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Attraction secrets you need to know.
By The Good Men Project — Written on May 01, 2019
Whether it’s your health, your emotions, your relationships, your mind, or just the way you live life, being resistant, in this context, is just not sexy.
Here are 5 ways you can make yourself more irresistible, enjoy life, enjoy the relationships you’re in, and to be the man you were put on this earth to be.
1. Stop being resistant
I need to start with this one because to me, it’s the most obvious.
If you want to be irresistible, stop being resistant.
By this I don’t mean being constantly agreeable, having no opinion or being passive.
This is more about being resistant to change, resistant to taking the steps required for any type of self-improvement;
- your health
- your habits
- your diet
- the way you move and exercise
- even your sleep
Being the best version of you, means not being resistant to change in these areas.
You know what I’m talking about here. I don’t even need to explain.
The word resistant means ‘opposed to, hostile to, against, anti, unwilling, reluctant, unenthusiastic’.
Let me say to you, if I’m constantly and generally unenthusiastic, few people are going to want to hang around that type of energy. It’s heavy.
So conversely, imagine if you were the opposite! Enthusiastic, willing, friendly, open.
Whether you’re buying your morning coffee, or with your wife in the kitchen, the more open and friendly you are, the more attraction you are going to create.
Being irresistible is about being the type of man who others like to be in the presence of, whether it’s your wife, partner, kids, colleagues, friends, or even strangers.
Drop the resistance, stop arguing about every subject or comment that comes your way, accept what you need to do to create the best version of you possible, start practicing that, and attraction will happen naturally.
2. Back yourself
This one comes down to confidence.
We’ve all heard the saying that ‘confidence is sexy’ right?
As trite as it may sound, people who believe in themselves and have a ‘can do’ attitude to life, are much more fun to hang around.
You want those people on your team.
If you are in the habit of second-guessing yourself, thinking that you can’t, rather than ‘what if’ I could, and are constantly doubting yourself, you are going to be your own worst enemy.
So stop shooting yourself in the foot.
To become attractive, you first need to be attractive.
I can tell you, that by simply believing in who you are as a human being, with a unique offering to the world, your likeability meter is going to skyrocket, and screw the naysayers or haters.
Whether you are looking for a job or a partner, or are in a relationship currently, confidence in who you are, is going to help carry you forward and build you up.
Even if you happen to fail at something, you know you can get back up again. That’s an attractive quality.
It’s not about being the ‘alpha’ dog, this is about being grounded, real, honest, focused.
3. Stop complaining
No-one likes a whiner right, someone who just puts a damper on every idea, every possibility, every situation.
Imagine for a second, you see yourself coming toward you. What do you do? Do you welcome yourself or do you want to run?
We’ve all met people who are forever telling their story of heartache or why things never work out for them.
I’ve had conversations with people years apart, only to hear the same recurring themes, or even the exact same details being regurgitated over and over.
It’s tiring, it’s boring, it’s just not a fun place to live.
Brian is a whiner. Don’t be like Brian. You get my point.
Chronic complaining comes from people who feel powerless to do anything about their life.
It also becomes a form of false identity.
So the key to this one becomes, feeling like you have power in your life. This comes not from external sources, but from within.
4. Calm down
If you’re constantly up-regulated, anxious, nervous, or worried, it’s hard to create attraction.
To flip it again, if you’re calm and in control, others will feel calm around you.
One way of assessing yourself here is to notice your breathing.
Do you tend to breathe fast, shallow, or even hold your breath unknowingly?
If you do, you are depriving yourself of the oxygen needed to regulate your heartbeat and create strong, healthy blood flow to all parts of your body.
This creates tension and from that place, it doesn’t take much to throw you off, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
So start with noticing your breath.
Whenever you can, pause and take ten deliberate, slow, conscious breaths. Breath deep.
Feel the air and the oxygen flow into your body and calm your nervous system.
Try this when you first wake up in the morning, whenever you think about it, when you are working at your computer, and especially whenever you know you are going into a situation where you may otherwise get rattled.
Your slow, deep breathing is key to a calm mind and peaceful emotional state.
This is all about change from the inside out. Your breath is literally within you.
So is your calm. When you can start to access this inner calm, your life will change for the better.
5. Find and know your signature quality
Again, it might sound like I’m stating the obvious, but when you try to be someone you’re not, any attraction you do create will not be lasting, nor authentic.
Learn from others, add a little ‘fake it till you make it’ if you really need to, but always aim to be true to yourself, and be the man you are, the real deal.
No matter how quirky, how different, how out of the box you might be, or even how normal you just might be, accept who you are and live up to that.
Be the type of man your colleagues like to work with, your kids like to hang around with, others like the company of, your wife likes to cuddle.
Irresistibility is that signature quality about you, that makes you naturally attractive.
I liken it it to ‘mojo’. It’s what gives you your edge.
Without it, you’re like a knight without a horse or a sword. But with it, you can conquer the world.
Embrace your mojo and go be irresistible!
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Steve Hibbins is a writer who focuses on self-love and relationships. For more of his self-love content, visit his author profile on The Good Men Project.
This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.