Women Who Are Happier Than Ever As They Get Older Probably Do These 11 Things Differently
With age comes wisdom... and prioritizing themselves.
shurkin_son | Shutterstock Being happy seems to be just out of reach for many people. Between financial difficulties and daily life struggles, it's easy for women, in particular, to put their happiness dead last. But over time, things begin to change, and whether it's celebrating milestones or prioritizing peace, women who are happier than ever as they get older probably do these things differently.
Of course, women have gone through their fair share of trials and tribulations, but that hasn't stopped them from taking whatever they're upset or frustrated about and turning it into good. A happy woman's main focus isn't on preventing the inevitable — it's on creating an environment that can withstand the storm.
Women who are happier than ever as they get older probably do these 11 things differently
1. They stop trying to please everyone
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Women have been taught that putting others first is essential. In society's eyes, focusing too much on your own needs is selfish, which is why most women become complete people-pleasers. As clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman explained, "People seek to please others for both conscious and unconscious reasons, including conflict avoidance, securing feelings of indispensability, and reducing fears of abandonment."
But women who are happier than ever as they get older stop trying to please everyone. It isn't easy to snap out of this mindset; after all, being raised with a self-serving mindset and suddenly switching doesn't happen overnight. Still, if women want to become the happiest version of themselves, they need to put their needs first.
2. They prioritize peace over drama
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Life isn't always smooth sailing, and women must constantly pull themselves up by the bootstraps and learn how to create an ideal life for themselves. Whether it's cutting off toxic people or steering clear of melodramatic family members, women who are happier than ever as they get older probably do these things differently.
It isn't easy to cut someone off, of course. Most women are unconsciously taught that being selfish is unacceptable, so if their peace means cutting off family members or hurting someone else's feelings, they should keep it to themselves. But this gets them nowhere, as their internalized feelings can lead to mental health problems.
Happier women always prioritize their peace. While it might be difficult, putting their foot down prevents them from a world of hurt and drama in the long run.
3. They invest in experiences
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Perhaps it's shopping or having a girls' night out every once in a while. Whatever you call it, there's something thrilling about investing in experiences for themselves. And those experiences can be the difference between thriving and feeling stagnant. Boredom can take over when there's no variety. But women who take part in experiences keep a constant flow of excitement in their lives.
This is important, as organizational psychologist Jeremy Nicholson explained, "Getting excited can help make anxiety-provoking situations feel less threatening and intimidating. In turn, the positive focus that comes from excitement can improve confidence, performance, and even persuasiveness."
4. They redefine what it means to be successful
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When most people think of living a successful life, they probably have getting married, starting a family, and retiring at around 65 in their plan. But women who are happier as they get older redefine what it means to be successful. Not all women want to settle down and have kids; in fact, as one study from Pew Research Center found, 64% of women younger than 50 said they don't want children.
The younger generations have abandoned the nuclear family entirely. Now, women are focused on climbing up the corporate ladder and paving their own way. Even if it means staying single, in their eyes, the main goal is simple: become college-educated, make money, and see the world. And if they happen to fall in love? Well, that's always a plus.
5. They set strong boundaries
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Everyone talks about the need to set strong boundaries, but in the real world, setting boundaries isn't as simple. With toxic family members and complicated friendships, sitting down and setting boundaries can cause arguments and seemingly make things worse. While many people don't want to go down that road, happy women set boundaries no matter what.
Now, they aren't coming out and demanding people change. After all, boundaries are for you, not the other person. However, they do tell people where their comfort levels are and, if needed, they remove themselves when their boundaries aren't respected.
As licensed psychologist Jordan Fiorillo Scotti explained, "Setting and holding boundaries is the best way to create a life we don't need to escape from." So, while women don't have to start strong, even putting up one boundary is a good start.
6. They keep learning
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While it might seem like people are learning something new every day, others fall off the map entirely. But there are women who are serious about continuing their education, buying books, or immersing themselves in certain experiences to keep their minds sharp.
Whether it's going to an art museum or reading a book about a historical event, these women don't want to stop absorbing knowledge. Maybe it's because they want to keep up with what's happening around the world, or simply know more; either way, happier women are always learning and trying something new.
7. They prioritize their physical health
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Society has always told women that they need to look a certain way. And while it's tempting to get plastic surgery or not eat enough nutrients on purpose, women who are happier than ever as they get older put their physical health first.
According to the National Organization for Women, by 13 years old, 53% of American girls are "unhappy with their bodies." It's a sickness in society as old as time, yet people buy into it every single time, causing irreparable damage to ourselves. Luckily, happy women have learned how to break this cycle and, instead of focusing on calories, take care of their bodies by showing themselves compassion.
8. They celebrate their milestones
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Whether it's a promotion at work or paying off debt, most people don't bother celebrating their milestones. Brushing it off, they might pat themselves on the back before moving on with their lives. However, if there's one thing happier women always do, it's celebrate every single accomplishment, no matter how big or small it is.
While it might all seem senseless, hyping oneself up is the greatest way to show appreciation. Women should celebrate each milestone and reward themselves for all their hard work.
9. They choose quality over quantity
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It's not like women are trying to be difficult, but there's no point in having multiple friends when all of them are unsupportive and fake. As tough as it may be in the beginning, these women keep their circle small on purpose, putting quality over quantity.
According to author and clinical psychologist Robert Puff, "Having solid friendships is important for two main reasons. First, they make life more enjoyable. We get to share the beautiful aspects of life with people who we love, which can enrich our everyday experiences. Second, our friends help us through the difficult times. Having friends to support us through hard times can make unimaginably difficult situations seem more tolerable."
10. They stop comparing themselves to others
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If there's one thing that hurts the most, it's comparing yourself to others. From body issues to confidence problems, self-comparison is the thief of joy. But women who are happier than ever as they get older no longer compare themselves to other people. Instead, they make it a point to live authentically.
As happy women learn to let go of other people's expectations, they slowly begin to stop the toxic behavior that holds them back. Whether it's self-criticism or an unhealthy obsession with their weight, they ignore society's expectations and embrace themselves for who they are.
11. They cultivate gratitude daily
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Gratitude might sound like a simple thing to do, but once people accomplish everything they want, it becomes harder to see the bright side of life. But for happy women, no matter how difficult life can be, they find a way to remain gracious.
Even if it's a cup of coffee in the morning, they give thanks. And this is important, as behavioral researcher Ross E O'Hara explained, "Being grateful is linked to higher levels of life satisfaction, optimism, vitality, helpfulness, empathy, forgiveness, and positive affect." So, while it might seem ridiculous to give thanks for something so small, these actions have an incredible impact.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
