People Who Actually Grew Up Loved Say These 11 Phrases Naturally
MaxStrogiy / Shutterstock Feeling loved is a wonderful thing that we all want to experience, but some people had the blessing of experiencing it from childhood. This not only has emotional benefits but also health benefits. In a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, researchers determined that children who grew up feeling affection from their parents had “lower multisystem health risks.” People aren’t just going to go around bragging about how loved they were, but there are some phrases they’ll use that will clue you into the fact that they grew up loved.
These people tend to have a greater sense of confidence and clarity. They feel comfortable in their skin and are OK with being their authentic selves. Their parents set them up for success as adults by showing them what it means to be loved from a very young age.
People who actually grew up loved say these 11 phrases naturally
1. ‘I can do this’
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According to clinical psychologist Barbara Markway, there are many benefits to being confident. These include feeling less anxious, being more motivated and resilient, having better relationships, and feeling more authentic. This is the kind of confidence that comes from growing up loved. If someone grew up loved, they were taught that their emotions were valid and that who they were was exactly enough.
When someone says that they can do whatever is in front of them, they are flexing the confidence that they gained growing up in a loving environment. They know they can do it because someone else has told them they can before.
2. ‘Thank you for being there for me’
A study published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine noted that strong, healthy relationships are vital for child development. And, of course, the relationship that impacts them the most is the one they have with their parents. If someone grew up loved, then they have witnessed healthy relationships at work in their life and seen people be there for them when they needed it most.
These people will notice and appreciate the ways that others are there for them well into adulthood. And, instead of shying away from actually acknowledging what those other people are doing for them, they won’t be afraid to point it out and express their thanks.
3. ‘I know it will work out’
According to a study published by the American Psychological Association, there is a definite link between trust and well-being across someone’s entire lifespan. If someone says a phrase like “I know it will work out,” they are demonstrating that sense of trust they started to develop in their childhood. They believe good things will happen for and to them, because it’s what they’ve seen happen before.
People who didn’t grow up loved might not feel comfortable believing that things will work out because that’s just not their experience, but people who did grow up loved will feel like it’s inevitable.
4. ‘I deserve rest’
Someone who grew up loved won’t have to question what they deserve. Instead, they’ll know their inherent worth. Dr. Catherine Birndorf, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center, explained that society teaches women to shrink themselves and focus more on others, which is the opposite of the message it sends to men.
However, if a woman grew up loved, she is more likely to understand her worth and what she deserves in spite of societal expectations. She won’t be afraid to give herself something like time to rest because she knows she doesn’t have to earn it.
5. ‘That’s not right for me’
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People who grew up loved aren’t afraid to assert their boundaries, and it’s important that they do so. Health and wellness writer Marissa Moore shared that setting boundaries makes your life more fulfilling and protects you from burnout. Someone who knows they are loved is used to not letting anyone guilt them into doing something they aren’t comfortable with. They aren’t afraid to speak up and say when something feels off.
If someone grew up loved, then they never knew what it meant to be pushed into doing something they didn’t want to do as a child. They understand what works for them and what doesn’t, and they aren’t afraid to let other people know as well.
6. ‘I trust myself’
People who grew up loved don’t second-guess themselves. They’ve never had a reason to. Their parents instilled a strong sense of self in them, and they know how to follow their own internal compass. Social workers Linda and Charlie Bloom, authors of “Secrets of Great Marriages,” explained that people who trust themselves “have clarity and confidence in their choices.”
Someone who grew up loved was taught to trust their own instincts. They have the confidence it takes to go with their gut and do what they know is right. They aren’t seeking external validation or permission because they know what is best for them.
7. ‘I’m proud of myself’
People who didn’t grow up loved might not be confident or secure enough in themselves to admit they feel proud of themselves. The opposite is true for people who did grow up loved. The support they felt as children gives them the boost they need to say that they know they’ve done a good job.
Some people may have a problem with this. As philosopher Susanna Newsonen shared, it’s easy to feel like celebrating your own accomplishments would mean you have a big ego. However, just like you feel pride in loved ones, you should have no problem feeling proud of yourself. Growing up loved gives you the security needed to do so.
8. ‘I appreciate you’
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People who grew up loved are used to having people in their corner rooting for them. That doesn’t mean they take it for granted, though. They’re quick to tell someone that they appreciate them. Psychologist Steve Taylor, Ph.D., said that it’s easy to take things and people for granted. You have to actively choose the path of gratitude and appreciation instead to make the most out of your life and all that you have.
If someone grew up loved, they are completely comfortable letting someone know that they appreciate them. It doesn’t feel weird or over-the-top to them. Instead, it’s just natural. Of course, they would express their appreciation for someone who’s been there for them.
9. ‘This is what I think’
A person who grew up loved won’t be afraid to let others know what they think. They didn’t grow up in an environment where they had to keep their thoughts and feelings stifled, so it will feel normal for them to continue to share what they think now.
It turns out no one should be afraid to speak up. A study published by the Association for Psychological Science found that hearing someone speak their opinion humanized that person, even if the one hearing it disagreed with them. People who grew up loved already knew this superpower of expressing their opinion.
10. ‘I’m here if you need me’
People who grew up loved have always had people who are there for them. They know how much it can mean to have someone supporting you, whether it’s from near or far. So they let the people they care about know that they’re there for them too. Therapist Ariadne Platero said that it’s important to show “that we see that person and that we care.”
This may make some people feel embarrassed or self-conscious, but if someone grew up loved, they aren’t bothered by it at all. They’ll happily let someone know that they are there for them and always supporting them. They want others to know how special they are to them.
11. ‘I love you’
“I love you” is, perhaps, the most important, meaningful thing one person can say to another. People who grew up loved aren’t afraid to use it liberally. They’ve heard it said to them by people they care about for their whole lives, so they see no reason to shy away from it. Telling the people who are special to them that they love them is important to them.
Saying “I love you” isn’t just a nice thing to do. Licensed clinical social worker Mikaela Frissell explained that love has serious health benefits, including a longer life expectancy and less anxiety and depression. So, people who grew up loved aren’t just randomly telling other people that they love them. They’re actually making their lives better.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
