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You're one of a kind.
By aman mishra — Written on Apr 20, 2018
When it comes to Myers Briggs, the ENFJ personality type is driven by a deep sense of altruism and empathy for other people. They have an intuitive sense of the emotions of others, and often act as an emotional barometer for the people around them.
However, their compassion not reserved for the people close to them: they are often humanitarian in nature, and may feel genuine concern for the ills of the entire human race. They tend to personally experience the feelings of others and feel compelled to act when they see people suffering.
ENFJs want close, supportive connections with others, and believe that cooperation is the best way to get things done. They like to be liked and are very sensitive to feedback, both positive and negative. They expect the best not just from themselves, but from others as well, and may find themselves disappointed when others are not as genuine in their intentions as the ENFJ. ENFJs work hard to maintain strong relationships and strive to be valuable members of their families, groups, and communities.
1. Their personality lives for other people.
An ENFJ’s world is formed by other people. Their entire life’s motivation is made up externally of human situations and relationships. ENFJs constantly want to help other people to be the best they can be, to make things right in their worlds, and to enable and empower them. ENFJs are great empathizers and they can easily understand other people’s feelings, perspectives, and needs. ENFJs feel that they are following their life’s path when they’re bringing out the best in others. ENFJs work and feel others for selflessly.
2. They are more reserved than other extroverts.
ENFJs are quite simple but still, they are more reserved than the other normal extrovert people. Though they listen to everybody’s feelings, love talks, pain, etc., they generally do not express themselves much in front of others. If an ENFJ worries that their own self-expression would stifle someone else’s, they will step back to allow the other person to shine. An ENFJ’s top priority is always to bring out the best in others, so they only show the parts of themselves that they feel will benefit that goal.
3. They sometimes feel alone even when surrounded by people.
This point sounds quite unusual for any type of extrovert. But in the case of ENFJ, they sometimes feel alone in a group of thousands of people or in a party or even surrounded by their friends. They get lost in their own thoughts, own world, own dreams. They place so much of their energy and focus on other people that they might not understand themselves. This will be especially true for those ENFJs who hold back parts of themselves in order to protect others. ENFJs who feel this way might go to extreme lengths to never be alone.
4. Their people skills can be used for good or evil.
ENFJs have such amazing people skills that they can usually make people do anything they want them to do. Since the majority of ENFJs are truly concerned with the welfare of others, it is rare that an ENFJ will use this ability for evil. But they do have this power and may exert more control over others than they realize. ENFJs are so amazing and charismatic that they don’t put much effort to change the minds of other people into their way.
5. Their self-esteem takes more frequent hits than you would think.
ENFJs get their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem from an external source: other people. They feel productive when they’re able to make everyone around them happy, and they feel fulfilled by their compassion and deep connections with other people. Although ENFJs have a great aptitude for influencing others, it’s never possible to completely control other people, so this is an inherently fragile situation. An ENFJ’s self-confidence will be shaken when they’re not able to help people, or if their attempts at help are criticized and rejected.
6. They can overburden themselves with other people's problems.
ENFJs usually overburden themselves with others' problems, anxiety, and pain. ENFJs will probably agree to help you even if they don’t have the time or energy available. Many people will come to an ENFJ for help, assistance, or advice, and the ENFJ is always happy to help. Sometimes there will be too many requests, but ENFJs feel terrible when they have to turn someone away.If you are an ENFJ personality type then you definitely understand the way you overburden yourself. This is good sometimes, but sometimes not so much.
7. They can see right through you.
As ENFJs go through life, they get better and better at reading people. They are very good at recognizing other people’s motivations, desires, and emotions. Since their primary interest in life is to help people improve, it’s a natural skill that they develop over time. People who have an ENFJ in their life sometimes feel exposed because they feel like the person with the ENFJ personality sees right through them. While this level of understanding can be a great help in developing new relationships, it can also be smothering once both people know each other well.
ENFJ is one of the less common personality types in the population, especially for men. Among men, ENFJ is the second rarest type. ENFJs make up:
- 3% of the general population
- 3% of women
- 2% of men
Famous ENFJs include Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Margaret Mead, Ralph Nader, Abraham Maslow, Dr. Phil McGraw, and Martin Luther King Jr.
Aman Mishra is a college student, YouTuber, and psychology enthusiast. He writes to spread the positivity in the world.
This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.