11 Ways Parents Of Gen Z Kids Accidentally Stunted Their Development & Growth
Parents unknowingly pass on habits to their kids that prevent them from becoming well-rounded adults.
My Agency | Shutterstock There's nothing more challenging than being a parent. Considering there's no rule book or in-depth training class besides the regular baby classes and parenting books, it's unsurprising that even the most well-intentioned parents can make mistakes impacting their child's sense of self. It doesn't mean they failed as parents, but they're just trying to do their best in a world that seems to change quickly.
For Gen Z kids, their childhoods were a mix of old-school activities, like being able to play outside and not having complete access to the internet and other technological advances. Still, those things quickly changed as they grew into their adolescence. Many Gen Z parents may have unknowingly hindered their development and growth to protect and prepare their children. While it may be easy to judge, a lot of their behavior comes from wanting to give their children the best possible future, but reflecting on these patterns can hopefully cause parents to reflect and learn.
Here are 11 ways parents of Gen Z kids accidentally stunted their development and growth:
1. They hovered too much
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Many Gen Z kids were raised with overprotective parents who seemed to hover and track their every move. Helicopter parenting, described as a parent who is excessively involved in their child's life, does the complete opposite of what parents hope it can accomplish: keeping their kids safe and setting them up for success. Children need to have a little bit of independence.
Research by Ellen Sandseter, a professor of early childhood education, found that kids who spend more time exploring on their own before the age of nine are less likely to have anxiety and separation issues as adults. When parents choose to constantly intervene in their children's lives, children miss out on key components to help them become resilient and make decisions on their own. Kids believe they're incapable of facing the outside world without holding onto their parents' hands to lead them.
2. They protected them from discomfort and failure
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Parents never want to see their child experience failure, but it's just a part of life. When kids start being shielded from experiencing discomfort, they miss out on critical learning opportunities. "Failure is part of learning. Trying new things — taking risks — implies the possibility of failing. Children who see failure as something to be avoided at all costs will avoid taking risks and trying things they aren’t already good at. And failure is a process, not an endpoint," explained child/adolescent psychiatrist Candida Fink.
The protective instinct that some parents can feel when their kids fail at certain aspects of life can really affect their development and overall growth. Instead of hesitating to step back and allow kids to stumble a little, parents should make sure they're there to help pick them up and dust off their shoulders before pushing them back out into the world again.
3. They overscheduled their lives
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Many Gen Z kids were often encouraged to have packed schedules that included activities like being on various sports teams, music lessons, tutoring, and other after-school endeavors. While it's good to enrich a child's spare time with various skills and experiences that can help them grow and find hobbies that pique their interest, it can also end up doing the opposite when a child feels they don't have enough time in the day to do anything other than the activities their parents are telling them to do.
"I see two consequences to the overscheduled phenomenon. First, children and teens regularly communicate to me that they are stressed out and need time off," said clinical psychologist Ronald Stolberg. "The second consequence of being overscheduled is that many kids and teens haven’t learned how to fill time on their own, so they expect their parents to continuously structure their schedule."
4. They prioritized grades over mental health
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Many Gen Z kids were told academic achievement was more important than anything else. They were expected to do well in school, go to college, and eventually get a good job that would set them up for a successful and fruitful career and adult life. However, by parents of Gen Z kids putting this kind of pressure on them to succeed and live up to unrealistic expectations, their mental health isn't being properly addressed or even acknowledged.
Research has found that extreme academic stress has detrimental effects on the mental well-being of young people, including depression, suicidal attempts, and addictive habits. As kids get older, they inevitably are forced to unlearn being told that their worth is only dependent on how successful they are.
5. They solved problems for them instead of with them
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When parents of Gen Z kids constantly step in to solve problems on their behalf, it can greatly impact their development and overall growth. Kids should learn the importance of being able to advocate for themselves without the interference of their parents doing it for them. By doing this, parents can unintentionally teach their kids that someone else will always be there to clean up their messes.
"The instinct to fix comes from love. But the real power lies in being fully present. Your child doesn’t need you to solve everything. They need to feel capable, seen, and supported," insisted psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein.
When kids aren't given the space to work through their problems, big or small, they miss out on the skills that come with growing into confident and capable adults.
6. They never let their kids be bored
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It can be pretty productive for parents to allow their kids to be bored. Constantly trying to entertain them or fill their schedules with various things can teach them that there's nothing valuable in slowing down and sitting with their thoughts. Boredom is often the one thing that can eventually spark creativity and help them come to terms with their sense of self.
"Entertaining children is a relatively new parenting ideal and increases stress on parents. When children entertain themselves, they learn new skills and what they like and don’t like," encouraged psychology professor Nancy Darling.
7. They labeled instead of listened
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A damaging habit that can harm Gen Z kids' development is when their parents label their behavior instead of having a productive conversation about their habits. Things like "You're being so dramatic!" or "Why are you so moody?" can harm a child's sense of self. These labels are often used as just a quick dismissal of their feelings rather than sitting down with them and trying to understand their experience.
Being able to truly listen to your child can open the door to a healthier relationship. Kids will feel that they can go to their parents with certain things instead of being dismissed and told their emotions aren't valid. Being able to hold space for your kid means they can navigate the world with a better understanding of their feelings.
8. They allowed their children to access screens too early
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Gen Z kids born toward the beginning of the generation were able to have childhoods without technology and social media, but as they grew older and more into their teen years, certain apps were introduced. Gen Z kids born during the start of social media most likely spent their childhoods with screens. Whichever way they fell on the spectrum, parents allowing them access to screens too early harmed their development and growth.
Not monitoring your kids' time in front of a screen or implementing boundaries meant that Gen Z kids were left to navigate the online world without proper supervision. Eventually, screens replaced actual childhood experiences, and kids missed out on valuable and important parts of childhood, including just being a kid without the outside noise of social media.
9. They didn't teach basic life skills
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Things like being able to cook for themselves, do laundry, iron their clothes, and even learn how to clean properly are important tasks that can really help with a child's development. When parents of Gen Z kids choose to do these things for them instead of showing them, they unintentionally get in the way of their child learning to be self-sufficient.
As they grew older, many Gen Z adults found themselves overwhelmed by the demands of being independent. Without that foundation laid out by their parents, the road to adulthood can feel lonely and isolating because you're not where you should be.
10. They avoided hard conversations
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Parents naturally want to protect their kids from having difficult or uncomfortable conversations, but when Gen Z kids are forced to grow up in environments where everything is always brushed under the rug and ignored, it can impact their growth. When children aren't taught the right tools for handling disagreements or navigating conflict in a healthy way, they end up struggling to communicate later in life.
Without practice with difficult conversations, kids may never learn that expressing their emotions and needs is crucial to fostering relationships with others. You simply cannot get through life without running into those moments, which is why parents shouldn't shy away from them.
11. They forced their kids to be grateful for things they didn't ask for
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While gratitude is an important skill for kids to learn, parents trying to encourage them to appreciate things they didn't ask for can have unintentional consequences for their development. Saying things like, "You should be lucky to be here," or "I bought you XYZ, why can't you be more appreciative," can make kids feel as if they need to perform or act a certain way to get approval from their parents.
Teaching kids this kind of gratitude can end up feeling performative and insincere rather than allowing them to learn a more genuine form of appreciation. They may start to think that their own needs aren't wanted, which means they may struggle to advocate for themselves later in life.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
