Try Doing These 10 Things In Your Relationship And If You Can Handle Even 5, You're With The Right Person
Dean Drobot | Canva It can be tricky to know if you are in a relationship with the right person, but certain things you do can show if you are. It's vital to know if the relationship is going well to encourage you to keep building a life together. So, a couple who can handle doing most of these things is likely in an extremely healthy relationship with someone mature and fully capable of growing alongside you.
Try doing these 10 things in your relationship, and if you can handle even five, you're with the right person:
1. Have healthy communication
Communication is so important! Be clear and communicate your needs. Do not expect them to read your mind. Yes, you may have a fantasy of them reading your mind and doing exactly what you want without telling them, but that's a sure way to never get what you want!
Sometimes, even hints will go unnoticed and cause frustration. So, be clear and intentional with expressing what you want so you can be happy. When you're happy, it makes a better relationship for both of you!
Research on communication behaviors between couples showed that the way you communicate has a long-lasting effect on relationship satisfaction. Don't try to hide things even if you feel it is for a good reason. That never turns out well. Always be clear and upfront with your partner.
2. Discuss upsets together
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Set a time each week to talk about things your partner did that you loved and things you felt hurt, sad, or angry about. Speak clearly and let them know how you feel. Doing this weekly or even at the end of each day can make a big difference in a relationship.
Always start with the hard stuff and end with what you loved or were happy about. Finish on a positive note. So many times, the other partner has no idea, and telling them makes all the difference in the world!
3. Don't leave things unsaid
Never hang up the phone. Work things out together. You never know when your last moments together will be. So, always try to resolve everything — don't leave it hanging on a bad note.
Psychotherapist Christine Petrik, LCSW, advised, "The truth is that no long-term, lasting relationship can exist without occasional arguments, disagreements, and differences of opinion. You and your partner view the world through two unique sets of ideas and beliefs, so these kinds of discussions are healthy and normal. You must be able to speak with each other about your needs and share your deepest, truest self without worrying that you’ll be hurt for it."
4. Value yourself in the relationship
No one will ever be able to value you if you don't value yourself first. This is so important. Don't allow yourself to be treated less than. If you allow it, it will only get worse. If this happens often, it's time for a big change or to end things.
You teach people how to treat you. So the first time it happens, be very clear that you will not accept it. If you allow it, you're telling that person that it's OK to treat you like that. How can they respect you if you don't respect yourself?
Don't be so afraid of losing someone that you don't stand up for yourself. If you feel that way, it is not the relationship for you. They should respect you, and you shouldn't be afraid to demand that respect.
5. Share ideals
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Talk about the things you value early on in a relationship, and always make sure you are on the same page or can reach a compromise without giving up on yourself. A relationship must have two whole people. If you are giving up yourself for a relationship, it can never be a true relationship.
Research on shared beliefs and relationship stability suggested you need to be sure what's important to you is clear to your partner and vice versa. You should both want each other to be your happiest, most fulfilled selves. Anyone who doesn't want you to be happy will only deplete you and isn't right for you.
6. Think of the bigger picture
Think about how you would feel if this were your last moment on Earth. Did that little fight really matter? Would you really say that snarky comment you just said? Treat your partner like it's your last day every day. Appreciate what you have while you have it, and don't let the little things bring you off course.
You can get so caught up in life sometimes that you lose sight of what really matters. Make a point to always remind yourself of the bigger picture and what really matters.
7. Get uncomfortable
So many people tend to get too comfortable or complacent in a relationship. Don't stop doing the things you did when you were dating. Don't stop doing what attracted you two to each other in the first place.
Getting too comfortable is giving up in a way. Being complacent can cause issues and can lead to more distance between you. Don't just give up, always work on things and keep things fresh and interesting.
Of course, always work on yourself and your personal growth, as well. It's always an ongoing journey; you never reach the end. So always keep working on growing both for yourself and your relationship.
8. Stay true to who you are
It's important not to lose your identity in a relationship. Losing yourself will only damage you and your partner. You both need to be whole beings. Always make time for yourself! If you need to give up who you are for a relationship, it's not the right one for you.
"While it’s common for couples to begin doing everything together, one of the most important elements of succeeding in your relationship is to continue letting your identity shine," explained relationship coach Ravid Yosef. "Feeling lost? Your identity is what keeps your relationship healthy and balanced. Losing yourself can lead to feeling stuck in your relationship and having unfulfilled desires."
9. Speak up without fear
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Holding things in can be one of the most detrimental things in a relationship. You hold it in, and it just builds and builds until it causes a huge issue. Holding things in can also cause mental and physical issues, so it's important to get them out.
If you say how you feel in a calm way right when you feel it, you can save an explosion and big issues down the road. Your partner should always be okay with you being honest and saying how you feel. If not, there is a bigger issue there.
You should always feel like you can be you and say how you feel. If you feel like you can't, look into that and find out why. Yes, sometimes it may make you a little nervous, but a little nervousness is better than a big issue down the line that could even end the relationship.
10. Let go of past grudges
It's important to fully work through past things. If you hold onto the past and keep throwing it in your partner's face, it won't end well. Yes, perhaps some trust may need to be rebuilt, but you need to decide if you can live with it or not.
If you can't work past the issue, it might be time to end the relationship. To move forward, you'll have to decide if you can fully forgive or not. A relationship where you bring up the past in every fight will never go anywhere.
So if you decide to forgive, really forgive and give your partner a clean slate moving forward. Do not keep bringing it up. If you can't forgive, know that, and move on. It will save both of you a lot of issues.
Kristine Carlson is a psychic medium, advanced soul realignment practitioner, life coach, and author.
