100 Funny Happy Birthday Quotes & Wishes For Best Friends

Photo: Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
funny happy birthday quotes and wishes for best friends

You wake up one day and realize that this day is more special than other days — it's your best friend's birthday!

Blow up her Facebook and Instagram with the best funny Happy Birthday quotes and happy birthday wishes to make her smile and feel special from the moment she wakes up.

She may be your very own sister or your sister from another mister, but your best friend is one of the most special people in your life. She has been there with you for so many memories, both good and bad. You have had wild times getting into fun trouble and being partners in crime. You have had amazing experiences, and you have been supportive through all of the hard times.

The bottom line is that your best friend is important to you, and you want to show her you care, especially on her birthday.

You could bake her a cake, you could buy her an awesome gift (maybe something she has been hinting at for a while or something sentimental that would make her smile), or you could take her out for drinks and dinner.

It can be tough to celebrate your best friend's birthday if you're far apart, but that doesn't mean you still can't do something special! It doesn't have to be anything big or fancy, you can just say a few small things and the rest will be taken care of.

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If you're running out of 'Happy Birthday, friend!' funny quotes for your number one, look no further!

Here's a list of the 100 best happy birthday wishes and quotes to share with your very best friend!

Funny Birthday Wishes For Best Friends

These happy, funny birthday wishes to send your friends on social media are sweet and hilarious. And they make for the perfect happy birthday quotes to include in their birthday card.

1. "May you live to be so old that the mere sight of you horrifies young children and ex-lovers."

2. "I will sing Happy Birthday to you so much you'll wish you'd never been born... Happy Birthday!"

3. "Late in the evening, far, far away there is a glow beyond the horizon, and I know deep in my heart... It's your birthday cake."

4. "Knowing someone as fabulous as me should be the only present you need."

5. "Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder."

6. "I hope your birthday is as awesome as your hair in high school."

7. "Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays."

8. "Happy birthday to a person that is charming, talented and witty, and reminds me a lot of myself."

9. "You were born on this date, so we are going to put fire sticks in baked goods and sing at you while you sit there awkwardly."

10. "Happy birthday. Thank you for always being older than me."

11. "May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you've never met, haven't seen in years, or genuinely couldn't care any less about."

12. "It is your birthday! Remember that researchers have said that birthdays are good for your health and people who have more birthdays live longer. May you get more birthdays."

13. "I would wish for all of your dreams to come true, but then it would be tough for me to find out a wish for you next year, so let me just say happy birthday!"

14. "Today would have been the perfect occasion to write sweet words about the greatest, most spectacular, uniquely exquisite friend in the world, but I already finished my autobiography a month ago."

15. "You make me feel so young when we're together. Thanks for being born first."

16. "I'm so glad we've managed to make this friendship work despite the generational difference."

17. "Woah, time flies when you're having fun! How'd we get so old?"

18. "I'm such a good friend, I forgot how old you are."

19. "Our self-esteem is supposed to peak at 60. 'Til then, there are always birthday messages from near-strangers on Facebook to make us feel seen."

20. "If everyone aged like you, Botox would be obsolete!"

21. "You age like fine wine."

22. "No one wears your age like you do."

23. "This year is the year you're too old for presents, right?"

24. "At our age, drinking and eating cake isn't anything special. That's just called Thursday night. Hope your birthday is extraordinary!"

25. "You don't look a day over 30. Wait, today's the big 3-0?"

26. "At this age, hangovers don't hit like they used to. So make sure you cancel all your plans for tomorrow."

27. "At this point, birthdays are more like cruel reminders than celebrations. Let's make the best of it!"

28. "Does this mean we have to start going on cruises for our annual trips?"

29. "At 21, we looked forward to drinking. At 25, we could rent a car. Now the next milestone is... discount dining at Denny's."

30. "I got tired of counting candles on your birthday cake so we can just relight a few times."

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Funny Happy Birthday Quotes For Best Friends

This selection of super-funny birthday wishes for best friends will make your closest friends smile and laugh all day long.

31. "Here's to another year of laughing until it hurts, dealing with stupid people, and keeping each other moderately sane. Happy birthday best friend!"

32. "Happy birthday to one of my best friends! Here's to laughing at our own jokes and keeping each other sane! Love ya."

33. "Happy birthday to my best friend. Without our conversations, my therapy bills would be outrageous."

34. "Can't keep calm, it's my best friend's birthday."

35. "You don't have birthdays — you level up! Happy level up day to my best friend."

36. "Happy birthday to my best friend. Here's to another year of spilling tea and making fun of other people's Facebook posts."

37. "Happy birthday to my best friend ever! May your troubles be as few and far between as my grandmother's teeth."

38. "You are my best friend, my human diary, and my other half. Good thing your other half is so wonderful."

39. "Happy birthday to a person who regularly makes me pee myself with laughter. By the way, that's going to happen more and more the older we get."

40. "Happy birthday, best friend! It is amazing the number of years we have known each other. Why have we put up with each other for so long? Do you think it’s because we like each other? Nope, it’s quite simple, we just know too many of each other’s secrets."

41. "May you grow old and rich, so that you can leave me a big inheritance."

42. "I promise I'll tell you if you start turning into your mother/father if you do the same for me."

43. "Remember that pact we made about getting married if we're still single by 35? Well, you better put a ring on it."

44. "From now on, we're only doing brunch. Bedtime is 9:30."

