Sex

The Intense Connection That Happens When You're With A 'Sexual Vampire' — And How To Finally Detach

Photo: 4PM production / shutterstock.com 
woman and man about to kiss

Perhaps you walked into the bar, ready to meet up with your friends to have a good time or to just sit quietly, have a drink and unwind. Maybe you were not prepared for the amazing connection you felt with the stranger who sat beside you, gazed into your eyes and introduced themselves.

The physical attraction was like nothing you’ve ever felt. It was lust at first sight — that began to feel like love — even though you had never met this person before.

They were engaging, attentive and reeled you in even more with every smile they flashed at you. After a while, you may have noticed that you were no longer thinking clearly and it had nothing to do with the few sips of wine you took.

That's what it feels like to meet a sexual vampire. If you actually hooked up with them it only got more intense.

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All of your focus was on how attractive this person was, how they set your body on fire and the growing need to have sex with who you feel may just be the person you have been looking for your whole life.

With your defenses down and your lust consuming you like a bonfire within, you agree to leave with this person and go somewhere private to for intimacy and it’s the best sex you ever had.

Never before had you been so caught up in what seemed like unending pleasure. It was beyond your wildest fantasy and left you feeling like you were floating on a cloud, physically drained but happy as you drifted off to sleep.

That wonderful feeling ends when you wake up alone, drained, and feeling like you have a hangover even though you barely drank your wine. You also feel a desperate need to reconnect with last night’s lover so you grab your phone and send what you hope is not a too needy sounding text, thanking them for a great night and wondering when you can reconnect.

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When your text goes unanswered, you follow up with a phone call that goes straight to voicemail.

You leave a message with the hopes they call back but no response comes even though your need to reconnect is growing. It feels almost like your life is dependent on being with this person again and you can’t understand why you have connected so deeply to someone you just met.

As time goes on with no responses from your texts and calls, you sink into a depression. Your friends think you have lost your mind. After all, how could you be so heartbroken over a one night stand?

You have repeatedly asked yourself the same question, wondering if you have in fact lost your mind. It’s not your fault that you feel this way. Chances are you were with a sexual energy vampire and may feel like you're as addicted to their energy as a heroin addict is to heroin.

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Four signs you may have been with a sexual vampire

1. You felt the charm instantly. 

Pretty much everyone has heard of energy vampires and to be fair, everyone requires energy to survive. Most people get it from food, or being in nature, exercising, and other non-harmful ways. But there are those who thrive on taking energy from other humans and sexual energy vampires are some of the most insidious.

Just like the vampires we see in the movies who are able to charm and manipulate their victims into a space where they can take their blood, sexual energy vampires emanate that same type of charm to seduce you and get access to your sexual energy.

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2. You feel bound to them even after your encounter.

After they have fed from you, they can also place an energy cord within your energetic field to continue to drain your energy and bind you to them. Our chakras represent energy centers and each one has specific energies that fuel us in various ways. Our sacral chakra which is located in the groin area contains the energy of creation as well as our physical sexual organs.

Sexual energy vampires will typically place an energy cord that extends from their sacral chakra to yours that acts like a feeding tube to send your energy to them at their will. This can cause pain or cramping in the groin area and a host of digestion issues from stomach upset to intestinal distress.

Because this energy helps to create the life that you want, having it drained can actually interfere with your ability to work and create success, happiness or whatever brings you fulfillment.

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3. You find yourself in an emotionally distressed state of mind after being with them.

The sacral chakra also represents the emotional body of the aura. That means your emotions are also being affected, keeping you in a distressed emotional state.

Placing cords in this area keeps you emotionally attached to the vamp to focus your attention on them even more and give them the added benefit of feeding on your emotions.

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4. You develop a longing to be with them again.

The truly greedy sex vamps will also attach cords to your root chakra which represents life force energy as well as your heart chakra to keep you longing for them. They can also attach to your 3rd eye which represents psychic abilities but also how you see the future. 

This causes you to keep thinking about them in the future. Attaching their cords to these areas helps keep your heart, mind and sexual energy focused on them so that you are unwittingly providing them with a continuous buffet of energy.

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How do you get over a sex vamp and reclaim your life? Here are three steps.

1. Don’t take it personally.

After experiencing the devastation of being with a sex vamp, it is very easy to feel you may have done something wrong which kept them from returning. You didn’t. Sex vamps are much like mosquitos. They drain your blood while injecting their saliva which causes a burning itch on the area they feed upon.       

They just want food and have little concern over the fact they are leaving their victims with itchy painful bumps. Once they feed from one victim, they will move on to find more prey. If anyone is deficient it is them, not you. It can also help to be happy that it was just a one night stand. 

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2. Remove the cords that bind you to them.

The good news is that you can remove their cords and reclaim your energy. While it is popular to speak of cutting cords, it is important to note that energy cords are like weeds.

They have to be pulled out by the root or can grow back. It is important to take the steps to remove unwanted and harmful energy cords as well as help heal and soothe your chakras. 

3. Take your energy back.

After you remove the cords, the next step is extremely important that is to take your purified energy back from the one(s) who took it from you. It is important that you purify the energy before taking it back so that there is no essence left from the sex vamp. Take your energy back so that you can recover and start to feel like you again. 

Once you are feeling better, here is the most important step to take. Go back and remember what the vamp’s energy felt like. This will help you to recognize and avoid that energy should you ever encounter it again.

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Rhonda Harris-Choudhry is an author, professional psychic/empath, spiritual counselor, hypnotherapist, Reiki Master and teacher of energy healing and metaphysics. Rhonda’s mission is to empower everyone by teaching them about their power to manifest their dreams.