Women Who Don't Really Respect Men Tend To Use These 10 Phrases Pretty Frequently
kudla | Shutterstock Especially in the current state of the world, it’s not surprising that women, who often develop more fear-related anxieties than their male counterparts, lump their disrespect and avoidance into “all men.” While not every man is toxic or misogynistic, many women find it easier to protect their safety and well-being by being suspicious of “all” men and building trust from ground zero.
Women who don’t really respect men tend to use certain phrases pretty frequently, and while it might craft a sense of resentment and tension in their interactions, it’s a self-protection mechanism. They’re not turned off from building relationships, trust, or respect with men. Still, they need some kind of reassurance and evidence to “prove” that the worries society and other toxic men have ingrained in their minds aren’t relevant.
Women who don’t really respect men tend to use these 10 phrases pretty frequently
1. ‘You always mess it up’
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Instead of offering grace, expressing their concerns, and setting certain boundaries and standards in their relationships, women who don’t really respect men tend to use phrases like “you always mess it up” to communicate their frustrations. Whether it’s about chores or emotional conversations, they always feel a sense of imbalance and worry that’s hard to cope with and express.
Of course, women shouldn’t have to feel like they’re a “parent” to their partner, but sometimes, practice, open conversations, and grace are necessary to build skills that their male partners haven’t had the chance to build yet.
2. ‘Must be nice not to worry about this’
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Even if they’ve overcome the social norms that encourage them to shut down and run from vulnerability, men still face certain barriers to being fully open and emotional. They worry about and actively feel judged, even when they’re in a safe space, which can make it hard to practice support and connection.
So, even if it seems like they’re not putting in enough effort or trying hard enough to meet expectations in a relationship, they might be battling more than their female partners can see. Of course, every relationship and every man is different, but sometimes, a phrase like “must be nice not to worry about this” can be more disrespectful, misleading, and harmful than it seems.
3. ‘You’re so clueless sometimes’
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Considering women tend to seek out emotional support and balance in their relationships, it’s not surprising that they may start to disrespect a partner who avoids vulnerability or maintains an emotionally cold persona. From “you’re so clueless sometimes” to “I don’t know why I even try,” their frustration transforms quickly into disrespect.
While it might feel passive or harmless in fleeting conversations and moments, a study from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that feeling disrespected can lead to all kinds of personal and social consequences.
From being ostracized to experiencing more aggression, men who end up feeling disrespected in their relationships and by women in their lives are thrown into a spiral of frustration, especially if they don’t have the emotional regulation skills to handle this shame on their own.
4. ‘I’ll just do it myself’
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Many people who adopt hyper-independence in adulthood are coping with unresolved trauma from unmet needs or a lack of control earlier in life. Whether it was childhood trauma or some kind of toxic relationship, some women who don’t really respect men are socialized into the “I’ll just do it myself” mentality without realizing that they’re disrespecting their partners and male peers.
They feel pressured to maintain a sense of control over their lives, because they associate vulnerability and support with fear. They don’t want to “give their power” to someone else, even if it isolates them from healthy connections and healing entirely.
5. ‘It’s fine’
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Men and women, socialized into different roles and held to different standards by society, often express emotions differently. They all experience the same things, from strength to enthusiasm, yet expressing them still comes through the lens of social norms and personal experiences.
Yet, women who don’t really respect men don’t feel safe to express themselves without a filter. They miss out on the open communication and support that truly healthy, balanced relationships offer. Suppressing their feelings when these men are around, they often use phrases like “it’s fine” and “don’t worry about,” which actually come off more passive-aggressively than they might seem.
6. ‘You need to grow up’
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While it’s true that men tend to mature emotionally later than women in their lives, according to a study from Frontiers in Physiology, some women who don’t really respect men cling to this narrative to gaslight the men in their lives into adulthood. Even after they’ve grown into their mature identities and adulthood, they continue to hold them to impossibly high standards.
Of course, one of the reasons why men often need relationships with women is that they offer a safe space to practice vulnerability and emotional expression that they don’t get in other relationships. However, without a safe space to make mistakes, as humans do, and learn how to express themselves without judgment, it can lead to a lot of disrespect, tension, and resentment.
7. ‘You’re so incompetent’
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According to psychologist Shauna H. Springer, the majority of marriages end because of a lack of respect. While everyone needs this dignity to feel safe and valued in their relationships, it’s especially important for men, while women tend to appreciate the emotional intimacy and love that comes from it.
Especially for women who have had bad relationships with men in the past, where their incompetence was always weaponized to avoid balance and support, it’s not surprising that a woman who doesn’t respect men tends to use phrases like “you’re so incompetent.”
When they’re not helpful or supportive, they immediately resort to the belief that it’s intentional and manipulative, avoiding the healthy conversations and expressions of conflict that could easily change thier behaviors.
8. ‘That’s just not a big deal’
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According to a study shared by UCLA Health, partners operating without stress tend to offer similar levels of emotional support to each other in relationships, regardless of gender. However, when stress levels rise, women tend to be more supportive than their male partners. Typically influenced by male stereotypes and stigmas about masculinity, expressing emotions, and asking for help, the priorities for partners are bound to differ, which is why open communication is so important.
However, women who don’t really respect men or their male partners often turn to phrases like “that’s just not a big deal” when things get stressful. They may be more supportive, but they also have their own needs and priorities.
If their husbands and male partners aren’t focusing on what they “deem” necessary, they often resort to judgment, blame, and gaslighting to get their way, even if it’s entirely subconscious. Especially when their disrespect is fueled by past trauma, bad relationships, and a misleading “all men” assumption, it’s hard to make vulnerable space for the men in their lives when things get tough.
9. ‘Don’t mind him’
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Disrespect manifests in different ways for everyone, but for women, it can often be actively dismissing someone’s feelings or belittling them from contributing to conversations and interactions. Women who don’t really respect men may belittle men in their conversations with friends or interject in conversations with a phrase like “don’t mind him” when he’s speaking.
Even if it’s not intended to be entirely malicious and mean, they’re often passively rude in conversations and interactions. Their disrespect may even be embedded in their value system and beliefs, making it hard for them to realize when they’re actively harming men in their lives with these narratives of deceit, harm, and immaturity.
10. ‘You’re all the same’
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While it’s true that many women feel safer adopting the “all men” narrative to avoid being personally taken advantage of, disrespected, or harmed in our current state of the world, painting with broad strokes can often leave the men in their lives feeling invalidated and overlooked.
You can appreciate the “all men” narrative and still maintain healthy relationships with the men in your life, unless you’re relying on “you’re all the same” to dismiss and gaslight a partner, friend, or father when you’re upset. Like every woman is different, so too are all men. Yes, the stereotypes and stigmas they’ve been socialized into adopting are there, but they’re also malleable and willing to change with support and grace.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
