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Woman Asks If She's Wrong After She RSVP'd 'No' To Sister's Wedding Because She Needs To Sleep In Until 1PM

Photo: Kyryk Ivan / Shutterstock
Wedding, sisters

Weddings are a significant milestone in one’s life and many would like the support of their family.

However, one woman revealed that she plans on skipping her sister’s wedding due to conflicts in her own schedule.

The woman shared that she RSVP’d 'no' to her sister’s wedding because it would interfere with her sleep schedule.

Posting her story on the subreddit "r/AmItheA–-hole" (AITA), the woman asked other Redditors if she was wrong for wanting to miss her sister’s wedding so that she could sleep.

The woman started her post by sharing that her sister, Hanna, is not speaking to her after she RSVP’d "no" to her upcoming wedding in January.

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The woman’s mother is asking her to reconsider, but she claims that she no longer wants to go to the wedding due to how her sister reacted to the situation.

The woman explained why she said no in the first place.

"Ever since I hit puberty I've had really really (really really really) bad insomnia," she wrote. "I usually go to bed around 6 am, or 7 am, and wake up around 1 pm, or 2 pm."

She claims that she has tried to adjust her sleeping habits in the past.

"I've tried to change my sleep style and I just can't, it's like dealing with international jet lag."

She added that Hanna is aware of her insomnia, but often forgets and has tried to wake her up for family events when she’s home.

The woman said that when she received Hanna’s wedding invitation in the mail, she was "super excited" for her.

However, when she saw the timeline for the day's events, her attitude changed.

"There's a wedding brunch at 10 am, the ceremony is at noon, and then there's an afternoon party," the woman wrote.

"I asked Hanna if I could just come to the afternoon party (since I will be sleeping at 10 am) and she got furious and started yelling over the phone about how since I'm her sister, I need to be there for the ceremony."

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The woman argued that there was "no way" she would be able to make it to the wedding, and compared her sister expecting her to be at her wedding was like "trying to get someone on a 9-5 work schedule to attend an event at 2 am."

"If she wanted me to be there for the whole thing, she needed to plan for a time when I could actually attend," the woman wrote.

The woman shared that their mother is "really upset" that she isn’t coming to the wedding and wants her to apologize to her sister and offer to be one of her bridesmaids.

"I just feel like she [Hanna] owes me the apology, not the other way around," the woman argues.

"But I might be wrong because this is the first big fancy wedding in our family and maybe I need to suck it up because it's a tradition to have a morning breakfast or something," she added. 

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Most Redditors slammed the woman for not adjusting her sleep schedule for one day to support her sister.

"You’re wrong for expecting events to be planned around you, and for not caring enough about her wedding to consider talking to a doctor for help," one user pointed out.

"I work a typical 9-5 and if my sister decided to have her wedding at 2 am for some reason you can bet your a-– I’d be there," another user shared.

"I also have insomnia and I used to also go to bed at 6 am or so. It took me a while to change this and now I still struggle to sleep by 2 am," another user revealed. "But you know what? Every important event, work or personal, I MAKE SURE TO ATTEND."

"Even if I'm super tired, sleepy, and wish I weren't there. I get coffee and tough it out and then catch up on sleep afterward. You need to put aside your comfort for important life events - you'll regret it otherwise." 

Other users suggested methods for the woman to improve her sleep schedule.

"I really encourage you to look into all the health conditions that can cause insomnia and see if any fit, because it might be something kind of obscure, and you don't want to waste more years trying a million meds that don't help at all, or that cause you problems," one user recommended.

"My doctor and I found a sleep med that help me sleep and eventually my body readjusted. They make things for people with this issue," another user added.

The woman followed up with her original post to share that she would apologize to her sister and deal with her sleep issues for one day to be there for her.

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.