If You Always Cuddle A Pillow When You Fall Asleep, It Probably Means These 11 Things About You

Our sleeping habits say a lot about us. Whether it’s sleeping position, the bedtime routine we strictly follow, or the comfortable options we choose to cuddle up with at night, these things don’t just predict rest and sleep quality, but also tell a lot about our internal battles and personalities. Sometimes, they can mean we crave stability or appreciate a routine, and if you always cuddle with a pillow when you fall asleep, it probably means these things about you.

When we’re carrying lingering internal stress into bed at night or missing someone, figuring out how to cope can be challenging, but sometimes self-soothing behaviors are instinctual. When we’re cuddling up with a pillow at night, it’s not always a behavior with deeper meaning. But don’t get it twisted — it can be a sign of a deeper yearning.

If you always cuddle a pillow when you fall asleep, it probably means these 11 things about you

1. You find ways to self-soothe

woman self-soothing cuddling pillow Giulio_Fornasar | Shutterstock

If you’re carrying a lot of pent-up stress throughout the day, there’s a chance that cuddling your pillow at night is a self-soothing behavior to relieve it. Of course, there are many ways to relieve stress throughout the day, from exercise to cleaning, but once you’re in bed, without any self-soothing rituals, the lingering stress can quickly affect your sleep quality.

So, even if it seems subtle, this self-soothing technique actually helps to lull you to sleep. Like a study from Comprehensive Psychoneuroendocrinology suggests, hugging often reduces the cortisol that’s internally associated with the body’s stress response, even if it’s an inanimate object in bed.

2. You’re very affectionate

affectionate woman smiling in bed hugging her pillow Mix and Match Studio | Shutterstock

Even if it also manifests in physical touch with a partner, positive self-touch, or intimacy with close friends, if you always cuddle a pillow when you fall asleep, it probably means that you’re a very affectionate person.

Especially if you’re a woman, you can probably attribute this affectionate behavior to your genetics, at least according to a study from Communication Monographs, which argues that affectionate personalities often adopt their behaviors from parents.

It’s simply a means to display your internal yearning for closeness, even when nobody else is around.

3. You’re connected to your childhood habits

man cuddling with pillow from childhood habit Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

If you’re connected to your inner child and often resort to childhood coping mechanisms and behaviors when life gets overwhelming, that could be part of the reason why you cuddle with your pillow before you go to bed. If it’s a habit that started in childhood to provide stability at night, you’re probably connecting with that smaller version of you when things get stressful now.

Of course, this behavior is often harmless and simple — like cuddling a pillow — but can sometimes spiral into more complex and unsustainable behaviors without mending childhood trauma and learning new productive coping skills, at least according to a study from the Primary Care Companion for CNS Disorders.

4. You have an internal tenderness that hardly shows

woman with an internal tenderness that hardly shows laying in bed Hananeko_Studio | Shutterstock

If you’re forced into a rigid role at work or struggle to let your vulnerable side out during that day in your relationships, there’s a chance that cuddling your pillow at night is a vessel for letting your tender heart show.

Even if letting that tenderness out during the day and with the people you love feels like a loss of control, experts like marriage counselor Barton Goldsmith argue that it’s actually what bonds couples and crafts security in a relationship. So, don’t be afraid to start bringing that softness into your daily life, beyond the bedroom.

You yearn for physical intimacy on a deeper level than you realize, but this time is often the only place you’re comfortable enough to embrace it, even if it’s on an entirely subconscious level. But if you’re capable of tapping into it on your own time, there’s space to experiment with others.

5. You’re very empathetic

very empathetic man smiling and lying in bed New Africa | Shutterstock

According to psychiatry professor Helen Riess, empathy is often manifested through practices and small acts of “attunement” like hugging, actively listening, or making eye contact with someone intentionally.

If you’re an incredibly empathetic person, chances are you offer that same kind of practice with yourself, finding space for connection and appreciation even if it’s before you fall asleep at night. If you always cuddle with a pillow when you fall asleep, it probably means these things about you.

6. You’re uncomfortable with intimacy

woman who's uncomfortable with intimacy laying in bed AlexandrMusuc | Shutterstock

Even if you struggle with intimacy, connection, and vulnerability in other aspects of your life, cuddling with your pillow and having a moment of positive self-touch actually argues that you’re more capable of them than you give yourself credit for.

It’s obviously incredibly hard to open up for many people, but with practice and intention — building trust and creating a foundation of respect with others — you can do it.

Of course, most people who struggle with intimacy aren’t emotionally numb or cold people. They still crave closeness and connection in their lives, hence finding small, unsuspecting behaviors like hugging a pillow to partially fulfill their inner yearning.

7. You’re a ‘giver’ in relationships

giving man laying on the couch AndreaMonica | Shutterstock

Relationships need to be a two-way street, where both partners aren’t just being emotionally supported, but are also having their nuanced needs met — whether it’s physical closeness, general intimacy, or a listening ear. If someone’s not being given the same kind of support and effort they offer others, there’s a chance they’ll use other self-soothing behaviors to cope.

If you always cuddle a pillow when you fall asleep, it probably means these things about you. You’re a “giver” in your relationships, and while it might be the kind of role you find enjoyable in most aspects of life, you’re also deserving of that same attention.

8. You value rituals and routine

woman who values rituals and routine lying in bed alone Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock

Bedtime routines might seem like a childlike fallacy if you don’t have one, but they’re more powerful than you might believe. Sleep and rest often lie at the heart of our whole lives, from productivity at work to the well-being of our relationships, and even the sanity of our mental health. Bedtime routines help to safeguard the rest we need and ensure that we’re getting the most restful sleep we can.

On one hand, there are poor bedtime routines and rituals like scrolling through your phone from bed or taking melatonin, which often provoke more insomnia and poor sleep. But there are also good rituals, like stretching, disconnecting from phones, and even cuddling a pillow.

It’s a routine and ritual that people who do them appreciate and prioritize, not just because it’s soothing, but because it’s their brain’s cue to unwind and prepare the body for rest.

9. You crave comfort

woman cuddled up on pillow craving comfort fizkes | Shutterstock

According to a PLOS One study, hugging inanimate objects like a pillow at night often relieves stress by provoking comfort. It mimics the feeling of cuddling with another person and provides a safe space for connection, even for people who may struggle with a similar kind of intimacy in their actual relationships.

If you always cuddle a pillow when you fall asleep, it probably means something about you. You crave comfort and stability, and you’re often the person who offers them to yourself at night.

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10. You’re missing someone

woman laying in bed missing someone in her life Inside Creative House | Shutterstock

If you have a different sleep schedule from your partner, are in a long-distance relationship, or maybe are missing someone you can’t spend time with, hugging a pillow at night can often help ease some of that inner turmoil.

If you always cuddle with a pillow when you fall asleep, it could help to ease that heartache and make you feel a little closer to that person, even when they’re away.

11. You value stability in your connections

man who values stability in connections sleeping in bed Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

If you always cuddle a pillow when you fall asleep, it probably means that you value stability and security in your connections. Hugging your pillow is simply a mirror of the stability that you crave in relationships and the security that you need in connections to feel empowered.

Even if you’re only providing it for yourself at night, mimicking the feeling of being help by another person, you’re creating a safe space to self-soothe and boost confidence in your ability to show up for yourself, night after night.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.