7 Things ENFJs Need To Remember (That Other Personality Types Don't)

Photo: getty
7 Things ENFJs Need To Remember (That Other Personality Types Don't)

Keep these in mind.

As an ENFJ personality type obsessed with self-growth, I have found there are certain situations and concepts to be aware and careful of.

1. Thinking all people have good intentions

It is easy for us to see when someone has bad intentions, but we will still give them multiple chances because we are able to see the glimmer of good and take into account their feelings. This is because of our involuntary empathy. This leads me to my next thing to be careful about.

RELATED: 7 Unique ENFJ Personality Traits That Make It One Of The Rarest Myers Briggs Personality Types

2. Not everyone has to be your friend

This concept took me awhile. I thought happiness was driven by human communication and connections. Sometimes, we want to be friends with so many people that we forget the few that are most important and the ones that really make us happy. Some people just suck and they don’t want to be friends with us because they don’t understand us. This is okay. They weren’t worth it anyway.

3. Don’t take things too personally

In order to grow, we have to learn to not take everything so personally. We really need to focus on what makes us happy instead of what makes others happy, sometimes. 

It’s pretty easy to hurt an ENFJ’s feelings if people don’t agree with us, don’t want to be our friend, or have views that differ from ours. Learning that every perception is important will help when learning to just go with the flow and protect your feelings.

4. You are not always right

Being a judging type with efficient life systems and developed theoretically problem-solving abilities, an ENFJ may often believe that we are absolutely right and our opinion becomes hard to change. It is almost impossible for us to see the other side because we are so focused on the fact that we have data and feelings to back up our argument. This is where it is important to see perceptions of everyone and learn that collaboration is what gets things moving, not one person saving the world.

Listen to others without getting heated and over emotional. If one situation happens in a room of ten people, ten situations took place.

RELATED: If You Have These 13 Characteristics, You Belong To The Most Giving Personality Type

5. Strong emotions

I think similar to an INFP, ENFJ’s have VERY strong emotions. This will lead us to not only be super excited about going the beach with our friends but also get our feelings EXTREMELY hurt if people don’t invite us places or we heard that they criticized our behavior. For this reason, it’s best to be aware that although your emotions are valid, use your Ni and Ti rather than Fe to sort through them logically. Learning logical emotional control will help an ENFJ grow.

6. Don’t Get Lost In Ti

ENFJs can get lost inside their head with Ti. This leads to over-thinking most situations, sometimes to the point of creating unnecessary anxiety. Learn how to use Ti to logistically analyze, but don’t always assume the worst. Ti combined with our other functions allows us to think of ten or more possible outcomes of every situation which can be a good thing if we think about the positives rather than focusing on fixing the negatives.

7. Introverts will not like you if you aren’t genuine

In order to get inside an introvert’s head, you can’t just smooth over some random small talk and average social skills. You have to disclose real information.

One thing I often see is that people do not think ENFJ’s are genuine people because of our ability to adapt to certain situations. INFP’s and INTJ’s especially see through this technique. Learn to just be yourself and the ones that like your real self will appreciate and love you for you.

Those are just a few things I have learned. I think an important part of being an ENFJ is understanding how to use your feelings, logic, and problem-solving abilities to grow and become an awesome friend, colleague, family member, etc. Our Fe means feelings of the environment and world are most important to us. It’s why we are social justice slayers and fierce advocates.

Just learn to be you, do what you like, and love hard. Don’t get caught in the "what if’s."

RELATED: Your Biggest Strengths & Weaknesses, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Aman Mishra is a college student, YouTuber, and psychology enthusiast. He writes to spread the positivity in the world.

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.