8 Signs Your Codependent Tendencies Push Men Away (And Leave You Alone And Heartbroken)

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codependent relationship
Love, Self

You're not acting like an equal.

You call it caring and say you just want to be close to your partner, but your partner finds it clingy and suffocating. You say you two are a team, but your partner feels you are too reliant on him.

There are things called closeness and connection, and then there are things called clinginess and codependency. A partnership requires two people to work together and rely on one another, but it does not call for people to be each other’s “sole” happiness.

When someone relies on another person for all her happiness, this is a codependent relationship, and it’s not cute. You may not even realize that you have these tendencies, but they’re ultimately ruining your relationship.

RELATED: 17 Signs You're Codependent (AKA Addicted To Relationships)

Here are 8 signs your codependency is a problem and is sabotaging a perfectly good thing.

1. Your partner asks you to make decisions on your own.

There are some decisions that require you to both hash out, of course, but you can’t think for yourself. You ask your partner to weigh in on everything, and it’s annoying. If your partner is pushing you to make choices by yourself, he is trying to get you to be a little independent.

It’s good to weigh in with a partner, but if you can’t even change your clothes without consulting, you are codependent.

2. Your partner feels bad seeing his friends.

Do you get mad when your partner sees his friends? Do you text him constantly while he's out? Does your partner tell you that you’re being a pest? Is your partner suddenly avoiding bringing up nights out with friends, or asking at the last minute in an anxious manner?

You may not mean to, but you’re pushing this person away by clinging so hard. Why don’t you trust your partner with his friends?

3. Your partner wonders why you don’t believe he loves you.

Are you reaching out for constant reassurance? Does it seem like your partner can’t love you enough? Does he ask you why you don’t seem to believe his feelings for you? Your codependency makes you so needy that you’re creating unnecessary issues and doubts in your relationship.

4. Your partner has said he feels like a caretaker, not a partner.

If your partner refers to you as someone to care for and you’re not sick, you have to wonder if you’ve made it so you’re dependent on this person to care and do everything for you. Again, mutual care and consideration is key in a relationship, but someone acting like your mom or dad is not.

RELATED: What It's Really Like To Be In A Codependent Marriage

5. Your partner has said he walks on eggshells with you.

This can be a dead sign that your nature is so fragile that your mood requires your partner to behave a certain way. A fragile nature can indicate a lot of things, but one of them can be codependency.

Your partner should be comfortable to be who he is and not feel like your relationship is a daily tightrope act.

6. Your partner feels like your only friend, and has said so.

He shouldn’t be the only person in your life you have a connection to. Yet, your partner has commented that you don’t speak to your friends, or has suggested that you try to make friends.

You can’t rely on one person to be your everything. It’s not fair and it’s not realistic. It will crack your partner and end your relationship.

7. Your partner calls all the shots.

You never make a decision or lead any initiative with each other or others. Your partner is always the one to call the shots. Not only is this a sign that your partner might be controlling, but it's a red flag of a codependent relationship.

Relying on someone all the time changes your relationship dynamic from sexual and romantic, to one with a “parenting” nature.

8. Your partner knows everything, and you know nothing.

You blindly follow whatever your partner does and, in most cases, you don’t really know much about the finances. You’re simply depending on this person to do the right thing and are not confident enough in yourself to believe that adding your two cents or contribution will matter.

The reality is, you’re making it so your partner doesn’t even need you, because he already does everything alone.

RELATED: 7 Signs You're Addicted To Love (And How To Stop The Toxic Cycle Of Obsession)

Laura Lifshitz will work for chocolate. The former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate is currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more for YourTangoNew York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more. Her own website is frommtvtomommy.com.