If You Want To Be A Good Boyfriend, Stop Doing These 7 Things Women Absolutely Hate

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What Do Women Want In A Man? Relationship Advice For Men On How To Be A Good Boyfriend To Your Girlfriend

By Theo Harrison

What’s the one question all men want to ask? Any guesses? It’s what women want!

Men are simple creatures. When we find a woman attractive, we want to meet them, strike up a conversation, take them out on a date, make them laugh, woo them, and hopefully, get into a meaningful relationship.

Yeah... contrary to popular belief, that’s what most men want. But women, on the other hand, are a lot more complicated.

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Being smart, nice, or attractive is not enough for them. Women have a complete list of prioritized criteria that men need to meet in order to date them. So, the right question all men need to ask is not what she wants, but what she doesn’t!

What do women want from men?

I am no expert on women, so I can’t tell you exactly what women want. However, I may be able to enlighten you a bit.

Like men, every woman is different and all of them have unique personalities, thoughts, perceptions, needs, and wants. But, there are certain things that are common across the board. No, women don’t want expensive gifts. They don’t want your money, either.

What they want is for you to respect them. They want you to give them your time, your loyalty, your love, your honesty, and your effort.

Women want us to understand that, even though they may be successful, secure, assertive, strong, and thriving, they want their men to lead them emotionally. They want us to be there to share their achievements and failures and their happiness and disappointments. 

They don’t need our love to grow. They want our love and our respect as they take one bold step ahead after another. Women are emotional creatures. And that’s what makes them complicated to men. Women expect men to step up.

But men being men, we usually end up leaving our girlfriends confused and frustrated by doing silly things we believe are ‘right’ that can help us keep their attention. However, the only thing we do is push them away.

Do men make women hate them?

Being in a relationship with the woman you love can be one of the most beautiful experiences in life. When we’re in love, we look at the world from rose-tinted glasses and everything around us looks amazing and pleasing.

As we become more comfortable with our partner, they become a part of our lives and we make our best efforts to create a healthy relationship. We do things that we believe she would like, but more often than not, we end up doing things she hates. Despite our best efforts, most of the things we do are usually found deplorable by women.

Most of the time, the things we say and do will strike a nerve in our girlfriend, wife, or even a female friend. As they may not express their discomfort right away to avoid unnecessary arguments or simply because they know we mean well, we will keep doing the same thing repeatedly. 

And eventually, one day, they are going to snap, leading to a lot of arguments and toxicity in the relationship. And this will create a prominent crack in the relationship that will be hard to repair. This is why it is crucial that you know what are the things you do that irk and irritate her.

It’s high time that you stop aggravating the woman you love and understand what women want and don’t want. Here are the things you do that women hate, even though you think they like it.

1. Being overly attached

An unhealthy attachment to your partner can make your relationship toxic sooner than you can expect. Being too loving and affectionate to your girlfriend can put her off and push her away. Too much PDA or getting too handsy can make her feel uncomfortable as well.

Instead of assuming that she likes to be adored and smothered, emotionally and physically, spend more time with your girl and try to understand her love style. Make her feel comfortable around you, instead of making her feel smothered. Take things slow and observe how she reacts to you getting closer.

If she is comfortable and welcoming, then you have her permission to show your affection. If she is visibly uncomfortable or turns away, then you need to back off. It’s your responsibility to make her feel happy about the relationship. Take it as slow as she wants or you might lose her forever. Consent matters.

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2. Being too nice

There’s a difference between being a “nice guy” and a “good man”. A nice guy agrees to his woman all the time, in the hope that she will like him. Nice guys act “nice” in the expectation of getting something back in return and when their expectations are not met, they either nag or throw a temper tantrum.

Good men are “good” because that’s who they are. A good man loves his girlfriend and knows what she deserves. He treats her with respect and love while taking his own stand and maintaining his self-esteem.

Women understand this subtle difference very well and they can smell a nice guy from a mile away. Women don’t like men who put their self-respect on the line just to get approval from the opposite sex. She simply hates it when you hesitate to express your true feelings and thoughts and become excessively accommodating. 

Be a good man. Not a nice guy. Have you ever heard of a good man finishing last?

3. Not giving her space

Texting her a cute message every hour or sending her a bunch of memes you found funny every single day is not a great way to develop an attraction. Being available all the time is not a good idea. You need to give your girlfriend some space. You need to leave her alone. Let her do her thing and come to you when she wants to. Attract. Don’t pursue all the time.

