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Man Angered When Sister Wants His Kids In Her Destination Wedding — But Not At The Reception

Photo: Tatiana Bobkova / Shutterstock
Kids, wedding

A man’s sister and his future brother-in-law are being branded as “bullies” after their decision to have a child-free reception at their wedding — yet require the man’s children to perform key roles in the wedding ceremony.

The man found himself in a tough position since he and his wife were invited to both the ceremony and the reception and have no one to look after their children during the reception.

Now the man has decided that he is not going to the wedding after his sister and her fiance refused to compromise or make an exception to have his children attend all festivities included in the wedding.

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The man's children were asked to be part of the destination wedding ceremony but are banned from the reception.

Posting his story on the subreddit, "r/AmItheA–-hole" (AITA), the man asked other Redditors if he was in the wrong for refusing to attend his sister’s wedding over their disagreement about his children being involved.

The began his post by sharing that his sister is marrying his best friend next month, and they planned a destination wedding in a remote winter area.

“Everything was going fine until she told me it was a child-free wedding,” the man wrote.

“Now, that would be fine with my wife and I because we would just drop off my son and daughter at my wife's parents or with their godparents, but my sister had asked them to be the ring bearer and the flower girl.”

Since the man’s children have a role in the wedding ceremony, they can no longer leave them with other relatives and have to stay with the children in their cabin during the reception.

That would prove to be difficult since the man revealed that he is the best man and is conducting some of the reception.

This means that the man’s wife would have to skip the reception to watch the children, which the rest of the man’s family did not see the issue with.

“My mom will give my wife 20 minutes to come in [the reception hall], grab some plates with food and come back because the mother of the bride can't be missing for too long,” the man wrote.

The man shared that both of his children are under the age of seven and that the cabins are remote with barely any cell phone service.

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He is not comfortable leaving his wife and children alone during the reception.

“Not only do I think this is not a safe idea considering it would be the middle of winter…I think it's incredibly rude to invite someone to a destination wedding where they are only allowed to attend the wedding,” the man wrote.

He argued that his wife was being treated like “a babysitter for the ringbearer and flower girl” instead of a guest.

The man has offered several alternative plans to his sister and best friend so that he and his wife can attend both the ceremony and the reception.

However, they are refusing to compromise.

“I asked if my kids could attend until the toasts, games, and food then all four of us would retire to the cabin and let them party, [they said] no,” he wrote.

“If we could go completely child-free and leave the kids behind, [they said] no. If I just attend the wedding and retire to the cabin after the wedding, [they said] no.”

The man’s sister and her fiance wanted the man and his wife to bring their children to the ceremony, but they were banned from the reception and the man and his wife had no one available to watch them since the wedding will be seven hours away from home.

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Ultimately, the man got upset and decided that he would not be going to the wedding.

“Which in turn, began the messages and calls from everyone,” he revealed.

Other family members are urging the man and his family to attend the ceremony with the children.

Additionally, the man’s children are upset.

“Before asking us, my sister and jacka-- [her fiance] asked them first to participate in the wedding and they were really excited because they're close with both of them,” the man wrote.

Now the man is worried that he may have overreacted.

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Redditors supported the man’s decision and criticized his sister and her fiance’s refusal to compromise and for mistreating the children.

“If she wants child-free then she does not need your kids as props,” one user pointed out. “As a parent, you have the right to not attend a child-free wedding without guilt.”

“They are trying to blackmail you into leaving your family alone during the reception,” another user shared. “She's being a bully and I wouldn't drive five feet to attend her wedding/revenge extravaganza.”

“They put you in an impossible situation and they can't make you do s**t,” another user commented.

 “Personally, I’d take my wife and children and have a nice weekend away at a different location, far far away,” another user suggested. “Kudos to you for standing up for your wife and children. You rock.”

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.