People Almost Always Say These 11 Phrases When They Feel Socially Awkward
What a person says in uncomfortable moments can offer some insight into how social settings make them feel.
VH-studio / Shutterstock Being socially awkward is often rooted in a variety of struggles a person may be facing. These could include low self-esteem, troubles with rejection and criticism, social anxiety, and more. Whatever they are specifically, these struggles make it difficult for some people to thrive in social settings.
There are also many phrases people say when they feel socially awkward that reveal a bit of what is going on for them. If they feel that there is a possibility of rejection or that their reaction to what they say may leave them feeling worse about themselves, for example, they may say things to either prevent this from happening or soften the blow when it does.
People almost always say these 11 phrases when they feel socially awkward
1. 'Never mind, forget I said anything'
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When people feel socially awkward, they may say “Never mind, forget I said anything” after saying something that they fear may be perceived in the wrong way. They overthink what the reaction to their statement may be, and they fear that they may be judged for it.
Claudia Beck, a master certified coach and a certified professional co-active coach, explains that, “A brain prone to overthinking may ruminate on past social interactions, engaging in negative self-talk for things they didn’t say or do correctly. Such a habit can make you feel more socially awkward for fear of making a mistake.”
When a person thinks that they made a mistake by saying what they have, they want to try and take it back. They want the other person in the interaction to forget it was ever said.
2. 'I don't do small talk'
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If a person feels socially awkward in a crowd or during an interaction, they may say that they don’t engage in small talk. It is not necessarily that they do not want to make small talk, but if they struggle with their mental health, their brain may become foggy, making it very hard for them to know what to say.
These kinds of interactions typically make them feel more awkward and more anxious due to the stress and fear of silence that they cause the person to feel.
“People with shyness and social anxiety sometimes find making small talk very difficult. Typically they have beliefs about themselves and others that contribute to anxiety and avoidance of these interactions,” mentions John Montopoli, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed professional clinical counselor.
3. 'This is probably a stupid question, but...'
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When someone feels socially awkward, they preface their questions by saying “this is probably a stupid question, but…” as a defense mechanism. They choose to insult their own question before anyone else gets the chance to do so.
By doing this, they hope it will help them cope with any negative reactions they may get. This person probably struggles heavily with their self-confidence and takes rejection from others hard.
According to a 2022 study, “A low self-esteem will weaken the individual ability to adapt to the communication environment, easily cause sensitivity to interpersonal rejections, and thus increase the level of social anxiety. Thus, the level of self-esteem is significantly correlated with social anxiety.”
4. 'You probably wouldn't understand'
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Some people who have a fear of being misunderstood or have difficulty expressing the way that they feel may experience social awkwardness. While feeling socially awkward, they may say that others would not understand how they are feeling or what they are saying.
At times, this may also be the result of past experiences where this person was misunderstood or judged for expressing themselves. This left them feeling unheard, and so they decided that those interactions would dictate how they act in future situations.
Chris Macleod, a trained counselor with a master’s degree in social work, explains that a person who experienced something humiliating could develop social awkwardness after taking a hit to their self-worth. “They felt so mortified at the time that it got seared into their unconscious, and they live in fear of being disgraced like that again,” he said.
This is why these people would rather initially say others will not understand them than potentially face judgment and humiliation again.
5. 'Sorry, I'm rambling'
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A person who struggles with low self-esteem and a fear of judgment will typically feel socially awkward. If they start feeling self-conscious during social interactions, they may apologize for rambling as a defense mechanism.
By making this statement, they are trying to regain control of a situation that likely feels uncertain and nerve-wracking to them. People who feel socially awkward due to overwhelming feelings of anxiety may use safety behaviors to help them cope. “The anxious sorry is often considered a safety behavior, which refers to the short-acting relief techniques we use to calm our anxiety,” explains Gregory Chasson, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist.
6. 'You know what I mean?'
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Someone who feels socially awkward may constantly ask people if they know what they mean after commenting. This person may struggle with low self-esteem and a need for external validation, which influences them to make this statement.
In an attempt to seek reassurance and validation, they will want to make sure what they are saying is understood by the person they are talking to. They fear that others will think negatively about them based on their comments, and they want to feel heard and understood by others.
7. 'I'm probably overthinking'
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A person who tends to feel socially awkward will typically have a lot of self-doubt and internal worry taking place as they are experiencing social interactions. They will likely say that they are probably overthinking things as a way to downplay their true emotions.
Doing this acts as a coping mechanism for them. They try to use it to combat the overthinking that is likely caused by their social anxiety. “Social anxiety is rooted in thoughts. If you're socially anxious you think that others are judging you badly. To make matters worse, you think that the things that you suppose other people are thinking are true,” according to Overcoming, a company that offers self-help and mental health resources.
8. 'You probably don't care about this, but...'
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Someone who struggles with being socially awkward will commonly give a disclaimer before saying something. They may tell someone that they probably won’t care about whatever they are going to say as a way to create a safety net in case the person reacts poorly to the statement.
Beck explains that having uncertainty about what they should say is a common sign of social awkwardness. She mentions that they will fear saying something wrong, and they will be self-conscious, which is why they will feel a need to tell the person beforehand that they will likely not care about the statement that is about to be made.
9. 'I don't care'
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When a person feels socially awkward, they may often say that they don’t care when asked for their opinion on a certain matter. This may cause them to appear indecisive, but really it is them using the statement as a coping mechanism.
To avoid having to share their true opinions out of a fear of making a mistake, saying something wrong, or not choosing something that pleases other people, they would rather just say that they do not care. When someone is feeling socially awkward, they want to do whatever they can to avoid being vulnerable.
10. 'That's crazy'
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Someone who is socially awkward may repeatedly say, “That’s crazy,” instead of adding new insights to a conversation. They use this phrase as a filler and a way to avoid the awkwardness of silence when they are unsure of what they should say next.
If this person also struggles with social anxiety, this may be a comment they make due to feeling overwhelmed by their emotions. If they feel a fear of being scrutinized, they will fall back on a statement that may help them get through the conversation while avoiding any risks.
11. 'I don't know if this makes sense...'
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A socially awkward person may say they are not sure if what they are about to say makes sense as a way of seeking validation when they feel overwhelmed in social settings. They likely struggle with low self-confidence and a fear of being judged.
They hope that by saying this statement, it will soften any potential criticism they may get. While not everyone will use these phrases when feeling socially awkward, they are very common for most people struggling with this because, in their eyes, they help them get through the social interaction in the safest way possible.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
