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When women choose a husband, there are specific traits that factor into their decision.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart
Last updated on Jan 18, 2024
While there are certain things men want in a woman they’re going to marry, women are equally as curious about finding a guy who is husband material. Sometimes, we just forget that it’s a two-way street.
Just as men have their preferences, women, too, have things they tend to notice when they decide who to settle down with. There’s the kind of man you date, and the kind of man you marry. Most guys automatically assume they know what a woman wants in a man.
Unfortunately, they tend to assume the wrong things about how women choose a husband. But it's time to learn the cold, hard truth about why women marry some guys and why they don’t choose others.
Here are 10 main things women notice when choosing a husband.
1. A man’s career means a lot, but it’s not just about the money.
Here’s the truth: men with good careers are way more likely to be marriage material than men who are lazy bums. Why? Because there will be less stress from financial issues.
Additionally, having a good career shows that a man has drive and ambition of his own, and won’t just have other interests and passion in a long-term relationship. Surprise, guys — it really isn’t all about the money you make! It's all about the attitude you possess.
2. His overall life plan is a big issue.
Wise women will not marry a man who wants something entirely different in life. And that can be whether or not he wants kids, the kind of career he desires, and where he sees himself 10 years down the line.
That being said, some women will try to convince guys to change and rethink their choices, but it almost never works out well for anyone involved.
3. Of course, women look for a personality that's compatible with theirs.
There are a lot of guys, and I do mean a lot, who end up staying single or categorized as “FWB only” because their personality isn't great. That means he really has no redeeming qualities that make a woman want to settle down with him.
If you’re a guy who wants a long-term relationship ending in marriage and you already have a good career and look decent, chances are high that the reason you’re single is due to your personality or due to a lack of effort put into finding “the one.”
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4. Women want emotional stability in a future husband.
There’s a reason why guys who have a reputation for being unstable do not tend to work out well in relationships. No one wants to deal with the constant drama and messiness. Women want stability and to feel safe.
If a guy clearly has rage issues, most women will steer clear of him, especially during those first few dates.
5. A man's presentability can be a factor.
It’s not only guys who tend to choose a wife based on whether "she looks like she could be taken home to mother," you know. It's about how he presents to the people who matter most in her life, like her family and friends.
There have been many cases in which women would date, but not marry, men because they knew parents or friends wouldn’t approve of him.
6. Attitude and character are important.
No one likes a Debbie Downer. It’s so exhausting to deal with a guy who’s constantly mopey, angry, or bitter. Similarly, most women want someone they can depend on, and someone who has an honest character.
That’s why men who are more happy-go-lucky tend to get more ladies, even if their looks aren’t as good as others. This is also the reason why immature attitudes don’t tend to be considered “marriage material” by most women.
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7. Good health is a deciding factor in being marriage material.
A lot of the things that women notice when choosing a husband boil down to how healthy a man is — on both an emotional and physical level. That’s a great thing, since sickness tends to be a major stressor in relationships.
8. Good looks are significant, but it’s far from the most important thing.
Yes, a lot of women want a good-looking man. You know why? Because attraction does matter.
After all, if you’re not attracted to your spouse, you will probably be in for a bad time. And nobody wants to be in a relationship where they aren't physically attracted to their partner.
9. Many women want a husband who’s handy with chores.
No one wants to marry a guy who can’t clean up after himself or, at the least, pitch in and help out with chores. That’s gross, and it ends up making the concept of marriage sound more like a 40-year-long chore than anything else.
A relationship is 50/50, and that means putting in the work to make your living space as clean as possible.
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10. The biggest thing women want, though, is also the biggest thing men want in a spouse: love.
Unsurprisingly, the biggest aspect people take into account when they are looking to marry someone is love. After all, marriage is an institution that’s become synonymous with it, and that’s why it’s the most important thing women look for in a future husband!
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Medium, New Theory Magazine, and others.