Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Telling Her Partner's Family They Can't Stay At Her Home Because Of Her 'Reactive' Dog
She was doing what was best for her pup, but was she being unfair toward her partner's family?
Gartmanart / Shutterstock A woman was left in an uncomfortable position after her partner informed her that their family would be coming over to stay at their house for a couple of nights to attend a dance competition.
The woman has a dog who she describes as “reactive” and has a difficult time adjusting to new people in her space.
The woman was ultimately forced to choose between her dog and her partner’s family’s comfort, and now she is wondering if she made a fair decision.
The woman told her partner’s family they couldn’t stay at her home since her dog would become distressed by strangers.
Sharing her predicament to the subreddit, r/reactivedogs, the woman sought advice from other users regarding her situation. The 22-year-old revealed that she and her 21-year-old partner have been dating for two-and-a-half years and live in a small house together.
The woman’s dog, who over time became her partner’s dog as well, also lives with them. The woman rescued the dog when she was four-and-a-half months old, and has been her “absolute priority” since day one.
She added that her dog struggles with behavioral issues and meeting new people.
“She doesn't like guests at the house unless she knows them well. She has gone to numerous vets and sees a behaviorist regularly,” the woman wrote. “I am doing everything in my power to make things safe and calm for her and everyone around her.”
One day, the woman’s partner informed her that their family would be coming into town for a high school competition and would be staying at their house. She considered staying at her own mother’s house with her dog so she wouldn’t be upset by the new people in her home; however, her mother would be having surgery during that particular time.
Her mother also had dogs that would not get along with her own dog. “My mom has dogs that are dog-reactive, so it is too much to bring my dog at this time,” the woman wrote. “There is nobody else I can bring my dog to stay with.”
Later, the woman’s partner told her that her family would be bringing two other guests along with them who were participating in the contest. At this point, she was growing concerned about the living accommodations and what she should do about her dog.
Photo: oneinchpunch / Shutterstock
“I explained how I have asked for them to please not bring strangers, that I have nowhere else to take my dog right now, and that we don’t have enough room here anyway,” she wrote. “It would be one thing for the girls to come and slowly be introduced to her, but with my partner’s family coming too, my dog would be very overwhelmed.”
The woman’s partner's family told them they had nowhere else to stay besides the house, and refused to consider going elsewhere when her partner suggested the idea. They also extended their stay to two nights instead of one.
Thankfully, the woman’s mother booked a pet-friendly hotel for her daughter and dog to stay at while her partner’s family was in town. “I have been to this hotel before and we would kind of have our own area. We felt it would be safer than the situation at the house,” she shared.
Unfortunately, their first night at the hotel quickly turned into a nightmare, as her dog was stressed in the new environment.
“During the night, (heavy) doors kept opening and closing. Noises outside the front doors are a big trigger for her. She was growling and barking throughout the night,” the woman revealed. “We both didn’t get any sleep.”
After the woman deemed the hotel setting unsafe for her dog, who became so upset she began frothing at the mouth, she decided to take the dog home to decompress while her partner and their family were at the contest.
“I texted that I was bringing my dog back to calm down,” she wrote. “I said their family would probably need to go home after the contest tonight or stay in the empty room but that my dog absolutely needed her space back, at least for a bit.”
However, the woman’s partner called her to let her know that their family would be coming back to the house after the contest so that they could change into their swimsuits before swimming. Although, the woman refused to allow that to happen.
“I said if any of them go into my dog’s space right now, I would hurt them before she could,” the woman claimed, admitting which she later felt “awful” about.
The woman’s partner’s family wound up grabbing the rest of their belongings from the house while the woman drove around the area with her dog and stayed at a hotel for their last night.
“My partner apologized for not realizing my dog was that triggered. I also apologized for the situation and for what I said,” the woman wrote. She then asked if she behaved unreasonably toward her partner’s family and if she was wrong for asking them to leave.
Some Redditors sided with the woman and supported her decision, saying it was best for the sake of her dog’s safety and comfort.
“There are absolutely hotels the lot of them could have stayed at... this could have proven deadly for your dog if it attacked someone,” one user commented.
“Their family may never truly understand, but for their own safety, they cannot be around your dog without proper introductions,” another user shared.
However, other users encouraged the woman to get her dog under control since she was appearing to let the animal "run her life."
“You’re letting this dog run your entire life. That’s not sustainable. You need to figure out a better routine for your family (partner and pup) going forward,” one user pointed out.
“I understand about wanting to do what's best for her, but you could have avoided this situation or at least mitigated the stress for you and your animal by getting some kind of sedation for the dog in a new place or offering to chip in for a hotel for the family in the first place,” another user wrote.
Other users criticized the woman for threatening to hurt her partner’s family for entering their home in defense of her dog.
Others suggested that the woman take her dog to see a veterinarian and discuss medication options to manage her behavior before it takes too much of a toll on her life and relationship with her partner.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.