Genuinely Happy People Usually Avoid Anyone Who Does These 11 Things
Genuinely happy people know how to protect their energy.
Oleg Fotografo / Shutterstock People who lead genuinely joyful and fulfilling lives don’t center their routines around money, fame, or prestige, but rather healthy social connections and meaningful relationships. They are intentional with how they spend their time, effort, and energy, especially when it comes to building relationships with others.
However, happy people don’t only protect their mood and energy by investing in certain people. They also safeguard themselves through their decisions regarding what to avoid. From entitled behavior to emotional manipulation and even more subtle behaviors like interrupting during conversations, genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who does things that might alter their good-feeling vibe. They protect their energy and mood by avoiding people who drain them, instead pouring that intention into things, habits, and people who add to their overall sense of well-being and security.
Genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who does these 11 things
1. Blaming everyone else for their problems
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While avoiding accountability and taking responsibility for mistakes can provide instant comfort to a person struggling with their own self-esteem and identity, it can erode relationship wellbeing and isolate them from achieving a deeper connection. That’s why genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who blames other people for their problems. They not only dislike being painted as a scapegoat, but they are tired of indulging other people’s draining victim mentalities.
According to a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, learning the skill of taking accountability and coping with internal discomfort to do so can be stressful and time-consuming. Still, in the end, it allows people to cultivate healthier relationships and mental health in the long run.
2. Constantly complaining without action
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Being around someone who constantly complains without any action or change can be emotionally draining, especially considering emotions, both negative and positive, can be contagious in social interactions and relationships. One of the keys to cultivating and maintaining a positive attitude and mood, according to a 2004 study, is avoiding a constantly pessimistic attitude and embracing a more wholesome, grounded, and empathetic one.
When you’re less concerned with focusing on the negativity in your life and more intentional about gratitude and excitement for what you do have, you’ll be happier. Even if that means planning exciting things for the future and giving yourself things to look forward to, like a study published in the Applied Research in Quality of Life journal argues, happy people do well. You’ll be less emotionally affected by the negativity and struggles of your daily life.
3. Acting entitled
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According to a study published in the Psychological Bulletin, people who are entitled tend to throw themselves in a cycle of psychological distress, low energy, and isolation. Whether it manifests as rudeness to service workers, a lack of gratitude in their relationships, or expecting other people to attend to their every need, entitled people sabotage their ability to achieve true happiness.
That’s why genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who does these things. They’d prefer to invest energy, effort, and time into building relationships with people who achieve a balance of love, attention, and appreciation, rather than an entitled person who drains their energy and sets unrealistic expectations for their connection.
4. Always being negative
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When someone is constantly in a bad mood, it can seem impossible for the people around them to not also adopt that negative energy. While a negative mood and energy can sometimes be a sign of emotional turmoil or a “cry for help,” it can also be a symptom of narcissism or emotional manipulation that’s more harmful when entertained.
That's why the smartest, yet oftentimes also the most difficult, way to respond to this kind of negativity is to walk away. Set boundaries, protect your energy, and provide support when it’s appropriate. Genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who does these things or at least protects themselves in such a way that they’re not burdening themselves with constant negative energy.
5. Never apologizing
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People who are stuck in a perpetual cycle of unhappiness often blame other people for everything — they not only avoid taking accountability in their relationships and professions, they avoid taking responsibility for anything in their lives. Whether it’s blame-shifting or playing the victim, they never apologize to other people and expect the world to conform to their every need and desire.
In many ways, unhappy people struggle not only with forgiving others but also with forgiving themselves, holding onto mistakes, grudges, and low self-esteem that sabotage their ability to cultivate happiness and stability in their lives. Of course, apologizing often and forgiving others tends to boost mental and physical well-being, which is why genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who does the opposite.
6. Seeking attention over connection
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Many people who are consistently happy also boast a stable sense of self-esteem. They don’t seek attention, think too highly of themselves in comparison to others, or compensate for insecurity with validation-seeking behaviors. However, their unhappy counterparts tend to struggle with all of those behaviors, seeking out attention, acceptance, and validation from others at the expense of true connection and engagement.
Genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who does these things, not just because interactions with them feel endlessly superficial, but because it’s draining to have to play a role in supporting another person’s misguided sense of self and confidence.
7. Being dishonest
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According to a study published in the Current Opinion in Psychology journal, honesty is often a predictor of mental and physical health, specifically in close relationships, both personally and with other people. When you’re honest with yourself and self-aware enough to recognize where you need to improve in your life, achieving a level of happiness through healthy routines and habits is much easier than if you’re compensating for insecurity with dishonesty.
Of course, betrayal, dishonesty, and consistent lying are also incredibly harmful to social relationships and connections, the foundation of a happy person’s lifestyle, which is why genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who does these things.
8. Never asking for help
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Many unhappy people who struggle with insecurity operate under the misguided belief that making mistakes or not knowing something equates to failure, which encourages them to avoid asking for help or advice in times of need. Whether it’s struggling with mental health or feeling unsupported in the workplace, unhappy people never ask for the help they need to thrive.
However, according to a Stanford report, asking for help and collaborating with other people can actually boost internal wellbeing, happiness, and relationship satisfaction, which is why genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who struggles with asking for help.
Asking for help also tends to boost social perceptions, according to a study published in the Management Science journal, encouraging people to view others as more confident and competent when they seek out expertise and support from others. When they don’t ask for help, instead relying on isolation, avoidance, and emotional outbursts to cope with their emotional turmoil, that’s when happy people set a boundary, unwilling to subject themselves to the emotional volatility of someone unable to ask for or accept help.
9. Never saying thank you
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Expressing gratitude to others and even appreciating the things you have in your life generally boosts happiness, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Even if it’s a practice as simple as writing someone a thank you note, being thankful and grateful for your life and the people within it cultivates a happier mindset in everyone who indulges the practice.
However, happy people tend to avoid others who overlook the importance of gratitude, instead taking without giving back and feeling entitled to other people’s space, time, and material possessions. They not only avoid bonding and expressing gratitude to others, but they also throw themselves into a cycle of unhappiness and disappointment by overlooking the beauty they already have in their lives.
10. Staying busy 24/7
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People who are chronically unhappy may use an overloaded schedule or constant social interaction to distract themselves from their inner emotional turmoil and insecurity. Whether it’s avoiding alone time, distracting themselves with long hours, or indulging superficial connections to pass the time and cope with their insecurities, these are some of the behaviors happy people generally avoid in other people, even if they’re entirely subconscious.
Not only does the feeling of being rushed consistently make people feel unhappier, but it also throws off the delicate balance of free time, productivity, alone time, social interaction, and connection that genuinely happy people prioritize in their own lives, according to psychology professor Max Alberhasky.
It’s a form of emotional suppression. Staying busy ensures they don’t have time to confront their emotions or deal with their demands, which has the potential to erode mental health, physical wellbeing, and relationships in impactful ways.
11. Only keeping superficial connections
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Whether it’s small talk, which tends to hinder happiness when engaged consistently, or a generally superficial attitude when it comes to crafting connections, genuinely happy people usually avoid anyone who regularly does these things.
They prefer to lean into the discomfort of truly fulfilling and meaningful conversations and relationships, rather than wasting time on small talk and people who lack depth.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
