If A Husband Starts Spending Time On These 11 Things, His Marriage Is In Trouble
Consider his behavior a warning sign.
Lipik Stock Media | Shutterstock The beginning of marriage often feels like a dream. So lost in the bliss of promises and new beginnings, many couples get married without properly preparing for just how tricky marriage can get. But as most married couples know, being married for years isn't exactly a walk in the park. Uncomfortable as it may be, there might be moments in which they may even want to call it quits.
Couples wondering where they stand need to look at their partner's behavior. Because whether it's being with friends more often, obsessing over his appearance or putting his work first, if a husband starts spending time on these things, his marriage is in trouble. It might not feel that way at first, but trouble in paradise is never as obvious as people think.
If a husband starts spending time on these 11 things, his marriage is in trouble
1. Using his phone as a distraction
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Many couples find that phones are a point of contention in their relationship. Whether it's scrolling for hours on end, watching TikTok videos non-stop, or chatting with strangers on Reddit, a majority of people use their phones a bit too much. And if a husband is doing just that, it indicates trouble in his marriage.
The average person spends 5 hours and 16 minutes per day on their phone, according to a report from Harmony Healthcare IT. But any healthy couple knows that spending time together is the basis of a good marriage. So, if he's neglecting his marriage in favor of his phone, and if a conversation about his usage doesn't work, it can be a sign the marriage is on the rocks.
2. Choosing work over his home life
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If a husband starts spending time on his work life instead of his home life, his marriage is in trouble. And while some people are just hard workers, without a proper balance, things can quickly turn sideways.
Whether it's his intention or not, avoiding his wife by getting some peace at work isn't normal. Even if men pretend that it's fine, there's something deeply troubling and problematic about hating being around a partner.
But whether a man wants to fix it or not is up to him. After all, a wife isn't a mind reader, and she isn't always going to know how a man feels. Rather than avoiding home, couples should sit down and communicate how they're feeling. As hard as it may be, only through discussion will they keep their marriage from falling apart.
3. Hanging out with friends all the time
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Everyone wants to hang out with their friends, especially for a night out, but when a husband starts spending more time with his friends than with his wife, there's a big problem.
As a study from Psychological Science explained, close relationships "help buffer the effects of stress on the body and brain," showing just how important it is to have these bonds and connections. And while friendships are incredible to have, there's a need for balance.
As great as it may feel to be with friends, a marriage should take a front seat. That doesn't mean dismissing friends, but even if it's only hanging out once a week, it might keep his marriage from falling apart.
4. Obsessing over his appearance
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There's nothing wrong with wanting to look nice because, despite what people think, looking nice is for you, not someone else. From washing his hair and styling it to wearing dressy clothes, how a man dresses can instantly make their mood brighter. But if he's obsessing over his appearance, it can spell trouble for his marriage.
It's great to want to feel confident, but pushing one's body to the extreme or being overly critical isn't a good thing. It isn't just an unhealthy obsession, it completely damages his self-esteem. So, if a wife notices her husband fretting over his appearance and engaging in unhealthy behavior, she should talk to him. After all, mental health is the most important thing.
5. Emotionally investing in someone else
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If a husband starts spending time with another person and investing in them emotionally, his marriage is in trouble. It's unfortunate, but cheating is quite common. According to the Survey Center for American Life, 46% of women and 34% of men report that a partner or spouse has cheated on them. And while some men might not consider emotional connection to count as cheating, their wives might have something different to say.
From texting other women to being there for them constantly, all of these things can be a slippery slope. Now, does that mean it's the end of their marriage? Perhaps, but if husbands are finding themselves emotionally investing too much into someone else, it's up to them to put a stop to it; otherwise, they should say goodbye to their marriage.
6. Playing video games for extended periods of time
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While it's fun to relax and unwind with video games, it's not normal to spend hours on end every single day doing so. Again, there's a huge need for balance. Whether it's saving it for the weekend or only going on one hour per day, having boundaries is crucial.
After all, their marriage should come first, no matter what. So, while it's okay to play video games, which have benefits of their own, be sure to keep play time short. Even if it sucks at first, connecting with his wife should be a man's top priority.
7. Constantly traveling
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Everyone wants to go out and have fun. After spending the entire week focused on work, chores, and other responsibilities, husbands want to relax. But if he begins traveling a lot and spending all his time doing that, his marriage is in trouble.
Traveling on a scheduled trip is one thing, but always traveling without his partner is another. Like it or not, partners need to spend time with each other. Whether it's watching TV on the couch, going on dates, or taking a vacation, there's a huge need for bonding.
According to couples therapist Kyle Benson, couples need to spend six hours a week on average for a better relationship. So, while he might want to go solo on vacation, make sure those trips aren't happening too often; otherwise, she might feel neglected, putting their marriage in jeopardy.
8. Investing in the past instead of focusing on the future
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It's all too easy to find oneself focused on the past from time to time. After spending years with someone, it's normal to walk by a store and remember a funny moment or think a little too long about good memories. But if a husband is spending all his time on the past and neglecting a future with his wife, it's not a good sign.
Focusing on the past too much might lead to a little frustration. From husbands being resentful that their partner changed to wishing they could experience that excitement they once had, they may get caught up in the details and forget to focus on the present.
9. Sleeping
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If a husband starts spending too much time sleeping, his marriage is in trouble. Yes, life is exhausting, and work can feel draining, but always sleeping isn't a good thing. Whether he feels unsupported or avoids his wives, oversleeping may not look like a bad thing at first. However, according to a 2021 study, people who sleep more than 10 hours per night are at greater risk of death and other effects.
In the end, communication is key. If men find themselves feeling exhausted and needing help mentally, it's crucial to talk to their wives. Remember: a wife can't help her husband unless he opens up first. Even if it's scary, if they don't want their marriage to end, prioritize discussing differences.
10. Being consumed by house projects
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There's nothing more exciting than doing a complete renovation project. Whether it's painting the walls or building furniture, decorating a home can make everyone feel a little bit lighter. Unfortunately, if a husband is working on projects all the time, it spells trouble.
It's okay to be busy or to focus on something else besides marriage, but being consumed is a different story. It could be hours spent in the yard or garage, but being consumed by anything for long periods of time isn't healthy.
11. Prioritizing 'alone time'
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If a husband starts spending time by himself, prioritizing his alone time, his marriage is in trouble. Whether it's isolating himself from his marriage or his family, human beings need one another to thrive. And according to a study published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, human beings are wired to connect, as it greatly impacts our health.
Just because this is the case, it doesn't mean men will suddenly socialize and ditch self-isolation. It's unfortunate, but many men are taught to ignore their needs or feelings in favor of keeping the peace. But if keeping the peace means destroying their marriage, maybe discussing their feelings isn't such a bad idea.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
