10 Rare Signs You Married Someone Worthy Of Being Your Actual Best Friend
People say you should marry your best friend, but how do you know if your spouse is worthy of that title?
GalacticDreamer | Shutterstock I can't tell you how often I have heard the advice, "Marry your best friend." I didn't realize that it didn't have to mean marrying a guy you grew up with and pined for from the safety of the "friend zone" until he realized what he was missing and fell for you.
It's possible to meet someone new, start dating, and become best friends. I write this from the post-altar perspective, sitting comfortably in a cat onesie beside my husband as we binge-watch Shameless and make intermittent, unrelated jokes about our cats getting jobs. (OK, we're a crazy cat couple. Deal with it.) Our relationship started purely romantic, but he's now graduated into being my best friend.
Here are 10 rare signs you married someone worthy of being your actual best friend:
1. You have funny, quirky, or bizarre nicknames for each other
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Think less along the lines of "babe" and "honey" (vom), and more along the lines of "Emma-lemma-ding-dong." Not that I've heard that one before.
Using quirky or humorous nicknames in relationships can signify a strong emotional bond between partners. An article in Body+Soul suggests that these nicknames serve as "verbal personal jokes," which create a fun "culture of two." This special connection not only supports emotional intimacy but also encourages vulnerability and playfulness between partners. These personalized nicknames create a private world for a couple, making them feel more comfortable with each other, building trust, and creating a closeness reserved for intimate friendships and relationships.
2. You have hilarious inside jokes together
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But that literally no one else finds even remotely funny. And they give you the most judging looks when you let them slip into their presence and then proceed to die of absurd laughter.
Similar to the funny nicknames for each other, best friends who have built intimate relationships with each other over the years have a history of inside jokes only they can understand. Sharing inside jokes in a relationship can significantly enhance that emotional connection. According to a study published in the Journal of Personal Relationships, couples who laugh together tend to have stronger, happier relationships. The research found that shared laughter serves as encouragement, helping to synchronize partners' (and friends') sense of humor, making them feel closer and more supported by each other.
3. You never run out of things to talk about
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And that's not counting bills, kids, household chores, dinner plans, or the show you're currently binge-watching. Even though you know pretty much everything there is to know about each other, and see each other almost constantly, you always have something new to talk about, and you can keep the conversation going for hours.
4. You're perfectly content doing nothing together
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I'm not talking about being that couple who may as well live on another planet for how little they see their friends or get out of the house. Rather, when you have your lazy, frill-free nights, you genuinely enjoy them and have a blast just being in each other's presence, without agonizing over potential better plans and succumbing to FOMO.
5. They are always the first person you call or text
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When you get good or bad news, read something interesting, hear something ridiculous, or see the most hilarious "that is so true" quotes on Instagram. You're each other's cheerleaders, confidants, and partners in crime.
The Pew Research Center published research on the social sharing of emotions, showing that individuals often turn to their closest confidants, such as spouses, to share both joyful and distressing experiences. Sharing in this way aids emotional processing and strengthens the bond between partners, emphasizing how a spouse serves as a crucial source of support and connection.
6. You make perfect travel partners
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You're almost always on the same wavelength regarding where to take your next trip and how to approach the itinerary (read 1,000 books on the destination and schedule yourselves to the minute, or get to where you're going and see what happens?). You don't get bored, sick of, or irritated with each other, no matter how long the vacation or how remote the destination is.
Traveling together can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction. Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D., noted in Psychology Today that couples who vacation together have better communication and increased intimacy. The shared experiences and challenges of travel can strengthen bonds and provide couples with opportunities to connect on a deeper level.
7. You don't fight over the remote
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Your nights at home aren't constant battles about who gets to watch sports and who gets to watch Real Housewives. Your interests crossover enough — maybe you both love sports, or you both love Real Housewives, or maybe you both were completely obsessed with Parenthood and still lament over its end — that you have plenty of shows you both like to watch together.
The same goes for music, movies, and random activities, like unhesitatingly hopping on a human slingshot carnival ride while vacationing at the beach.
8. You can have a conversation with each other without talking
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Nonverbal communication plays a crucial role in intimate relationships, enabling partners to convey emotions and intentions without relying on words. A study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior found that couples who frequently engage in nonverbal immediacy behaviors — such as eye contact, facial expressions, and physical closeness — tend to report greater relationship satisfaction and a deeper sense of emotional closeness. These actions promote a greater understanding between partners, allowing them to interpret each other's moods and needs without speaking verbally.
9. They fit in seamlessly with your group of friends
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He's a fixture on the ongoing group text thread, and your friends tell you that they no longer think of him as your husband, but as their friend. Sometimes, he even hangs out with them when you're not around, which isn't weird, because why wouldn't your best friends hang out together?
Research shows that social integration — couples' connections with friends and institutions — positively impacts relationship and marital well-being. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that couples who are more socially integrated tend to be happier in their relationships. This integration includes shared friendships and participation in social activities together, which can strengthen the bond between partners.
10. You can be completely and utterly yourself at all times
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Crass humor and unflattering selfie out-takes don't have to be hidden in attempts to remain ladylike. The whole concept of "maintaining an air of mystery" is long gone — not because you've lost that lovin' feeling, but because he's your best friend, he knows the real you, and that's why he married you.
Emma Sarran Webster is a Chicago-based journalist, editor, and content strategist. She is currently a Senior Editor at Mic and a former Contributing Editor at Teen Vogue, with more work appearing in Cosmopolitan, Allure, MTV News, Ozy, WIRED, and Men’s Health, among others.
