People Who Misread Social Cues Almost Always Use These 11 Awkward Phrases
Zmaster / Shutterstock Everyone's been in an awkward situation. Whether it's accidentally waving at someone or fumbling over their words, socializing is far from easy for some people, and those who tend to misread social cues always use awkward phrases in an attempt to deal with their discomfort.
It's not that they weren't taught the basics. However, some people have a tough time picking up on body language. Especially with strangers, it's common to misread or misinterpret a few social cues. So, even if it makes the situation more awkward, people who misread social cues can't help but blurt out certain uncomfortable things.
People who misread social cues use these 11 awkward phrases
1. 'Sorry, I was just being honest'
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People who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "Sorry, I was just being honest." They might not realize it, but their honesty really boils down to rudeness. From commenting on someone's appearance to their life decisions, there's a way to be honest without being rude. Unfortunately, many people who struggle to read social cues don't understand how their commentary comes across.
As a result, their disrespect sparks more outrage than they've come to realize. As a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology pointed out, people who are disrespected experience higher levels of aggression than simply being disliked. So, if someone knows they struggle to read social cues, always approach honesty with caution. By waiting until you have your thoughts gathered or by rehearsing your honesty with someone else, you can avoid coming across as rude.
2. 'I really think you should calm down'
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It's normal for things to get heated from time to time. However, when they do, people who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "I really think you should calm down." This might not seem like a huge deal to them. In their eyes, they're being respectful and helpful. However, the issue with telling someone to calm down is simple: it never truly works. As a matter of fact, it can easily make that person feel disrespected as they begin to feel their emotions are being undermined.
So, rather than telling others to take a chill pill, simply say, "Hey, I get that everyone's emotions are strong right now, and I want to have a productive conversation. Why don't we both take ten minutes to gather our thoughts and then come back?" That way, they're acknowledging that person's emotions while simultaneously giving them a way to cool that frustration off.
3. 'You look tired'
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For those with genetic eye bags, this is one of the worst things someone can say. Sure, it might sound helpful, but criticizing someone over their appearance is bound to end in disaster. Not only is it rude, but it doesn't help in the grand scheme of things. "This is because, as findings on downward comparisons show, criticizing others can temporarily boost your self-esteem and make you feel good. But over time, if you start depending on this strategy to boost your self-esteem, it starts backfiring for two reasons," said associate professor Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D.
Number one, it makes them more likely to criticize you. Number two, you invite the company of negative people who are like you. Still, many people who struggle with socialization can't help but fall into this trap, which is why people who misread social cues always say, "You look tired." While it may come from a place of concern, the key to criticizing someone's appearance is this: if they can't change it in five minutes, don't say anything at all.
4. 'I was just joking'
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Everyone loves a good joke. Whether it's cracking one at a loved one or lightly joking with a stranger, humor has a way of uniting people. However, people who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "My bad, I was just joking." Once someone lashes out, people who miss social cues are quick to become defensive. Blaming it on light-hearted jokes, they do their best to brush off other people's concerns.
However, there's never an excuse to be rude or to poke at someone's insecurities. While they may view it as a joke, others aren't as forgiving and can quickly take offense, leading to a tense and awkward interaction. So, if someone isn't sure whether to crack a joke, remember that it's always better to be safe than sorry.
5. 'Well actually...'
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Over-explaining simple concepts to someone is one of the quickest ways to annoy and frustrate them. Not only is it completely unnecessary, but it's essentially saying, "I don't think you're smart enough to understand this." Unfortunately, this is exactly what happens as people who misread social cues always use the phrase.
Without realizing it, they over-explain something someone already said in simpler terms. While they may think they're being helpful, it only really makes a situation worse. Even so, people shouldn't be too hard on them. As Clinical Specialist in Child and Adolescent Counseling, Stephanie A. Sarkis, Ph.D., pointed out, "Over-explaining often stems from trauma, anxiety, or people-pleasing habits." Still, if someone finds themselves saying, "Well, actually," pause. Ask yourself, "Is this really necessary?"
6. 'I don't get why that's a problem'
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Sure, they might not mean anything by it. For some, it truly is genuine confusion. However, people who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "I don't get why that's a problem." While it may be difficult for them to grasp, others are quick to understand it. From emotional situations to different perspectives, some people can understand and handle social situations better than others.
And while this isn't the other person's fault, the way they go about it matters. For many, using this phrase often comes across as rude. So, if they're genuinely curious and want to know, simply say, "Hey, I'm a bit confused about what happened? Can you explain the problem to me, so I understand better?" Rather than being dismissive, this phrase shows genuine curiosity, which reads better and makes a situation less awkward.
7. 'Don't take this the wrong way, but...'
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Telling the truth isn't always easy. No matter how kind someone tries to be, it's way too easy to say something out of line. And a common awkward phrase people who misread social cues always use is, "Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Sure, it may sound kind and careful; however, using this phrase doesn't have the impact people think it does. Similarly to no offense, just because someone utters this phrase doesn't make it less offensive.
Not only that, but it actually makes for a much more hostile environment. As assistant professor Trevor A. Foulk, Ph.D., explained, "Rudeness can also be contagious, so that when we encounter it, we often become a little ruder ourselves." Find a way to be upfront while remaining respectful. Otherwise, it might lead to more tense, awkward social interactions.
8. 'Everyone's gone through that'
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When it comes to intense emotions, there's rarely an easy way to sort through them. No matter how gentle or kind someone is, it's easy to set an emotional person off when they haven't processed things. That being said, these individuals make it worse as people who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "Everyone's gone through that."
Sure, many people might've gone through something similar. However, just because someone's gone through something similar doesn't mean that their feelings are less valid. No matter what you think, emotions deserve to be respected and treated with a level of respect. So, if they aren't willing to, it's better to remain silent than say something that could wind up being more hurtful.
9. 'I really think we should just move on'
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On the surface, moving on from an awkward or tough interaction might seem like the best bet. Nobody wants to linger in discomfort, and at the end of the day, everyone just wants to get along. However, without properly addressing the situation or uttering an apology, it can truly make an already bad situation worse. This is why being genuine goes a long way. As Molly Howes, Ph.D., said, "In my experience, a good apology not only heals the first injury but strengthens the relationship between people."
Still, people who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "I really think we should just move on." If that person still seems bothered, always talk things through and, if necessary, apologize. While it may be uncomfortable, setting things right looks a lot better and feels a lot better than simply pretending that the issue doesn't exist.
10. 'You're reading too much into it'
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It isn't always easy to know what's going on in someone's head. While some people are steady and logical, others have a tendency to overthink, leading to overanalyzing. This is why people who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "You're reading too much into it." They aren't trying to be rude; however, in their logical mind, they feel like there's an overreaction somewhere.
Of course, it isn't the kindest thing to tell someone that they're reading too much into it. After all, nobody likes being told they're overreacting. So, instead of downplaying things and using another awkward phrase, something they can say instead is, "Hey, I get where you're coming from and how worrying this is. For now, let's focus on this topic, and we can revisit this topic later on." That way, they're helping the conversation move forward without being disrespectful.
11. 'It's just common sense'
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Finally, people who misread social cues always use the awkward phrase, "It's just common sense." No matter the context, the outcome is the same: it's rude. There's never a reason to tell someone, 'it's common sense.' From making someone feel more uncomfortable to making them feel disrespected, it's always better to move on than to comment that something is 'common sense.'
As E. Paul Zehr, Ph.D., said, "If you can't say something nice or useful, don't say anything at all." So, if this phrase won't add anything to the conversation and will only make someone feel more awkward, it's better to save it for another day.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
