185 Funny Instagram Captions For Your Favorite Selfies & Pics

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185 Funny Instagram Captions For Your Favorite Selfies & Pics
Contributor
Self

We see selfies all over Instagram, and when you feel like posting one of yourself with a humorous touch, you may struggle to think of funny Instagram captions for your photos.

What makes a good Instagram caption?

A good Instagram caption is short but sweet. You're trying to captivate followers mid-scroll, not give them a full-length essay to read!

Instagram might give you over 2,000 characters, but let’s follow Twitter’s 280 characters or less — and that includes hashtags and emojis. Give your followers a good giggle in as few words as possible, and feel free to edit these captions to make them personal to you. Your followers want to hear what you have to say. 

RELATED: 50 Funny Quotes About Life To Use As Your Next Instagram Caption

Whether you want to build up your social media following or are looking for new ways to engage with your followers, funny captions are way more interesting than just saying "mood" or "hey."

It's social media. It's okay to have some fun with it! 

Funny Quotes For Instagram Captions

1. "My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."

2. "I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."

3. "I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."

4. "An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough."

5. "I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life!"

6. "I miss you like an idiot misses the point."

7. "If you can't remember my name, just say, 'chocolate...' I'll turn around."

8. "If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?"

9. "That awkward moment when you're wearing Nikes and you can't do it."

10. "Just dropped my new single! It's me. I'm single."

11. "I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere."

12. "They call it a 'selfie' because 'narcissisitie' is too hard to spell."

13. "Be savage, not average."

14. "Bikini season is right around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the pizza place."

15. "Never let a man treat you anything less than Beyoncé."

16. "I'm not weird. I'm limited edition."

17. "Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"

18. "Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."

19. "Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you."

20. "Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin."

21. "I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around."

22. "Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies."

23. "I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands."

24. "Every 60 seconds, there's a b**** posting a positive message that she doesn't live by."

25. "Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starbust. You're a pink Starburst."

26. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” —A. A. Milne

27. “I am only human, although I regret it.” —Mark Twain

28. “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

29. “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.” —Drake

30. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” —Ernest Hemingway

31. “You’re only as good as your last haircut.” —Fran Lebowitz

32. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” —George Carlin

33. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” —Gertrude Stein

34. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.” —Jeffree Star

35. “Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.” —Jessica Simpson

36. “If I was you, I’d wanna be me, too.” —Meghan Trainor

RELATED: The 50 Best Funny Quotes To Share With Your Friends

Funny Instagram Captions For Friends

37. I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.

38. I’m not fat. I’m just easier to see. 

39. We will be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes.

40. You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”

41. Finding friends with same level of crazy is priceless.

42. Friends knock on the door, best friends walk into your house and start eating.

43. Friends don't let friends do stupid things... alone.

44. The "she" to my "-nanigans."

45. We’ll be friends forever because you already know too much.

46. I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through 47 walls and haunt our enemies.

48. Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep annoying them.

49. You know we're close if you see the selfies I don't like.

50. Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

51. A good friend is there to bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting next to you in the cell. 

52. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

53. A best friend is like your favorite bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, and close to your heart.

54. Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas. 

55. Behind every great woman is an even better friend to approve her selfies. 

56. You don’t have to be crazy to be my best friend, but if you’re not, you probably wouldn’t want to be friends with me anyway.

57. Real friends don't care if your room is clean. They’re the ones messing it up.

58. Besides pizza, you're my favorite.

59. Life’s short and so are we.

60. We finish each other's sandwiches.

61. I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell. You see, I have friends in both places.

62. Non-biological sibs.

63. When worst comes to worst, squad comes first.

64. Friends who slay together, stay together.

65. Grateful she/he is okay being seen in public with me. 

66. Victoria’s Secret models, we comin’ for your careers.

67. Putting the "we" in weird

68. Nobody has to like us. We like us.

69. In squad we trust.

70. Kinda classy, kinda hood.

71. As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall... after I finish laughing.

72. Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.

73. Well-behaved people don't make it into history books.

74. My friends are the family I chose. And I’ve regretted that choice ever since.

75. No one will ever be as entertained by us as us.

76. Friends are therapists you can drink with.

77. You're allowed to have other friends. You just have to love me more.

78. If you hurt my friend I can make your death look like an accident.

79. Friends are the bacon bits of the salad bowl of life.

80. Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.

Funny Instagram Captions For Selfies

81. I thought I was indecisive while choosing this photo but now I’m not so sure. 

82. The bags under my eyes are Gucci.

83. Shout out to me.

84. As long as my bank account keeps growing, I couldn’t care less about anything else.

85. Know your worth but don’t forget to add tax.

86. Don’t be upsetti, eat some spaghetti.

87. *Insert witty Instagram caption here*

88. When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade then sell it.

89. I may be down to earth but I’m still above you.

90. They call me ranch ‘cause I be dressing.

91. Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.

