12 Things Classy People Would Never Say Out Loud But Always Think
Just because they hold themselves to high standards doesn't mean they don't have petty thoughts.
Olena Yakobchuk | Shutterstock In life, most people do their best to keep things classy, whether it's with their annoying co-worker, needy romantic partner, or selfish best friend. These people remain in charge of themselves, no matter what people throw their way or the situations in which they find themselves. But even though they have high standards, there are still certain things classy people would never say out loud but always think, keeping their judgments secret.
Whether they'd admit it or not, classy people do judge others. After all, they're still human beings. From a person's outfit choices, who they're dating, or the things they brag about, classy people don't share their rude or unhinged thoughts. But if they were being truthful for a day, the words they'd speak would be pretty damaging to those around them.
Here are 12 things classy people would never say out loud but always think
1. 'They're so weird'
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Even the classiest people know when someone is being odd. They might not say anything out of respect, but when someone's behavior is strange, they find themselves judging from time to time. From not understanding social cues to being straight-up rude, a first impression will stick with them for a while.
According to a study published in Social Cognition, it's much harder to reverse a bad first impression than it is to make an initial good first impression. So, if someone is being classified as strange by a classy person, chances are their first impression isn't going all that great, causing them to be stuck with this label for a long time.
2. 'Please stop talking'
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Everyone's been in a situation before where they're with someone who is blabbing on and on about the same topic. While it might be tempting to cut them off, one of the things classy people would never say out loud but always think is for the other person to stop talking.
Classy people were taught that how they treat others matters, causing them to hesitate before rudely interrupting someone mid-sentence. On the outside, it might seem easier to shut someone down and be upfront. However, many people struggle with people-pleasing tendencies.
According to a survey from YouGov, 48% of people identify as people-pleasers. With this in mind, it's no wonder that many classy people struggle to say what's on their minds. While they'd love nothing more than telling someone to stop talking, social etiquette often demands subtlety.
3. 'I can't wait until I leave'
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Classy people might be the standard of poise and grace, but they also get tired of socializing from time to time. From drawn-out social gatherings to exhausting in-laws, they are still human beings who need to recharge after their social battery runs out.
Even if they're burned out from socializing and want to leave, there's a time and place for everything. Rudely leaving isn't the answer, but staying a long time before politely saying goodbye could be an alternative. Either way, it's important to approach these matters with respect.
According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, being disrespected leads to greater aggression than being disliked. So, even if they're being respectful, it doesn't mean they aren't secretly annoyed and fed up.
4. 'Nobody cares'
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While they might show genuine interest in what someone has to say, one of the snarky things classy people would never say out loud but always think is that nobody really cares. Just because they're showing genuine interest doesn't mean their inside thoughts aren't focused on their discomfort.
Call them whatever you want, but classy people don't like to entertain negativity as they understand the impact on their mental well-being. And according to the University of Georgia, negative interactions with friends are associated with a rise in blood pressure and overall lower self-esteem.
Even if they grin and bear it, deep down inside, if the conversation is becoming negative or pointless, a classy person with subtlety will find a way to shift things, for their own sake.
5. 'Did they even try?'
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As much as people would like to say that appearance doesn't matter, it does. Aside from making a good first impression, society is incredibly judgmental of how people look. For classy people, they aren't trying to be judgmental, but sometimes those intrusive thoughts win and they may find themselves looking up and down in dismay.
As much as they'd like to believe that what people wear or how they look doesn't matter, according to a study published in Nature Human Behaviour, people base someone's competency partially on how they're dressed. So, even if a classy person seems down to earth, they're just like everyone else.
6. 'I'm too old for this'
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Gossiping may have been fun once upon a time, but after a certain age, the things they once found fun and exhilarating no longer do anything. It's not like they're trying to be better than others, but at some point the negativity has to stop. If not for their own mental health, then for their physical health.
According to family physician Hannah S. Packiam, the main cause of this spiral has to do with negative thoughts. As she explained, these negative thoughts can impact people's health by raising their blood pressure and making it harder to recover from illnesses. But in typical fashion, classy people will grin and nod while looking for a way out.
7. 'This conversation is going nowhere'
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The worst thing about being in a disagreement, discussion, or full-blown argument is often the repeated phrases. Whether it's repeating the game plan or how they're feeling, it can be tiresome to run around in circles, going nowhere.
They might not show it, but classy people are easily fed up with nonsense. Since being classy often requires being disciplined, these individuals aren't always able to say what's on their minds.
This isn't great, as not being upfront and honest can lead to misunderstandings, which, according to a 2022 study, predicted higher stress, lower life satisfaction and motivation. While classy people are always polite, deep down inside, their patience is likely running thin.
8. 'That's not how that works'
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Classy people are some of the most intelligent people. Maybe it's because they care about their public perception, but from politics to history, they're well-versed in it all. Unfortunately for them, this comes with a drawback, as they are often thinking "That's not how that works" when someone challenges facts.
Highly intelligent people often have small friend groups. And according to licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White, "The smartest folks report the greatest life satisfaction when they are free to spend time on their own, doing whatever their brilliant minds are driving them to do."
With this in mind, it's no shock that classy people would be highly critical. They can't help but give a side eye to people who don't know the basics, but will still keep their disapproval hidden.
9. 'They don't know what they're talking about'
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One of the more obvious things classy people would never say out loud but always think is how a person speaking to them doesn't really know what they're talking about. Most classy people want nothing more than to gleefully correct someone, but because of their overly cautious personality, they settle for a raised eyebrow and shady thoughts.
BUt this isn't necessarily a bad thing, as pointing out someone's lie or lack of intelligence might just make the situation worse. According to instructor of psychiatry Joseph A. Shrand, "When we disrespect someone, we contribute to conflict."
10. 'I don't have the energy for this right now'
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There's no worse feeling than wasting energy on something or someone who is unappreciative. But that is exactly what most people do as they give excuse after excuse for someone's rude behavior and actions. Classy people know how to spot someone who is draining, and through their great social skills they navigate those situations without wasting too much of their breath.
These people can spot negativity right away, as knowing how to identify this energy is essential to staying classy. And the people you surround yourself with can either make or break you, which is why classy people choose their friends wisely.
Even if it cuts their friend group in half, classy people would rather remove those who are wasting their energy, and welcome those who are cultivating an environment where both parties can thrive.
11. 'You're not fooling anyone'
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It seems that everyone wants to show off, whether it's flexing or bragging. Some people are so obsessed with cultivating an image that they might even exaggerate to make the point. But classy people are great at sniffing out when someone is lying to them.
Maybe it's their great intuition or their high intelligence, but they know when someone is playing things up or straight-up lying. However, rather than admit it, they keep the information to themselves. Sure, they could call them out for their behavior, but in true classy fashion, they won't do that.
12. 'Do they even hear themselves right now?'
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The number of people who say things without thinking things through is disappointing. But from terrible social media posts to interviews, if there's one thing people have, it's audacity. Classy people simply don't put up with that either.
They hide their shocked expressions and grin through it all before politely excusing themselves. Rather than waste their breath and time on someone who doesn't care about how they appear to others, they'd much rather keep their opinions to themselves, avoiding drama in the long run.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
