11 Things Truly Classy People Stop Caring About After A Certain Age
Classy people can't be bothered keeping up with these things.
fizkes | Shutterstock While perceptions of classiness and general likability are often associated on a superficial level with someone's attractiveness, occupation, or wealth, like a study from Europe's Journal of Psychology suggests, the characteristics of a truly classy person are far more nuanced. From self-awareness, to emotional intelligence and, most importantly, empathy, classiness is more about how you treat yourself and others than the money in your pocket or the clothes you wear.
In fact, many of the things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age are reflective of their depth and these traits. They're not worried about impressing others or seeking validation, because their lives are more deeply fulfilled and crafted.
Here are 11 things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age
1. Fitting in
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Many people have an innate sense of yearning for belonging and community in their lives, but seeking that shared feeling looks different for everyone — and it isn't always healthy. For example, spending far too much time scrolling social media or overspending to keep up with trends may give people a fleeting sense of connection with others, but at the end of the day, their self-esteem struggles and the consequences of their actions remain.
That's part of the reason why "fitting in" with the crowd is one of the things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age. They're not interested in appealing to anyone but themselves, so when they do make a connection or form a relationship with someone, it's usually someone that sees their genuine and authentic self.
2. Buying status symbols
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Purchasing status symbols — things like designer clothes, luxury cars, and vacation time, depending on your demographic — is all about signalling wealth to other people, according to a study from Games and Economic Behavior. While this behavior isn't always an act of "flaunting wealth" from an egotistical perspective, it can be a means of other people to misguidedly seek belonging, connection, and praise from others.
Even wealthy people that have the freedom to purchase every status symbol aren't necessarily classy, because truly classy people know that personal fulfillment and enrichment comes from inside, not trying to seek validation from others on the basis of material possessions.
3. Curating an aesthetic in every aspect of life
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From their own personal style, to their home decor, and even the way they present themselves on social media, curating a vibe and aesthetic for other people to admire is one of the things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age.
Of course, experimenting with aesthetics and creative pursuits like crafting social media feeds can be healthy — research, like a 2023 study, argues they're pivotal for self-awareness and identity development — but when they're framed in the context of validation from others, they shift.
Classy people prefer to engage in hobbies, passions, and artistic pursuits that add value to their own personal lives and feel internally fulfilling, not seek validation and instant gratification from strangers online and fake friends in their lives.
4. Being right in arguments
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True, honest communication in healthy relationships isn't about "winning" or being "right," but about actively listening, expressing emotions, and leaning into the discomfort of true vulnerability. Arguments can be healthy in these situations, giving people the chance to express their concerns and practice conflict-resolution, but when they're inherently competitive and egotistical, they're not crafting a safe space.
That's exactly why truly classy people aren't seeking out petty arguments, seeking attention amid tension, and trying to win arguments with their loved ones and peers — these are some of the things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age.
5. Gossiping
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According to a study from Personality and Individual Differences, younger people are far more willing to gossip and spread rumors than their older peers, largely because competition and seeking validation are still a large part of their worlds.
Younger people, still experimenting and solidifying their personal identities and sense of self, often engage in these passive and sometimes negative behaviors to feel more secure, but older classy people — self-assured and aware — don't need to.
They're internally assured and confident, so they don't feel pressure to speak negatively about other people to engage in gossipy behaviors to feign a misguided sense of connection and community with others.
6. Being liked by everyone
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While it's true that general attitudes around age and ageism in institutions like the workplace can negatively affect older individuals, according to a study from Gerontology and Geriatric Medicine, truly classy people aren't necessarily worried about fitting in or being liked by everyone.
Generally, self-esteem and confidence rises with age, especially for self-assured and classy individuals that make an effort to personally grow and internally gratify themselves outside the scope of other people's opinions and validation.
7. Overexplaining
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According to psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, many people who overexplain are dealing with internal emotional turmoil of some kind — whether it's insecurity, low self-esteem, a toxic relationship, or unresolved trauma. They feel pulled toward overexplaining and "justifying" their behavior, even when they don't necessarily need to.
It's one of the things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age, because they're in their most authentic identity. They don't need other people's acceptance and approval, so they don't feel called to justify their behavior to anyone but themselves.
8. Climbing the corporate ladder
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Many confident, resilient, and self-assured people have likely already achieved some level of career success as they've aged, especially if it's been their top priority or a main goal. However, climbing the corporate ladder and appeasing other people at work is one of the things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age.
Focused on their own internal well-being, mental health, and physical sustainability, they're more concerned with preventing burnout and fatigue in their personal lives than anything. They want to have the space, energy, and joy to pursue hobbies, connections, and interests in their personal lives, and if they're overworking themselves constantly on the job, they won't have the freedom to.
9. Being afraid to say 'no'
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Saying "no" is one of the behaviors that truly classy people are not afraid of in their personal and professional lives. They know what they need, spend time listening to themselves, and express their concerns with boundaries and honest communication. They're not concerned with potentially offending other people or distancing them by simply being themselves and expressing needs.
Even though it seems like a self-assured and focused approach to setting boundaries, a study from EMBO Reports also argues that saying "no" affords other people an opportunity — it's an action that both demonstrates maturity and a willingness to help other people.
10. Perfection
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According to a study from the Journal of Counseling Psychology, perfectionism often sparks stress, decreases life satisfaction, and promotes negative mood changes of worry and anxiety, especially as people age. Unrealistic expectations and a constant state of anxiety isn't healthy, and only encourages people to fall victim to a cycle of disappointment and low self-esteem.
However, luckily for older individuals, perfectionism seems to become less prevalent with age — largely because of growths in self-esteem and self-assuredness. Especially for classy people, who have an extra capacity with their emotional intelligence, perfectionist standards and mentalities are some of the things they stop caring about after a certain age.
11. Comparing themselves to others
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Comparison culture is one of the things truly classy people stop caring about after a certain age, because they're self-assured enough to know that constant and consistent comparisons are toxic at their core. Of course, subtle comparisons that spark personal growth and motivation don't fall under this category, but unrealistic standards and competition does.
When someone is constantly comparing themselves to just a perfected fragment of someone's identity — like their presence online — or shaming themselves for not being more like someone else, they're overlooking the benefits and strengths of their own authenticity.
However, classy people make an intentional effort to lean on and lead with this authenticity, crafting a life and routine that's internally gratifying and that attracts people who love them for them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
