If Your Dad Uses These 11 Phrases, You Were Raised By A Very Good Man
fizkes / Shutterstock Fathers are integral in the lives of their children. They provide comfort and support. Their impact on their children's mental and physical health is important. When a dad is involved in their child’s life, their children turn out healthier. Newborn babies grow and gain weight at a healthier rate than those who do not have father figures in their lives.
It’s shocking just how important fathers are to their children. From positive health outcomes and support in the ability to form healthy attachments, a very good man can be a special force in the life of their children. When a good man shows up for his children, he will use phrases that build their confidence and help them become successful and healthy adults.
If your dad uses these 11 phrases, you were raised by a very good man
1. 'I'm proud of you'
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In our society, it can be hard for men to show their emotions. They are taught at a young age to remain stoic and rarely show their emotions. Because of that social norm, telling their children that they are proud of them can be hard. However, a very good man has never felt this way. He is proud of his children and loves to tell them that. They know that sharing their thoughts with them can greatly benefit their confidence and emotional intelligence.
"I’m proud of you" feels like a simple phrase everyone should be able to say to their children. Only very good men are comfortable telling their children this regularly. This type of father is in tune with his own emotions and does not fear them. Instead, he shares them often to benefit not only himself, but his children. If your dad shows this behavior, he is not only a great dad, but he is also a special person.
2. ‘I’m always here for you’
Fathers play a key role in their children’s emotional development. When a very good man tells his children that he is always there for them, he means it. He is there to provide emotional support whenever they need it. He’s there to talk to them about their feelings, bring them to sports practice, and show up for every victory they celebrate.
Kids need their fathers to always be there for them. “They also look to their fathers to provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence,” says the Pediatric Associates of Franklin.
3. ‘It’s okay if you make mistakes’
We have all had friends whose parents were impossible to please. They wanted their children to be perfect, which isn’t realistic. A good man knows that his children will make mistakes. It’s simply part of life. What matters most is how he supports his children when they are left with a bad outcome. By saying this phrase, he shows that he isn’t holding his loved ones to impossible standards. Instead, he sees that mistakes happen and encourages them to keep going.
Providing emotional support through a difficult time is one of the best things a father can do for his children. A supportive father not only gives his children the love they need, but they also serves as a positive role model. When the most influential man in your life tells you not only that it is okay to make mistakes, but also that he has been there, you will carry that wisdom into adulthood.
4. ‘I believe in you’
If your father tells you how much they believe in you, they are a very good man. They know that reassurance is key to helping their children become resilient enough to succeed. Putting yourself out there is scary. Taking a risk in an attempt to grow as a person is overwhelming. When you have a supportive parent telling you how much they believe in you, it can make a big difference.
Fathers who often say "I believe in you" are special. They want you to have as much confidence as possible going into moments of change. They value your ability to succeed and want you to try any chance you get. They see the best in you and want you to feel the same about yourself.
5. ‘I’m sorry’
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It’s powerful to receive a good apology from a parent, especially a father. With societal pressures telling them to remain stoic, not vulnerable, saying "I’m sorry" can be a tough task for them. Knowing when they did something that warrants an apology shows you have an emotionally mature father. It takes a very good man to reflect on his actions and issue a genuine apology.
By apologizing to their children, dads are modeling behavior their children need to succeed in life. Most of us were taught our basic manners by our parents. Saying they are sorry shows us how we should treat other people in return. It also provides their children with emotional intimacy, allowing them to see their parents even at low points in their lives. If your dad has no problem apologizing and does so often, he is a very good man.
6. 'I was wrong'
Fathers who struggle to admit when they are wrong rob their children of emotional validation. If they feel hurt by them and do not see any remorse on their end, it can be damaging. A good man knows that he is not perfect. He admits that he will make parenting mistakes and appreciates when his children come to him with their feelings. He can easily recognize when he was wrong because he values growing not only as an individual, but as a father.
Good guys do their best to always show up for their children in a positive way. However, that can be unrealistic. Sometimes they slip up and say things they don’t mean, or miss a special awards ceremony at school because of work. When they can admit their faults, it shows their children that letting their guard down and being vulnerable is important. It sets them up for healthy relationships in the future.
7. 'I love you'
Fathers struggle with saying they love their children. It isn’t because they do not, but rather because they struggle with emotional intelligence and vulnerability. When I think of situations like this, someone I know comes to mind. His father always struggled to say "I love you," but would show it with gestures. Even though he knew his father loved him, he wanted to hear it validated through words. Eventually, he was able to break down that wall with his dad and now feels closer to him than ever. Dads who can get out of their comfort zone and say that serious L word are very good men.
Dads are great at showing they love their children through small gestures. My dad used to fill up my car’s gas tank when I had an early morning appointment the next day. I was lucky to have a father who told me he loved me daily, and I grew up reassured that he was always there for me. It seems like a trivial thing, since love can be viewed as ‘just a word’ to some people, but for men who struggle to show their soft side, it can be a hurdle to cross. Very good men aren't afraid to show and tell their children how much they love them.
8. ‘Let me help you’
I’ll be honest here. I have a difficult time turning to my parents for help. It’s not because I think they will not provide it to me. Rather, letting my guard down and telling them that I am struggling makes it difficult for me to do. I know they have my back no matter what, but I don’t want to seem like a failure. A very good man, like my own father, will say, "Let me help you," because they never want to see their children suffering.
Whether it’s financial or emotional help, dads who are unafraid to step up for their children in times of need are the best fathers out there. They know it can be embarrassing for their children to come running to their parents when something goes wrong. Very good men value their children’s vulnerability. They want to help them whenever they can, even through adulthood.
9. ‘You can count on me’
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Children who grow up with parents they can always count on grow up to be adults with secure attachment styles. For these children who have dads like this, they know how magical it can be. Having a parent who shows up for them day in and out is lucky. They know that they always have someone in their corner. If their dad tells them he is going to do something, they can count on him to follow through. Many people believe they would have turned out entirely differently if they had been born to different parents because of the love and support they received from their own.
Let’s face it, it’s not easy to be there for people unconditionally. It’s not because we do not want to be. It’s that life is crazy, and things pop up. You never know what is going to happen. When you have a very good man for a father, you know that no matter what is going on in his life, he will be there for you. You can count on him for anything and everything.
10. ‘You deserve respect’
Fathers are often the first people in their children’s lives who teach them about respect. Whether it’s showing how much they respect the mother of their kids or how they speak to you with kindness instead of lashing out, respect is learned. They want to model respectful behavior so you will carry it into your life and treat others with respect. They also want you to know that you deserve nothing but respect from the people in your life.
Especially for daughters, a very good man who serves as a wonderful father will instill the idea that they deserve respect into their minds. They will teach them to never settle for less than they deserve. Whether it’s poor treatment at a job or a toxic romantic relationship, very good men teach their children the importance of respect.
11. ‘You are worthy’
A good father often reminds his children that they are worthy of the best. Society can ruin our self-esteem. We may think we are unworthy of success because we’ve been told it a few too many times by outside forces. When a very good man is your father, he will never let you settle for this. He wants you to have the best and reminds you daily that you deserve it.
Parents help build your self-worth. The best way to make children feel worthy? Encourage them and believe in their abilities. Show them how worthy they are, says KVC Healthy Systems. “Help children find enjoyment in the process instead of only the achievement. This cultivates an attitude of eagerness to try new things and identify new skills,” they state. By pushing you to succeed, your father was showing you how worthy you are for the best life has to offer.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
