190 Deep & Powerful Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend

Photo: Getty
guy giving his girlfriend a piggyback ride

Keeping things exciting in a relationship is tough when you think you know everything about each other. You spend day in, day out together, but how often do you actually get down to each other’s deepest secrets?

Gestalt Therapist Christine Vargo, LCSW, says, "There’s tremendous value in asking deeper questions in relationships. The vulnerability required to ask and answer meaningful questions can facilitate trust, encourage open communication, and enhance the bond towards a strong foundation."

When you first start a conversation with someone you've started dating, there's no way to know what kind of things you'll end up learning about one another. Even when you eventually fall in love, there are plenty of interesting questions to ask a girl to grow even closer.

Vargo continues, "One of the best things about knowing and learning about your partner is the genuine practice of curiosity. People have such rich life experiences that have brought them to meeting the person they can choose as a partner."

These questions for couples are intended to help give both of you more insight into each others' needs over the long term. You'll be able to discover a favorite memory, what kind of deal breakers you each have, or just to get a conversation starter to kick your date night off.

RELATED: 5 Cute Things To Say To Your Girlfriend That Will Let Her Know She's The Best Thing In Your Life

With everything from childhood to high school, to the future, these will leave no doubt in your mind about who your girlfriend really was, is, and will be.

Deep questions to ask your girlfriend

You can ask these when you are alone on an evening out or cuddling on the couch at home. No matter where you are asking these questions can reveal her deepest thoughts.

  • What scares you most about our relationship?
  • What do you look for in a relationship?
  • Do you think we could parent well together if we had children?
  • Who do you want our children to take after?
  • Do you think you are misunderstood?
  • What are you most ashamed of?
  • What did you learn from your last relationship?
  • What was the hardest thing that you ever had to get through as a kid?
  • Have you ever felt like giving up in the past?
  • What is an innocent mistake you made that had dramatic consequences?
  • Has anyone ever broken your trust beyond repair?
  • Looking back on your life, what have you done that has given you the most satisfaction?
  • Is there someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time that you miss?
  • How do you measure success?
  • If our relationship ended, what is the one thing about it you would miss the most?
  • What do you think was your most vulnerable moment in our relationship?
  • What is the most courageous thing you have ever done?
  • What is your biggest passion?
  • Do you find it hard to trust people?
  • Is there ever a good excuse to tell a lie?
  • What is one thing you want to accomplish together by this time next year?
  • What is something you failed badly at?
  • Would your younger self be proud of what you’ve achieved so far?
  • What was an aspiration you had when you were younger that you no longer want to achieve?
  • What do you do when heartbroken?
  • What do you think is your biggest strength in this relationship?
  • What is one thing about your parents’ relationship that you seek to emulate?
  • Have you ever loved someone who didn’t love you back?
  • Are relationships meant to last forever?
  • What is one thing you think makes our relationship unique from everyone else’s?

RELATED: 10 Ways To Create A Deep Emotional Connection With Your Partner

Questions to ask your girlfriend about yourself

Ask these questions to see what your girlfriend really thinks about you. These questions can also get to the depths of why she loves you.

  • If you could change one thing about me and the way I treat you, what would you change?
  • What are you most attracted to about me?
  • What is your favorite activity to do with me?
  • What would you change about me if you could?
  • Do you think I have an irrational fear of something?
  • Do I ever make you unhappy?
  • When was the first time you looked and me and realized that you were in love with me?
  • Was my first impression of you a good one or a bad one?
  • What is one thing I do for you that you are truly grateful for?
  • What is one thing about me that surprised you?
  • What do you admire most about me?
  • What is your favorite physical feature of mine?
  • Where is your favorite place to be with me?
  • Do you want to change anything in me?
  • How did you know you wanted to be in a relationship with me?
  • Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
  • What is the nicest thing I have ever said to you?
  • Do I make you feel good about yourself?
  • What is one secret you’ve wanted to tell me, but haven’t?

RELATED: 250 Questions To Get To Know Someone & Spark Conversation

Fun questions to ask your girlfriend

Not all questions have to be serious of course. There's tremendous bonding power in having fun together, and these silly questions are perfect for just that.

  • Where is one place you would never visit?
  • Where would you want to run away with me, if you could pick any destination in the world?
  • What habit are you proud of breaking?
  • What is your guilty pleasure?
  • Who would be the more strict parent?
  • Do you ever miss being single?
  • Do you admire your parents’ parenting style?
  • Do you consider yourself a free-thinker?
  • What piece of culture or trend has died out, and you would like to see it make a comeback?
  • What is something you wish you knew more about?
  • If you could hear every time someone said something good about you or something negative about you, which would you choose?
  • What do you think people automatically assume about you when they look at you?
  • When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
  • What meal makes you the happiest?
  • What song comes to mind when you think of me?
  • How decisive or indecisive are you?
  • If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what problem would you choose?
  • Who influences you the most?
  • Do you prefer material gifts (jewelry, purses) or experiences (vacation, concerts)?
  • Who understands you the best?
  • What do you want to be remembered for?
  • Who is your role model?
  • Do you think there’s life on other planets?
  • If you could live as one fictional character for a day, who would it be?
  • What would you do if you were invisible for a day?
  • Would you ever want to be famous?
  • What is one difference between us that you absolutely love?
  • What is one similarity between us that you absolutely love?
  • If you won a million dollars tomorrow, what would you first do?

RELATED: 101 Small-But-Mighty Pieces Of Relationship Advice To Help You Improve Yours ASAP

Dirty questions to ask your girlfriend

These questions should definitely be kept for when the two of you are alone. Maybe after dinner when you're both feeling a bit frisky!

