10 Signs You're A People-Pleaser (And It's Sucking The Life Out Of You)

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unhappy woman

It's understandable to want to be liked by everyone you meet — it's healthy even.

What's not healthy is letting people walk all over you and putting yourself down so you can make others feel better about themselves.

You need to realize that the only person you have is yourself, and you need to make yourself happy.

You can't run around trying to get everyone to like you because that's impossible.

Here are 10 signs to look for that signal you're a people-pleaser and it's sucking the life out of you:

1. Making excuses for other people

Stop rationalizing bad behavior by others towards you. Don’t make excuses for putting up with poor treatment. Some people will be mean and manipulative by taking advantage of your kindness. Don’t keep giving them chances to exploit your empathy for their own gains.

2. Keeping the peace at all costs

You may be peace-loving but sometimes you need to fight back. Stop avoiding conflict. Choose to assert yourself even if you hate confrontation. If you allow yourself to be walked over, some people may mistake your niceness for weakness.

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3. Not expressing what you really feel

Express, express, express. As long as you are not intentionally harming anyone, say what you really feel. You don’t always have to be polite for fear of rocking the boat. Sometimes you need to speak your mind, irrespective of what someone else thinks of you.

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4. Trying to be perfect

Get in touch with your authentic self. Tap into your innermost thoughts and emotions. Stop putting others on a pedestal while you beat yourself up over your own flaws. Accept your weaknesses, and remind yourself that no one can be perfect all the time.

5. Making everyone happy

Stop trying to please everyone. At the end of the day, someone is always going to have a problem with who you are and what you do. You can’t make everyone happy. Stop caring what others think of you, and do the right thing.

6. Succumbing to emotional abuse

Recognize when you are being dominated, betrayed, guilt-tripped, or made to feel bad about yourself. Stop letting anyone project their own insecurities onto you. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. End the vicious cycle of victim-perpetrator by stepping out of it.

7. Assuming that the world is a fair place

Stop living in denial and face the reality of the situation. Don’t let your naivety and excessive idealism blind you from seeing the truth. The first step towards freeing yourself is knowing the difference between good and evil, recognizing what is right and wrong.

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8. Saying Yes when you want to say No

Don’t let anyone make you feel wrong about standing up for yourself.

You have a voice, you deserve an opinion, and your sense of self-worth is not dependent on external approval. Stop letting anyone make you feel guilty for turning them down.

9. Putting other’s needs before your own

Your needs are as important as anyone else’s. You are human just like everyone else. There is a limit to the sacrifices and compromises you can make. Don’t lose yourself trying to give other people what they are unable to give themselves.

10. Thinking that you are not enough

You are worthy of all the wonderful things that life has to offer. As long as you strive to become a better person every day, you are good enough. Reclaim your own power, assume responsibility for your mind and body, and take over the driver’s wheel of your own life.

Nikita Mor is a writer on lifestyle and relationship topics. Check out her website and follow her on Instagram.

This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.