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Awkward. Very awkward.
By Zayda Slabbekoorn — Written on Oct 30, 2022
A 21-year-old man took to Reddit’s "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) to ask if he was being unreasonable for banning his sister from his wedding.
The Reddit thread allows people to share their stories and get comments of either reassurance that they aren’t the problem or criticism if they are.
The Reddit user shares that he and his fiancée, Tina, had hooked up with one of his friends Todd two years prior – but had quickly stopped after realizing it wasn’t their cup of tea.
The couple stayed friends with Todd, even later when he got into a serious relationship with Hannah. They were close enough friends that both Todd and Hannah came to their engagement party.
It was at this engagement party that the Reddit user’s sister made a comment “about how she’s surprised that Todd was there,” and other people seemed confused and asked questions.
She told the whole party she didn’t know invites were extended to “old passion partners.”
First there was an unbearably awkward silence. Then, chaos.
The bisexual couple, who were not planning on coming out to their “deeply homophobic” family, was now trying to calm everyone down and keep the peace.
The couple’s parents tried to help, but nothing was keeping them from seeing that they were clearly upset, as well.
At this point, the user was furious with his sister.
People started leaving, throwing away the food they brought, and saying they would never come to a wedding of “such heathens."
His sister, who is gay, told them that it was “insulting to the LGBT community that [they’re] not loud and proud, [they] should be ashamed of who [they are] and shouldn’t hide it.”
In response to the user’s anger about being outed by his sister, she responded, “Tough sh-t, besides, do you really want homophobic relatives at your wedding? Consider what I did a favor.”
In addition to the anger and chaos of the “secret lover” reveal, Hannah — Todd’s girlfriend — was also blindsided. She knew Todd was bi but not that he had hooked up with the couple.
He shares, “Now his relationship is shaky, my situation has spread like wildfire through my family, with some relatives defending me and Tina, and others disowning and being disgusted by us.”
The Reddit user says his whole life is flipped upside down.
Tina’s dad who planned to pay for the wedding is having second thoughts after “the controversy”, his parents say they don’t support their “lifestyle”, and he’s forced to consider cutting off his sister.
The only person who 100% supports him still is his fiancée, Tina.
So, even amid all the family and friends’ chaos, his fiancée is not attempting to fade away or throw their whole wedding away.
Following up on the post, the user makes several clarifications, one of them being that the sister has also not come out yet — which he finds to be “hypocritical.”
He also mentions that his sister found the Reddit post, along with their parents, who were both enraged.
She was upset that everyone was “seeing her as the bad guy,” while the parents refused to come to the wedding because he “turned a bunch of strangers on the Internet against their, “precious baby girl."
The parents are also upset that the sister is gay. They blame the user for “spreading [his] homosexuality to her.”
While the user still hasn’t decided on whether or not to cut off the sister, a huge majority of the comments hope that he does. At the very least, Tina is still by his side in dealing with the situation, and they’re not holding any secrets or grudges against each other.
It’s also fair to say that the majority of the comments agree he is “Not the A-hole."
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango. They cover topics ranging from pop culture analysis to human interest stories. They are currently based in East Lansing, MI. Catch up with them on their Instagram or TikTok.