11 Things Working Class People Notice Instantly About Spoiled Children
Parents can teach their kids entitlement without even realizing it.
Andrii Iemelianenko | Shutterstock Behaviors that are typically associated with "spoiled" children, like an aura of self-centeredness and entitlement, are generally misunderstood in family dynamics, according to a study from the journal Pediatrics. They're not usually inherent traits of characteristics that children have from birth, but rather more nuanced reactions and responses to childhood experiences, parent-child relationships, and social interactions at home.
For example, entitlement often comes from parental failings — like lacking emotional intelligence or having vague rules at home — or a child's reactions to chronic stress at home. Regardless of where they stem from, there are certain things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children. While income and economic status usually don't have everything to do with a spoiled child, the family dynamics and upbringing gap between classes can have specific influences on how they're raised and the coping mechanisms they adopt.
Here are 11 things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children
1. They're entitled
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Many working class people live in dual-income households where both parents go to work, leaving their kids to navigate daily life, conflict-resolution, and play on their own terms. Of course, at a certain age, they're left to fend for themselves when their parents aren't around — teaching them a baseline level of autonomy and independence that kids with overbearing parents don't always have access to.
According to psychology lecturer Ana Aznar, overbearing and ultra-protective parents can sabotage their children's development, encouraging them to develop an entitled attitude by constantly solving their problems, fixing their failures, and thinking on their behalf. When parents don't let their kids fail or experiment, they become codependent, expecting their parents and others to do everything for them.
It's one of the things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children, because when they're parenting their own kids, they inadvertently push them to make mistakes, learn, and practice independence. They don't expect anything from anyone, because they are taught to solve their own problems and communicate when they need help.
2. They never say 'please' and 'thank you'
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According to a study from Social Psychology Quarterly, the prevalence of words like "please" and phrases like "thank you" are declining in usage across age demographics. So, while it may not simply be a trend amongst spoiled children to avoid expressing gratitude and using basic manners, it's one of the first things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children.
Of course, experts from Harvard Health argue that expressing gratitude and saying "thank you" can have profound impacts on personal well-being and relationships — promoting a better mood, a happier attitude, and a generally better baseline of health. However, spoiled children are used to getting what they want, regardless of what they say or how they act, so they don't feel pressured to use manners.
It's a cycle of misbehavior and entitlement that their parents often perpetuate — continuing to reward them, even when they're being mean, rude, or misbehaved.
3. They're only helpful when people are watching
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Similar to empathy and responsibility, integrity is something that children learn early in life. Whether it's watching their parents' modeled behavior, feeling comfortable with making mistakes, or following rules at home, kids learn integrity and self-awareness from their upbringing.
It's also one of the things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children, because they tend to blame-shift and avoid taking responsibility for personal actions. They not only act without integrity, they push other people to bear the physical and emotional burdens of their negative behaviors — whether it's their friends, parents, or strangers.
4. They don't accept 'no'
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When parents reward their kids for bad behavior, avoid emotional regulation techniques, and open communication, they teach their kids to expect things without responsibility or gratitude. Spoiled kids don't accept "no" for an answer, because they know regardless of what they say or how they act, their parents will cave and give them what they want.
Even if it's more convenient, engaging in this behavior crafts entitled children that working class parents notice instantly when they're around.
5. They're dependent on their parents
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Whether it's teaching them to do something — rather than thinking through it themselves and using problem-solving skills — regulating their emotions, or solving their struggles for them, many entitled and spoiled children are in codependent relationships with their parents.
They not only expect their parents to consistently put their own needs and well-being to the side for their comfort, they weaponize their love and relationship to get what they want.
Of course, in some cases, young children learn this transactional behavior and entitlement from their parents, especially in situations and conversations where their behaviors are reinforced or mirrored. It's one of the things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children, because they not only weaponize the kinds of things about relationships that should be conditional, but feel confident enough to repeatedly act entitled around their family.
6. They have a weak work ethic
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Many spoiled and entitled children who have spent their lives simply getting and hearing what they want from their parents without having to "work for it" struggle to develop a strong work ethic. In adulthood, that lack of work ethic further amplifies their codependent relationship with their parents — they lean on the support and work ethic of their parents when they struggle with productivity or stability later in life.
Of course, for working class parents, who not only model a strong work ethic for their kids but instill similar values in their family, it's one of the first things they notice instantly about spoiled children.
7. They have unrealistic expectations for life
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One of the things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children is their unrealistic expectations about life. Their parents have cultivated an environment where they get what they want without any kind of effort or expectation, negatively affecting their perspective of truly balanced relationships, social interactions, and conversations.
According to experts from the University of Delaware, kids develop self-esteem from their parents modeled behavior, but also through realistic expectations at home. So, it's not just setting them apart socially and in relationships to struggle with realistic expectations, they also tend to deal with the emotional turmoil of low self-esteem and self-worth.
8. They lack social skills
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Whether it's unrealistic expectations at home, low self-esteem, or their entitlement, spoiled children generally struggle with social skills in their conversations and interactions. They often aren't given the chance to practice strong social skills like taking accountability or getting out of their comfort zone early in life, because their parents take on those situations for them.
They tend to lack social skills and emotional intelligence later in life because they're not given the opportunity to learn in the same way kids from working class households do.
9. They don't understand the value of a dollar
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Whether they're spoiled financially by their parents or simply excluded from conversations about money in general, a lack of basic financial literacy and understanding are some of the things working class people notice instantly about spoiled children.
Of course, this can manifest itself in many different ways — from kids spending on parents' credit cards, to expecting gifts and treats all of the time, and even struggling later in life to achieve financial comfort. They don't understand the value of a dollar because they've never had to work for it or worry about it.
10. They can't take accountability
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Even if it's something as simple and innocent as laughing at themselves, like a study from Personality and Individual Differences argues is healthy, many spoiled children aren't equipped with the tools to navigate making mistakes or taking accountability for their actions.
Their parents have created an environment where they're never "in the wrong," so they feel pressured to constantly defend themselves and cultivate a mindset where mistakes equate to failure, rather than an opportunity to learn.
Parents of spoiled children solve all of their problems for them and try to "protect" them from the discomfort of making a mistake — the opposite of what working class parents generally do, teaching their kids how to be independent problem-solvers — in ways that sabotage their growth.
11. They're not kind
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According to a study from the journal Emotion, people who grow up in low-income and working class families generally learn to lead with empathy from a young age. They understand the struggle of economic insecurity and daily struggles more than a privileged person from an affluent upbringing, so they're willing to offer help to others.
Spoiled children are taught to look inward and are often celebrated for their self-centered habits — making it a struggle for them to prioritize other people and offering a helping hand, especially if they're not getting anything in return.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
