11 Things Wives Should Always Expect From Their Husbands, No Matter What
These are nonnegotiable for a marriage to thrive.
OPOLJA | Shutterstock When we expect our partners to show up in better ways with healthy behaviors, we’re more likely to perceive them, at least according to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. So, while a misalignment of expectations or a completely unrealistic standard may urge a relationship toward disconnection and resentment, expecting positive results and bringing a growth mindset into a marriage are essential.
Many of the things wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what, aren’t tangible. It’s not about traditional gender roles, money, or providership, but several emotional experiences that you can’t easily overlook. From offering vulnerability to navigating conflict healthily, and feeling emotional safety around them, these are powerful parts of a strong, healthy marriage.
Here are 11 things wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what
1. Emotional security
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Whether it’s a literal feeling of physical safety in their presence or emotional security expressing their own thoughts and emotions, these are things wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what. If they’re putting this security at risk by being cruel, dishonest, manipulative, or weaponizing her fears for his good, it’s not a healthy relationship to continue feeding into.
Like a 2020 study explains, the less secure a partner feels on a daily basis, the less committed and satisfied they’ll be.
2. Empathy
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While it might seem obvious, it’s small empathetic behaviors in a relationship, like actively listening in an argument or giving a partner grace for mistakes, that actually make a huge difference in the couple’s well-being and happiness.
It’s the key to boosting intimacy and understanding between couples, but also between everyone in daily interactions, like a study from the European Journal of Personality suggests. Without a foundation of empathy, couples aren’t just passive-aggressive and cruel — they sabotage the respect and trust that a marriage needs to survive and thrive.
3. Respect
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According to research professor Peter Gray, studies show that mutual respect in a marriage is often far more important than romantic love or mutual trust. Of course, all of these things are essential for boosting closeness and understanding, but for the most part, a relationship can’t thrive unless there’s a certain level of respect present.
It not only ensures that couples solve problems healthily and accept each other's differences with dignity, but it also gives them the tools to set boundaries and protect personal well-being without sabotaging the health and happiness of their partner or relationship.
4. Shared responsibility
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From emotional labor like regulating emotions at home to household labor like chores, women tend to bear the largest burden for these things in their relationships, especially with men, according to a study from Frontiers in Psychology. Despite making the same, if not more money than their partners, these women still feel responsible for the majority of the labor happening at home.
That’s why shared responsibility or a framework to discuss responsibilities in their lives is something wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what.
5. Consistency and reliability
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Whether it’s keeping their promises or showing up for their commitments, consistency and reliability are things wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what, and shouldn’t have to beg or ask for a million times.
When you commit to a partner in a marriage, you’re committing to growth and work for life. Whether that means growing on a personal level to show up for a partner in the best way or learning how to make commitments for someone that’s not just yourself, these things are essential for relationship satisfaction.
It’s about doing what you say you’re going to do, and even if it seems subtle, it’s powerful.
6. Hard honesty
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Even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable, honesty is something wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what. Like a study from the University of Rochester found, the truth often hurts and provides fleeting feelings of disconnection, but in the long run, it’s this hard honesty that actually brings couples closer together.
So, in conversations in your relationship, don’t be afraid of the discomfort. In fact, lean into it.
7. Thoughtfulness
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Thoughtfulness may be easily overlooked in favor of big-ticket issues in a marriage or daily stress and chaos, but it’s actually one of the most important things a marriage can cultivate.
Even if it seems like big things, commitments, and experiences are the true indicators of a healthy relationship, it’s actually the little things that make the biggest difference. From small acts of kindness, like making coffee at home, to remembering important dates and information, this type of thoughtfulness is something wives should be able to expect from their husbands all the time.
8. Inclusion in decisions
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Whether it’s making plans for the future or paying bills, playing a role in making big decisions and, at the very least, being informed of decisions their partner is making, are things wives should be able to expect from their husbands all the time.
According to a study from the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, couples with more thoughtful decision-making processes boasted better relationship satisfaction, but also a greater commitment to their partners and fewer external attention-seeking interactions.
9. Emotional availability
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According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, men who are open to learning from their wives and accepting their insights in a relationship are more likely to have greater happiness and relationship satisfaction.
Even when it comes to emotional connection, vulnerability, and availability, being willing to share their emotions and thoughtfully resolve conflicts is important for longevity. Even if it’s occasionally difficult or uncomfortable, this kind of openness is something wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what.
10. Friendship
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Marrying your best friend is one of the most powerful ways to maintain longevity, satisfaction, and happiness in a marriage, at least according to psychologist Mark Travers. You have the foundation of mutual understanding, emotional connection, support, and fun, but also the intimacy, touch, and coordination of a couple on top.
Even if it seems like a cliché, friendship is something partners should always expect from each other, because it’s the key to having fun and feeling safe at home.
11. Apologies without defensiveness
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Defensiveness often takes a toll on relationships, sabotaging couples from finding a healthy resolution without also taking on resentful feelings, insecurity, and disconnection. According to therapist and author Robert Taibbi, defensiveness takes on many forms, from blame-shifting to making excuses, but in the end, it’s a defense mechanism for vulnerability.
If you’re truly safe and secure in a relationship, you shouldn’t need to feel the need to defend yourself all the time, whether you’re connecting intimately or having an argument. That’s why apologies, conflict-resolution, and communication without ego or defensiveness are all things wives should always expect from their husbands, no matter what.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
