ensures that they’ll be unhappy and resentful.
7. ‘Life isn’t fair’
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Relationship expert Barton Goldsmith argues that many people misconstrue the lines between personal “deservingness” and fairness in life. They believe that life is entirely “unfair” because someone disappointed them or another person in their life got something that they wanted. However, bad things happen to good people all the time. It’s not just a stereotype.
The difference between a bitter person and their happier counterparts is that the bitter person blames everyone around them for this unfairness and plays the victim. They don’t change themselves or adopt new habits to seek the things they want — they expect others to do it for them, even if it means staying in the same, bitter, resentful place forever.
Saying that "life isn’t fair” should be motivating for change and personally comforting, not an excuse.
8. ‘I just try to get through the day’
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People who live unhealthily in the present moment, stuck in “survival mode,” and dismissing thoughts about the future or a lack of dreams, will be chronically unhappy. Of course, as a Mindfulness study explains, being present in your life is one thing. It’s healthy to appreciate your life as it is right now and tends to spark positive emotions, but being stuck in a fight-or-flight state in the present moment only sabotages your future growth.
People who are bitter about their lives almost always say phrases like “I just try to get through the day,” not necessarily to seek out sympathy, but to avoid the stress and anxiety they often experience when they think about the future.
9. ‘You just don’t understand’
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According to a study published in Research in Personality, people are happier and healthier when they feel regularly understood by the people around them. Even in casual social interactions, feeling appreciated and heard truly sparks positive emotions.
However, people who are bitter in their lives may feel chronically misunderstood as they let negativity take over their language, attitude, and routine. They’re chronically unhappy, and even if they don’t realize it, that energy is carrying over into their relationships and interactions, skewing their self-image.
So, it’s not entirely uncommon for them to use phrases like “you just don’t understand” in favor of vulnerability and emotional expression that can provide guidance and support when they need it most.
10. ‘I’m fine’
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Psychology experts agree that bitterness tends to manifest through passive-aggressiveness, both in regular behaviors and in conversational language. They resort to passive-aggressive behavior to cope with and express their anger outwardly, even if it’s confusing and disorienting for the people around them.
They may not realize it, but it’s passive-aggressive phrases like “I’m fine” and “you’re always right” that isolate them and further amplify their complex, negative feelings inside.
11. ‘You’re not the only one’
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People who are bitter about their lives almost always use phrases like “you’re not the only one,” not to make people feel seen and understood, but because they don’t know how to make space for other people’s emotions. They yearn for support but don’t know how to ask for help. They’re seeking feelings of community and attention, but still feel chronically overlooked and misunderstood.
They’re so caught up in their own negative spirals, emotional turmoil, and overthinking habits that they forget to acknowledge other people’s struggles.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