45. "I've always been able to trust you with all of my secrets, and now, even more so, because I'm not sure you'll remember them!"

46. "I always knew we'd be friends till we were old and gray... but the gray part came a lot sooner than I expected."

47. "I'm so glad I found you all those years ago. Making friends at this age would suck."

48. "The older I get, the more I dislike people. Glad you made the cut before it was too late!"

49. "Please promise me you'll never be one of those people our age who shocks me with how grown up they act."

50. "The good news: we've been friends for all these years. The bad news: it's been a lot of years."

51. "Remember when we thought wine was so sophisticated? Now it's the only thing people our age drink."

52. "From now on we should give our ages in Roman numerals. We'll sound smart, and it will take people a while to figure out how old we are."

53. "Like any good friend, I got you only the most practical gifts... prune juice, Depends, and a whole lot of alcohol."

54. "What's the age rule for dating? Half your age plus seven years? So for you that's... never mind. If I say they're too young, they're too young."

RELATED: How To Write A Birthday Paragraph For Your Best Friend On Instagram (& 41 Good Examples You Can Use)

Funny Birthday Wishes For Female Friends

Every woman needs her birthday to feel special, so look to these cute, funny birthday wishes for your female friends to go along with their birthday present.

55. "May your special day be sweet and spicy just like you, bestie!"

56. "Happy birthday to my best friend. May we grow to be the hottest cougars around!"

57. "You know everything about me and still decide to be my best friend... you are a deeply disturbed woman, you know that right? Happy birthday!"

58. "Actually, I wanted to get you something super special, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope."

59. "Count your blessings, not your wrinkles."

60. "May your hair dye and mascara never run! Happy Birthday!"

61. "Cheers to a woman who stays young! (Only because she lies about her age.) Best wishes!"

62. "Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years. You don’t have that kind of time!"

63. "We have stuck by each other through thick and thin. We’ve been there for each other all these years and we’re still better together than apart. That says something, don’t you think? Stay fabulous, babe."

64. "Happy birthday to someone good looking, super smart, charismatic, and charming. Wait... I meant from someone."

65. "[insert age] is a perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!"

66. "We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence! Happy birthday!"

67. "Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional."

68. "I’m so glad that we are growing older together, and that you’ll always have a head start!"

69. "We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile... and then we can be *new* friends!"

70. "You've reached the age where your pregnancy would be labeled 'geriatric.' I think that's just the universe telling you, don't have kids. Stay wild and free with your BFF forever."

71. "Welcome to spinsterhood, girlfriend!"

72. "Remember when we watched '13 Going on 30' and thought 30 was so old?"

73. "Girl, you are thirty, flirty, and... surviving."

74. "You've always been the mom friend... but now you're at the right age for the role!"

75. "I'm sorry to inform you, we're officially too old to crush on Harry Styles."

76. "At what age do we have to stop having slumber parties? Asking for a friend. It's me. Your friend."

77. "Why does the dancing queen have to be 17? The dancing queen should be whatever age you are."

78. "I know we haven't aged in spirit because Taylor Swift songs still hit the same."

79. "Remember when we thought dad bods were hot? Now they're our only dating option."

80. "You've always been able to rock any hair color... gray included!"

81. "When we were younger, old lady stuff like crochet was cute and quirky. Soon it's just going to be expected of us."

82. "You're officially too old to shop at Forever 21."

83. "I wanted to get you the cast of 'Magic Mike' but they were too expensive. So I'll just call the fire department when you start cooking tonight instead."

84. "You used to get so annoyed when you were carded by every bartender. Now you'll thank them!"

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Funny Birthday Wishes For Male Friends

When your best friend is a guy, you may struggle with getting him the perfect birthday gift. But if he's your BFF, he no doubt has a sense of humor and will enjoy these hilarious birthday wishes.

85. "Best friends never need to be told they are best friends. So, I don't need to tell you, right? Have a fantastic birthday, buddy!"

86. "It's your birthday. Let's do something stupid together."

87. "May God give you the appetite to enjoy your big day to the max, despite the fact that you are older and wrinklier today than you were yesterday."

88. "For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life."

89. "You see, you should not be ashamed of growing old, not only you get to play the smart guy all the time, but all antiques like you also have great value! Happy birthday old man!"

90. "On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship... and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything."

91. "Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Happy birthday!"

92. "Two tips for your birthday: 1. Forget the past, you can't change it. 2. Forget the present, I didn't get you one!"

93. "To my friend on his birthday: I want you to know that I’ve always looked up to you. Yes, you’re taller than me, but I’ve always admired your style and impeccable grooming. By the way, time to trim that nose hair."

94. "Happy birthday to one of my favorite guys! I hope your day is as awesome as you are. And yes, I know that sappy stuff makes you cringe. But we don’t always get what we want for our birthday, do we?"

95. "May your birthday rock as hard as you did in marching band."

96. "Only XX years 'til you can get that mid-life crisis car!"

97. "Hey man, look on the bright side: you're almost old enough to start dating someone half your age."

98. "Happy birthday to a dear friend who has never acted their age. Never change."

99. "In the Victorian Age, we would be almost dead!"

100. "Finding an age-appropriate gift was a challenge... nothing is fun anymore."

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Molly Given is a writer living in Philadelphia, and lover of all things to do with mystery and magic in life. When she’s not writing her fingers off, she can be found planning her next adventure in a new part of the world.