  • What is one thing you want to do together that we’ve never done before?
  • What is your biggest turn-on?
  • Where is your favorite spot to be kissed?
  • What is the craziest thing you’ve done in the bedroom?
  • What makes you feel the sexiest?
  • Have you ever given thought to make the first move on someone?

RELATED: 120 Cute Things To Say To Your Girlfriend (Over & Over Again)

Random and weird questions to ask your girlfriend

These questions are great for long car rides or when you find times when you are bored. They're great conversation starters!

  • What is the hardest thing you ever had to experience in your life?
  • Are you satisfied with the place you live?
  • What does your perfect life consist of?
  • What is one memory you wish you could revisit?
  • What will you fight for until the day that you die?
  • Would you rather own your dream home but never be able to travel, or travel but never own your dream home?
  • What is something you saw someone do that changed the way you think on a certain subject?
  • What is the craziest dream you’ve had?
  • Apart from school, what is the best way to get an education?
  • If you were the leader of a country, what laws would you like to change?
  • What is something weird that you recommend everyone trying at least once?
  • What is something terrible humans do that you wish you could change?
  • What do you like to do that is traditionally considered masculine?
  • When was the last time you had a gut feeling about something that turned out to be correct?
  • Would you rather constantly hear others’ opinions of you, or constantly tell others your opinion of them?
  • What would you do if one day you woke up and you were the last person on Earth?
  • If you only had one hour left on earth, who would you want to spend it with?
  • If you could pick how you die, what would it be?
  • What are you most afraid of?
  • If you could live through one historical event, what would it be?
  • What is the last film that made you cry?
  • Where do we go when we die?
  • If you could time travel once, would you go to the future or the past?
  • Who is your celebrity doppelganger?
  • When last did you feel awe and what happened?
  • If you could have dinner with any celebrity, dead or alive, who would it be?
  • If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
  • What social norms do you wish would disappear?
  • If you could take one photo of your life, what would it look like?
  • What would be the top 10 items on your bucket list?

RELATED: How To Be A Good Boyfriend, According To Boyfriends

Cute questions to ask your girlfriend

These questions can be used to help get to know more about your girlfriend. Ask these when you feel like she is open to revealing more about herself.

  • What is your favorite childhood memory?
  • When in your life do you think that you were at your happiest?
  • What is one memory that you hope you never, ever forget?
  • What did you dream about doing as a career when you were a child?
  • What do you most look forward to about getting old?
  • What do you wish you had more time for?
  • Who do you make happy?
  • Who makes you happy?
  • What picks you up when you’re down?
  • What is the meaning of life?
  • When you were younger, what was your dream job?
  • What gets you up in the morning?
  • What is your favorite way to spend your time?
  • Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
  • Do you love yourself?
  • Does your name have a specific meaning to you and the people around you?
  • What do you like that most people find strange?
  • What movie do you think everyone should watch?
  • What does beauty mean to you?
  • How has your life improved since we met?
  • How do you define friendship?

RELATED: 100 Questions To Ask Your Fiancé Before Marriage

Romantic questions to ask your girlfriend

Ask these romantic questions when you want to know more about your girlfriend's thoughts on your relationship. Asks these over dinner!

  • How would you describe our relationship in one sentence?
  • What is the most romantic memory of us you have?
  • What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • Do you fall in love easily?
  • What is your favorite romantic movie?
  • What is the best kiss you’ve ever had?
  • Were you ever swept off your feet by a romantic gesture?
  • What is your ideal date?
  • Would you rather be loved or love someone?
  • What is true love to you?
  • What makes you feel beautiful?
  • What TV shows have the most romantic couples?

RELATED: 15 Romantic Love Song Lyrics To Let Your Girlfriend Or Wife Know You Appreciate Her

Serious questions to ask your girlfriend

These serious questions can be used to bring out your girlfriend's thoughts on the future. You should be prepared for answers that may not be positive or what you expected them to be.

  • What do you like the most about yourself?
  • Do you think that we can lead a long, happy life together?
  • How have I changed since we started dating?
  • Do we communicate well together?
  • What is a memory you wish you could block out?
  • What things would you do differently from your parents when you have your own children?
  • Do you think there was something from your childhood that traumatized you?
  • Does flirting count as cheating?
  • Would you go through a boyfriend’s phone if you could?
  • What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner?
  • What do you really wish you knew when you were younger?
  • What is the biggest lie that an ex has told you?
  • What is the biggest lie you’ve told an ex?
  • What is one thing you feel our relationship is lacking?
  • Do you want to raise our children to be religious?
  • Do you see yourself getting married?
  • What is one thing about your life you would never change for someone else, including me?
  • What about us do you think works well together? How do we balance each other out?

RELATED: 6 Things You Need To Do To Have A Stronger Relationship

Questions to ask your girlfriend over text

These questions can be sent any time over text. Use these as a way to have a deep conversation while miles apart.

  • What is more important to you: love or money?
  • What is one habit you still can’t break?
  • Do we have fun together?
  • Who is the person you admire most?
  • Who is someone in your life that you want to be like when you are older?
  • What is the earliest memory that you have?
  • What does happiness mean to you?
  • What are the top 5 countries you want to visit?
  • What are you most grateful for?
  • What is your definition of femininity?
  • What is your definition of masculinity?
  • What was the worst phase you went through in life?
  • When was the last time you cried?
  • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
  • What do you think about the most often?
  • What is your favorite book?
  • What would your parents be very surprised to learn about you?
  • What is something many people don’t know about you?
  • What are you most thankful for?
  • When are you the most confident?
  • Is there something you stopped doing even though you loved it?
  • What is something you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to do?
  • What is your dream job?
  • What is your favorite perfume?

RELATED: 150 Cute Names To Call Your Girlfriend When You Get To The Nickname Stage

Alice Kelly is a writer with a passion for lifestyle, entertainment, and trending topics.