You Can Be Sure You Succeeded As A Parent If Your Kids Have These 11 Habits As Adults
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Parenting is no easy feat and raising children to become good adults is a big task. We all want our children to be kind, compassionate, and respectful, and take those traits with them as they grow up. And while parents put a lot of pressure on themselves, you can be sure you succeeded as a parent if your kids have these specific habits as adults.
Parents take on societal pressure and stereotypes about what it means to be a good parent. For some, that means getting their children into the best college or pushing them to succeed in sports. This pressure also gets absorbed by children, causing them to struggle with feeling good enough. It's a vicious cycle, but when you instill certain behaviors into your kids intended to let them grow into well-rounded people, you can relax knowing you raised a special person.
You can be sure you succeeded as a parent if your kids have these 11 habits as adults
1. Taking responsibility for their actions
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Being in the habit of taking responsibility for their actions is one of the best things an adult child could have inherited from their parents. We have all met adults who are not able to admit when they were wrong.
It's frustrating to try to have a productive conversation with them. But getting your children in the habit of saying sorry and holding themselves accountable not only sets them up for success, but also shows your own effective parenting skills.
We all do things we are not proud of; even if we strive to be the best person we can be, slip-ups are bound to happen. It's part of life. When you instill the habit of responsibility into a child, it allows them to admit when they're wrong. They can see their flaws and work on fixing them, seeing it as a way to grow.
2. Practicing great manners
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You can be sure you succeeded as a parent if your kids practice great manners as adults. Maybe you got them into the habit of saying "please" and "thank you" or taught them to clear the table when done eating; either way, instilling these values set them up for great things.
They grew to treat everyone they meet with respect. You'll likely even notice them doing kind things like holding the door open for others and saying "sir" and "ma'am" to their elders.
Manners are the way we do things, as licensed clinical psychologist Ronald Stolberg pointed out. So, we have to get into the habit of doing them daily as children. Once that foundation is set, your child will take this into adulthood.
3. Calling you often
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We have all heard stories of people who grew up in unhealthy households. They cut themselves off from their family when they are old enough to make that decision. It's sad to think about, but when parenting goes wrong, it's to be expected. Adults value their space and time more than children are capable of, so when they do not call often, it can be a sign of childhood hurt.
If you raise a child who is in the habit of calling you often, you can be sure you succeeded as a parent. They want to talk to you as much as they can and you always know what is going on in their lives. From who they're dating to what's going on at work, they value your parenting and are maintaining a strong relationship with you.
4. Providing support for the people they care about
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Supportive adult children have a healthy habit of being there for the people they care for. They make for wonderful friends, as having someone you can rely on is a powerful resource in life. Those who can show up even in the darkest times for their friends and family are special.
Being in the habit of providing support starts in childhood. When parents practice support while raising their kids, they can almost count on them to value that habit into adulthood. They mirror what they saw you do. If you often held them while they cried or told them how proud you were of them, they will keep doing so as an adult.
5. Maintaining strong friendships
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When your children grew up around a supportive and loving family, you can be sure you succeeded as a parent if they have strong friendships into adulthood. They mirrored what they saw at home and applied it to their friendships.
As happiness author Gretchen Rubin explained, "Strong social ties are a key to happiness. You need close, long-term relationships; you need to be able to confide in others; you need to belong; you need to get and give support... Not only does having strong relationships make it far more likely that you take joy in life, but... it also lengthens life."
6. Showing empathy
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Believe it or not, we have to form a habit of being empathetic. Maybe a person is capable of putting themselves in someone else's shoes in their heads, but struggles to verbalize and show their support in person. Being empathetic requires action above all else, so when your adult child shows empathy for everyone, you've succeeded as a parent.
Leadership consultant Gustavo Razzetti explained that empathy is a superpower. It's not just a feeling; it's something we have to practice to maintain. If your adult child is empathetic, they are a valuable person.
7. Never giving up
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Any strong adult needs to have some grit. Being in the habit of committing to something until you achieve it is not something that comes naturally. But most people who have this ability grew up around constant encouragement. They were often inspired to do their best, and if this sentiment relates to you, your children are lucky to have you as a parent.
Kids learn resilience that they can put into practice for the rest of their lives, while parents who minimize their children's feelings do not teach them the importance of resilience. Getting them into the habit of working for something until they achieve it, while supporting them along the way, is powerful. Only the best parents can instill this into their kids.
8. Expressing gratitude daily
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Practicing gratitude reminds people of how lucky they are to have the lives they do. Even through the deepest lows, taking a moment to see the good in what you can lifts your spirits. If you taught your children to be grateful for the good and constantly provided them with uplifting support, they have cultivated gratitude in adulthood.
"Gratitude is consistently linked to higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. In a landmark study, participants who were asked to keep a gratitude journal, in which they recorded things they were grateful for, reported significantly higher well-being levels than those who did not," psychologist Jessica Koehler explained. "This finding has been replicated in other studies, demonstrating that gratitude has a robust and lasting effect on positive emotions."
9. Being smart with their money
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Healthy money habits are taught in childhood. When parents provide a sound financial foundation, kids are more mindful of their spending, and that habit will pay off for them in the long run.
For instance, self-made millionaire Jonathan Sanchez taught his children the importance of saving for the future. Instead of giving long lectures, he used simple phrases that taught them why they should be smart with their funds. And when you instill this habit into their young minds, they continue to be wise with their finances into adulthood.
10. Doing kind acts without being asked
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You can be sure you succeeded as a parent if your kids perform small acts of kindness without even being asked. While we may naturally be inclined to do heartfelt gestures for others, we often develop the habit after watching our parents do it for us.
If you raised your child in a home that valued acts of kindness, they will have mastered the skill at a young age. They were likely the kids in school who were always looking out for others around them, checking in when they got hurt on the playground or hanging out with the new kid who just moved to town.
Kind gestures become a habit when you no longer think before you do them. There is power to be found in unexpected acts of kindness. This habit can change the course of someone else's day.
11. Always learning new things
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For many adults, staying in the habit of expanding our minds fades with time. We become stuck in our routines. We stop seeking knowledge. We go to work, do our hobbies and responsibilities, and go to sleep. It's not hard to fall into this rhythm.
But if you've raised a wonderful child, they never lose that spark for learning. They are in the habit of building up their knowledge because they know it helps them grow. Making learning a life-long habit is important for continued success. It allows them to do anything from moving up the corporate ladder to having more interesting conversations with the people in their lives.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master's degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