It’s okay to check in on your girlfriend from time to time and send her a sweet message once in a while, but you need to understand that she has a busy life and needs time to herself. She can’t keep checking all your messages and reply to all your texts.

Have an honest conversation about boundaries and figure out things that are left unsaid. Don’t assume that if you don’t text her every 5 minutes she will forget about you. The frequency of communication is crucial in this era of social media.

4. Being friends with her squad

It’s great that you have a good rapport with your partner’s friends and even their family. This can help you significantly when developing a healthy and lasting relationship. If you intend to marry your special lady, then getting along nicely with her favorite people will make things a lot easier in the future.

However, you need to realize that they are her family and friends. And you have your own social circle.

Contrary to what you may believe, getting too close with her gang of friends or her family may feel like you are intruding in her personal life. When you build your own relationships with others in her life, your partner may feel smothered and overwhelmed. You need to maintain some healthy space and be comfortable around her people at the same time.

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5. Being the problem solver — always

There’s something she wants you to understand as her boyfriend. When she talks to you about her problems or complains about things that are bothering her, she is mostly expressing her frustrations and letting things out of her system. She is not asking you to be her hero and solve her problems for her. 

When she does, she will specifically ask you for your opinions. But unless she does, just be there and hear her out. That’s all she wants.

But as men tend to be natural problem-solvers, this can be a bit difficult for us to understand. Our intentions are pure and we just want to help her out. But, we need to realize that she only needs us to support her as she solves her own problems. The reason why she is telling you all this is because she trusts you enough to be vulnerable with you.

You are already her hero. You don’t need to prove anything. Talk to her openly and let her figure things out on her own.

6. Not taking charge enough

Amidst gender equality and being chivalrous, men have become highly confused about how to behave with women. Our instincts tell us to behave in a particular way, while society expects us to behave in a certain way. And all this can have an effect on our relationships. The key is to find a balance that allows you to be the man you are, while respecting your partner as an equal individual.

However, all this confusion can make most men take a step back in the relationship to allow her to make important decisions. Why? Because we believe that’s what she wants. We believe she enjoys making plans for our dates, she enjoys taking charge of the relationship, and she enjoys leading us towards a happier tomorrow. Only she doesn’t.

She wants to make her own decisions, not yours. She wants equal decision-making power in the relationship, not to lead it. She is still a woman and she wants you to treat her like one. She wants you to step up, take charge and be ‘The Man’. Lead your relationship. Take charge. Man up.

7. Being unemotional and dispassionate

Just like being overly affectionate can be a problem, showing too little emotion or being inexpressive can also push her away. Some men believe that being too emotional can make them appear weak to their woman. So, they tend to keep their emotions to themselves and completely close themselves off.

Although women prefer emotionally stable men, they don’t want to spend the rest of their lives with a heartless tin man. You need to find the perfect balance between being emotionally strong and being empathetic and compassionate.

The bottom line: women want to be loved.

It’s not that hard to know what women want. They just want you to love her, respect her, appreciate her, give her your attention, care for her, and cherish her.

All these things come naturally when you truly love her. As long as you see her as your equal, you can surely build a happy, long-term relationship with your girl. Of course, you will make a few mistakes along the way and you will make her mad a lot.

But she will always love you for all the efforts you take to make her happy. She knows you’re not perfect. She knows she is not perfect, either. 

Just make sure you steer clear of all the silly mistakes mentioned above and others like these. It's easy to make an assumption about what she may like, but once you know her, you will actually get a much clearer idea about what she likes and what she wants from you.

So, go ahead and make some mistakes, allow yourself to learn and mature in the relationship, and gain a better understanding about your girlfriend and her likes and dislikes. The more complicated a woman is, the more beautiful she is inside. It means she has a lot of love to give and she is careful about who she gives her love to. She doesn’t want to get her heart broken. Neither do you.

What you have with your special lady is truly amazing. So, make sure not to ruin this with assumptions. Love her like she deserves to be loved. And watch the magic unfold. You’re in for a lifelong adventure. Brace yourself.

RELATED: 5 Ways To Make The Woman In Your Life Feel Truly Loved

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Theo Harrison is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love. For more of his relationship content, visit his author profile on The Mind's Journal.

This article was originally published at The Mind's Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.