You Can Usually Spot Someone Who Grew Up Without Much Money By These 10 Small Habits
Irene Miller | Shutterstock Considering we start to develop mentalities and attitudes about money from an incredibly young age, at least according to a study from the University of Michigan, it's not surprising that people living in an environment where money was scarce carry small habits and behaviors into adulthood. From constantly checking their bank account to being willing to tolerate misbehavior in a stable workplace, these things come from a desire to feel secure.
For people who grew up in poverty, these small habits and attitudes about money craft a lingering "survival" instinct. They're always clinging to a sense of security and struggle to view money as a "safe" topic, even if they have the comfort and freedom around their finances that they didn't have as children. While childhood outcomes living in poverty are incredibly nuanced and interconnected with other social issues, you can usually spot someone who grew up without much money by these small habits.
You can usually spot someone who grew up without much money by these 10 small habits
1. They keep everything just in case
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From broken appliances at home that they might be able to fix to grocery bags, you can usually spot someone who grew up without much money by what they keep. Even if they don't need it, someone who spent their childhood in "scarcity" mode may keep things just for the sake of having them.
It's a way to seek security in their lives, even if they're in a more financially comfortable situation as adults. Even if it's free samples from a hotel, they're intentional about keeping things "just in case" they need them someday.
2. They tolerate misbehavior in their jobs
According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, growing up poor often affects an adult's sense of control. Whether they lean toward impulsiveness with spending to grasp control or opt for frugality for comfort, they try to find small ways to find security in their lives.
Even if that means tolerating misbehavior and disrespect in jobs that feel secure, so they don't have to jeopardize their income or stability in everyday life, they often do. For wealthy people, setting boundaries around disrespect at work can be less of a challenge, as they have the financial freedom to leave jobs without a back-up plan when they want to.
3. They downplay their money struggles
At any age, spending and having money can influence social relationships and belonging. We buy into trends for a sense of community and belonging, so it's not surprising that avoiding conversations about money to feel a sense of security is common amongst adults who have spent their childhoods in poverty.
They've spent a lot of their life comparing their situation to others and realizing their position with money only because of their lack in the face of friends with more. So, it's not surprising that they downplay money struggles today for a sense of control when they want to belong. If they haven't made peace with their financial circumstances, seeking control can often manifest in these small habits and behaviors.
4. They check their bank account before spending
Many adults who grew up in poverty are used to living "on the edge" when it comes to money. From developing a scarcity mindset around money to making sacrifices to afford basic necessities, they've learned to adopt certain behaviors that bring them a sense of security.
For some, that means checking their bank account before making any purchase. They're in line at the grocery store, double-checking their bank account, even if they have the financial security today that they yearned for as a kid.
5. They express guilt about spending on themselves
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You can usually spot someone who grew up without much money if they often express guilt about spending money on themselves. They're always giving to others and justifying saving over spending, even at their own expense.
According to psychology researcher Matt Johnson, this guilt is part of the reason why low-income people tend to be more generous — they feel shame about spending money on themselves, so they tend to give away more to others as a means of coping. Of course, shame and guilt are nuanced emotions with complex manifestations, but they can follow adults later in life in small ways.
6. They get stressed around money conversations
People who associate money with stress, anxiety, and uncertainty often find themselves developing a natural stress response when financial conversations pop up. Money isn't exciting or empowering for them, but rather a burden — even if they have the money to take care of themselves as an adult — so steering clear of conversations about it is second nature.
Unfortunately, these conversations about money with people they trust are actually what relieves some of their constant anxiety and stress about finances, according to a study from the Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes. So, even if, growing up, money conversations were stressful and scary, as adults, with the right intention, they can be healing.
7. They avoid debt
Many families struggling with debt don't realize the adverse outcomes sparked for their kids, from less parental involvement to emotional turmoil. Nearly 50% of people with debt also struggle with a mental illness, with many also experiencing strains in their relationships, so it's not surprising that a fear of debt, credit cards, and loans was intrinsically linked to personal emotions for kids.
That's why you can casually spot someone who grew up without much money by these small habits — if they have the power to, they avoid taking on debt, even healthily, at all costs.
8. They're incredibly resourceful
Whether it's learning to fix something instead of replacing it at home or being crafty with stretching meals, you can usually spot someone who grew up without much money by their small, resourceful habits. They don't immediately rely on their money as a crutch — in fact, they do everything in their power, even at the expense of personal well-being and time, to avoid spending anything when they can fix it themselves.
While a lack of resources at home for kids in low-income households may negatively impact their lives, if they learn a layer of resourcefulness from this lack, instead of survivalism or low self-worth, they can actually outperform their peers later in life.
9. They struggle to accept help
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According to psychology researcher Paul Piff, people living in poverty are more generous than their wealthy counterparts, and often give more of their average incomes to others compared to the rich. They know what it's like to struggle, so they're not afraid to go out of their way to help their neighbors and communities.
Even if they're more generous with others, many people who grew up poor struggle with accepting help. They've been forced into a survival mindset where independence is a coping mechanism and a means of controlling their routines.
10. They don't go out often
Whether it's truly a decision to save money or a response to their need for security, you can usually spot someone who grew up without much money by their hesitancy to spend on "non-necessities." Whether it's ordering dinner online or going out on the weekends, there's always a level of hesitancy about spending on things that they don't "need."
Of course, conversations they listened to and heard from their parents as kids have stuck with them. Not every person's response to childhood poverty is the same, but these small habits can manifest similarly.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
