Parents Who Raise Grateful Kids Who Don’t Expect Everything During The Holidays Do 4 Simple Things
Colin + Meg | Unsplash Kids absorb information from all around them, and when the world goes into winter holiday mode, it can be confusing to sort out where happiness ends and greed begins. Grateful kids are often shown by their parents how the holidays are about true togetherness, not what's waiting for them under the Christmas tree or Hanukkah bush.
Parents know money can't buy the love of a child. Even non-parents can agree that money won't buy happiness, yet the persistence of holiday marketing can make all the sparkling new toys seem like the gateway to joy from the perspective of a child. Parents can be challenged by the impact that holiday marketing has on children, but a few boundaries can help offset kids' expectations.
Parents who raise grateful kids who don’t expect everything during the holidays do four simple things:
1. Set gift limits
Meaningful gifts have more emotional value than a mountain of generic presents. Setting limits on gift-giving triggers more thoughtfulness and consideration in children. When they know their limits, children can hone their focus and learn to evaluate choices.
It also guarantees that everyone experiences an equal amount of giving and receiving. And remember, homemade gifts such as artwork or poetry can create memories that last longer than AA batteries.
2. Stick to your usual routines, even when you're away
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Too often, parents allow sleeping schedules, chores, and other household structures to fall apart during Christmas and the holidays. Without structure, though, kids’ behaviors will deteriorate.
For example, if your child suddenly has unlimited access to sweets, stays up all night, and sleeps all day, you’re going to see more meltdowns, moodiness, and bullying. Loss of structure during the holidays is the number one cause of problematic behaviors.
3. Focus on esteem-building gifts
Aim for gifts that enhance creativity, talents, or motor skills, such as musical instruments, paints, cameras, etc. Children love to discover new talents. It strengthens their self-esteem and confidence. They also learn that they don’t need excessive belongings to feel good about themselves.
We often consider the emotion we observe when a gift is received and believe it is a reflection of the appreciation and value of the gift. The assumption can be reinforced by the excitement of giving and receiving expensive items.
Social experiments examined whether experiential gifts produce greater improvements in relationship strength than material gifts, explaining that the joy that recipients derive from experiential gifts stems from the intensity of emotion that is evoked when they use the gifts, rather than when the gifts are received.
4. Teach the joy of giving
Kids whose parents encourage them to give gifts to others experience a stronger sense of community and interconnectedness. Research on gift-giving explored gift-giving as a common behavior to build connections. The study investigated what types of gifts increased the closeness between giver and recipient the most. The results showed "both givers and receivers report greater feelings of closeness to their gift partner when the gift reflects the giver."
Help your kids learn the value of giving by engaging them in altruistic activities such as volunteer work or helping those in need. After all, isn’t that kind of giving the true spirit of the holiday?
Sean Grover is a psychotherapist, speaker, and author with 25 years of experience working with adults and children.
