20 Mother's Day Gifts For Your Difficult Mom

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Gift Ideas For The Mom You Are Not Close To

We don’t get to choose our family members; unfortunately, that may mean having a toxic parent. When it comes to an estranged mother, specifically, it's important to remember that she's still your mother, despite how difficult she is.

“Most people are not able to completely cut their mother out of their lives, nor would it usually be the best decision for overall family dynamics,” says Kasi Howard PsyD, founder and Executive Director of Innova Recovery Center. “The first step towards a healthier relationship is to realize that you can only manage your reactions, not her behavior.”

The point is that you can't change your difficult mother, not can you expect anything different. 

“I often encourage people to grieve the loss of their ideal parent, much the same way they would grieve an actual death. Once you let go of expectations, you can actually start to appreciate your mother for what she is, instead of lamenting over what she is not,” Howard adds.

But giving Mother's Day gifts could be a good time to start setting boundaries.

RELATED: Why You Need To Heal Your Broken Mother-Daughter Relationship

Pass on the forced “my mom is my best friend” coffee mug that just isn’t true, and find a gift that signifies the level of relationship you want to have with her.  

1. The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal

This book a great gift, especially if your mom is wanting to open up the possibility for something different in your relationship. This is a book designed for healing, and transforming your pain into inspiration.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

2. Sebamed DeStress Home Spa Duo

Why not butter up to mom with the gift of creating a spa in her shower whenever she feels like it? Maybe daily home spa treatments will dissipate the tension.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

3. Small Packages 'Self-Care' Box

This box has everything she needs for a day at the spa — and you don’t have to go with her. Get points for sending something nice (the boxes are luxe, with a fun assortment of beautiful products), but spend less than 5 minutes ordering the whole thing. Even better? It comes with a handwritten note, so you don’t have to send a separate card.

(Small Packages, $35-$100)

4. MasterClass

Whether she’s a businesswoman, beauty guru, or fashionista, MasterClass is an the online education platform that provides access to world-renowned instructors. Whether mom wants to watch solo or you want to watch together, MasterClass lets you learn on the go.

(MasterClass, $180 subscription-based all-access pass)

5. Verve Culture's Thai Massage Ball

If you’re looking to keep it light, with no strings attached, consider Verve Culture’s Thai Massage Ball. Even if you don’t have the closest relationship with your mother, these massage balls are affordable and show your mom that she deserves time to unwind.

(The Self-Care Place, $12.49)

6. PediPocket

Not really into hugging? You can still wrap mom in a warm embrace with a comfy blanket. PediPocket is extra long, soft, and has a brilliantly designed foot pocket.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

RELATED: 6 Reasons Why Mothers And Daughters Fight So Often

7. MantraBand Bracelet

Skip the lovey-dovey "Best Mom Ever" messages if that's not your thing, but keep her uplifted and inspired with a MantraBand bracelet. With multiple inspirational messages to choose from, these are made from hypoallergenic, lead-free, and tarnish-resistant stainless steel.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

8. Coravin Model Two Wine Preservation System

Now you and mom don’t have to fight over what bottle of wine you open next. No matter if it’s red, white, or rosé, Coravin gives you the freedom to drink any wine, in any amount, without wasting a drop.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

9. Neckglasses Pendant

These fold-up readers (glasses) double as stylish necklaces. Let mom wear it with any outfit of her choice, and look great at the same time.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

10. Martha Stewart Collection for Macy's Tea Set

A perfect gift for the mom who enjoys entertaining and drinking/serving tea, this tea set and its matching cups feature indigo-hued berries and leaves that decorate the white porcelain surface. It's a fresh and welcome addition to her table!

(Macy's, $79.99)

11. Goddess Garden Aromatherapy Bracelet and Essential Oil

The Goddess Garden Aromatherapy Bracelet can be enjoyed on the go, or for staying indoors during quarantine. Either way, it's a good mood-enhancing boost and great start to the day for mom.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

12. Chefman Froth & Brew Coffee Maker

Mom will love making her favorite coffeehouse style drinks with the Chefman Froth & Brew Coffee Maker. It brews from grounds or K-cup pods, and has an integrated frother that works through magnetic force. Plus, it comes with a 20 oz frothing mug.

(Target, $79.99)

13. Hyascent Cheeky Rose Diffuser

Surprise her with a unique, luxurious diffuser that is not so ordinary. With notes of pink roses, orris root, moss blossom, and water lily, this fragrance will add a nice touch to her home.

(Neiman Marcus, $169)

14. Love Tuning Necklace

Help mom de-stress with this small necklace that doubles as a meditative flute! It's made of copper and brass, and plays therapeutic tones when she inhales and exhales, emitting a healing frequency.

(Uncommon Goods, $58)

RELATED: 30 Best Mother's Day Gifts Of 2020 From Your Mom's Favorite Child — You!

15. Crown and Paw Pet Portrait

Maybe she loves her dog or cat more than she loves you, but you might even agree with her on that. Crown and Paw curates 19th century portraits of your pet just by using their photo. All you have to do is choose a costume and upload a photo of your pet.

(Crown and Paw, $49.95+)

16. 60 Hour Candle

This coiled beeswax candle burns longer in its shape, burning for one hour at a time. Give mom a nice warm touch for her home!

(Uncommon Goods, $18-$30)

17. Blackened American Whiskey

For a gift that truly rocks, Metallica and the late Master Distiller Dave Pickerell created a new whiskey called Blackened, which is a blend of ryes and bourbon. Every batch comes with a curated playlist so you can sip your whiskey to the songs chosen by James, Lars, Kirk, and Robert.

(Reserve Bar, $42)

18. Votes for Women Puzzle

You may not have a lot in common... except maybe that she's a woman and so are you. Capitalize on that one thing you have in common and celebrate suffrage with this beautifully illustrated 500-piece puzzle.

(Uncommon Goods, $20)

19. Benevolent Brownies

No matter your relationship, nobody can pass up a delicious brownie! Each pack includes classic chocolate fudge, vegan fudge, brown sugar blondie with chocolate chips, and snickerdoodle. And each sale helps social programs flourish.

(Uncommon Goods, $35)

20. Aethera CBD Skincare Set

The set includes: Sunrise Morning serum loaded with vitamins A, B, C, and E, Hyaluronic Acid, and 200mg CBD; Everyday Botanical Brightening Concentrate, a reverse emulsion moisturizer with Jojoba Seed Oil, Papaya Seed Oil, Turmeric, and 500mg CBD; and Sunset Evening serum with a creamy blend of Jojoba, Coconut, Carrot Seed, Niacinamide, and 200mg CBD.

(Check prices and reviews on Amazon)

RELATED: How To Accept Your Parents For Who They Really Are — Now That You Know The Truth

Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyles writer who loves browsing for cute gifts (and great sales) on the Internet, so she found a way to make it part of her job! Find her on Twitter or via email.

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