92. Somedays I amaze myself. Today is not one of those days.

93. Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

94. I'm not lazy, I'm just on save energy mode.

95. Don’t be average, be savage.

96. Mirror: you look amazing today. Camera: No, you don’t.

97. This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

98. If I don’t post a picture, did it even really happen?

99. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the filter.

100. I’m just a girl standing in front of a camera asking if this is Instagram-worthy?

101. I got 99 problems, but a bad angle ain't one.

102. They say nobody’s perfect. Guess what? I’m nobody.

103. Some supermodels are gonna feel really worried about their jobs when they see this. 

104. I think my soulmate might be carbs.

105. I don’t think inside the box. I don’t think outside the box either. I don’t even know where the box is.

106. 99% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it.

107. Just pretend there’s a funny caption here, like this, and we’ll never speak of it again. 

108. I got that Friday feeling. Shame it’s only Monday. 

109. I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!

110. PSA: I did not wake up like this.

111. Be a stiletto in a room of flats.

112. More issues than Vogue.

113. Humble with a hint of Kanye.

114. Felt cute. Will not be deleting later.

115. I have no selfie control.

RELATED: 30 Confident, Sassy Quotes That Make The Perfect Instagram Caption For Your Next Selfie

Funny Instagram Captions For Couples

116. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

117. Ain’t McDonald’s, but I’m lovin’ it.

118. I’m the Queen/King. She/he is a loyal servant.

119. What's a queen without her king? Historically speaking, more powerful. 

120. If good things come to those who wait, I’m gonna be an hour late to our date.

121. I knew it was meant to be when I loved you even when I was hungry. 

122. You have stolen a pizza my heart.

123. All I need is you. (And maybe wine + chocolate, too.)

124. I will do anything for love. Except that. And that. Or that. Or...

125. Don't tell me you love me. Tell me you're outside with wine.

126. To all my friends that I promised I’d never post a cheesy couples pic: Keep scrolling. 

127. 7 billion people on this planet and I somehow got stuck with you.

128. This all started with Netflix and chill.

129. This is the exact kind of couple post that single me would have rolled my eyes at. 

130. I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband does when the baby’s not sleeping.

131. I knew I had to make you mine when you laughed at my jokes.

132. Sharing is caring. That’s why he/she always gives me the last slice of pizza.

133. It’s hard being the brain and the looks in the relationship, but I always pull through.

134. And to think I was considering ghosting you.

135. I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.

136. Thank you, Tinder.

137. Thank you Tinder. We didn’t meet on there but it definitely taught me who not to date.

138. This one followed me home. Can I keep them?

139. He's not perfect, but at least he's not from my hometown.

140. I know I'm a handful, but that's why you've got two hands.

141. A relationship is when one person is always right and the other person is the boyfriend.

142. We go together like hot sauce and everything.

143. We’re both willing to risk the cooties.

144. Relationships are just two people constantly asking one another what they want to eat, until one of them dies.

145. I’m always in a better place with you. Thanks for cleaning up.

146. We make a really great couple. Well, at least that’s what everyone’s saying.

147. I guess now is a bad time to say I’m not looking for anything serious?

148. You stole my heart but I don’t want it back.

149. I love you like Kanye loves Kanye.

150. We’re going to make a cute old couple. At least I hope so because we’re not looking too great right now. 

151. World’s most annoying couple.

152. Kind of cute. Kind of cringe.

153. You may not always answer my texts but you answered my prayers. 

Funny Instagram Captions For Birthdays

154. This is the best reason to eat cake.

155. I hope the birthday cake is as sweet as our friendship.

156. Another year wiser... not.

157. She been breaking hearts since [year of birth].

158. In the word of Marie Antoinette, “Let them eat cake.”

159. Go shawty, it’s your birthday.

160. Still got it. 

161. Life’s better when you’re [insert age].

162. Experience level: [insert age].

163. Having my cake and eating it, too.

164. Don’t worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower.

165. Chin up darling, your tiara’s falling. It’s your birthday!

166. It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

167. Birthday mood!

168. Time to drink champagne and dance on the tables.

169. I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic.

170. Just here for the cake.

171. It's your birthday, turnip the beet.

172. Don't count the years — make the years count.

173. Birthday candles aren't the only things getting lit this weekend.

174. The party don’t start 'til I walk in.

175. Still wild after all these years.

176. Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!

177. Older and wiser!

178. Gonna party like it's my birthday... oh wait, it is!

179. I don't get older, I level up.

180. Aging like a fine wine.

181. Happy birthday. May your Facebook be filled with messages from people you never talk to.

182. "It's your birthday, you don't have to do nothin'." —Destiny's Child, "Birthday"

183. Today is my birthday but I'll take gifts whenever.

184. Birthdays are good for me. The more I have, the longer I live.

185. Old enough that I need a filter on this photo.

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Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer, comedian, and television producer who writes about the humor that life can throw our way. Visit her website for more.