11 Phrases Brilliant Women Say Once They Stop Allowing Anyone Else To Dim Their Light
A woman who knows her worth is not willing to compromise it for anyone.
fizkes / Shutterstock Women who decide they will no longer allow anyone to dim their light usually get there through trauma. They have been hurt in the past, devalued, or dismissed, and are now intent on making sure they never have that kind of experience again.
A woman who refuses to let anyone dim her light has learned to speak with confidence, clarity, and unapologetic self-assurance. She has discovered her authentic self and will never doubt who she is again. She knows how to take up space and is unapologetic about making others feel uncomfortable with her mere presence. I am one of those women, so I can attest to the mindset. And once we have reached the epitome of self-worth, there are certain phrases we might use to assert our strength, protect our boundaries, and radiate our inner power.
1. 'I refuse to shrink myself to fit into spaces I've outgrown'
If you have ever been told that you are too much, you know what it feels like to have someone try to minimize you or shrink you so they feel comfortable. You might be said to be too outspoken, too opinionated, too loud, or too flashy. A woman who has stopped allowing anyone else to dim her light goes where she is celebrated, not tolerated.
She understands that she is not for everybody and doesn't show up in spaces that require her to code-switch or be inauthentic. She is true to who she is and knows that what is for her is for her. The places she should be in are those who accept and love her for who she is, not in spite of it.
2. 'I'm not here to be liked. I'm here to be real'
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A woman who absolutely refuses to dim her light is not concerned with making people like her. She won't be everyone's cup of tea, but demands respect wherever she goes, whether you like her or not. She ignores societal expectations that women be kind, always smile, and concede when there is a disagreement.
She can express herself in a genuine manner, doesn't put on performances to impress others, and is completely content with simply being herself, whether others like it or not. When people show disdain for her, she takes mental note that those are just not her people and moves accordingly.
3. 'No is a complete sentence'
As women, we have become accustomed to over-explaining ourselves. We might make excuses when we choose not to do something that would make us feel uncomfortable. We justify our denials and rejections in hopes that people will understand our perspectives and won't take offense. We have been taught that we have to please people, and for many of us, it comes naturally.
But for those of us who have stopped letting others dim our lights, we no longer feel the need to appease them with the whys of saying no. We believe that "No." is a complete sentence that requires no further justification. Of course, we say it with tact and respect, should the situation require it, but we can also say it with underlying vitriol should the necessity arise.
4. 'If it costs me my peace, it's too expensive'
I recently cut off contact with a person who was extremely nice and gave me whatever I asked for. On paper, he was perfect, someone I should ideally want as a partner. But I noticed he had an argumentative nature and that every conversation ended with tension. I no longer felt the inner peace I had spent so long building, so I abruptly ended things.
I believe that we should never settle, and women who have decided to no longer dim their light do not. Any situation that causes stress, anxiety, or an impending feeling of doom is not for you. The cost of not feeling at peace is high and one that you cannot afford to pay. Your peace is a valuable commodity. Protect is at all costs.
5. 'I've earned every inch of my power'
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There are people who you will encounter who would love for you to think that you did not get where you are in life on your own merit. They want to make you feel like an impostor, so they will question your background, experience, and talents. This attempt at diminishing you is unsuccessful when you no longer allow others to dim your light.
You know what you had to do to get here and refuse to let anyone take that away. You were not handed anything. You had to fight, claw, and scratch to succeed in life, and you earned every accolade and every bit of success you achieve in life. You are proud of how far you have come, and no one, no matter how powerful,l can pull you back.
6. 'I light up rooms and I won't apologize for it'
One of the most hurtful experiences I have had in my adult life was at a time when one of my closest cousins was planning a wedding. I assumed I would be part of it, but when I found out I wasn't, her brother told me that she wanted the attention on her, so she opted to include other people in the wedding instead of me. I was confused because I am not an attention-seeker. I simply am who I am, and people seem to gravitate toward me.
In that moment, I realized that sometimes your light is just too bright for other people. They can like you, or even love you, but something about the way you command the room when you enter it irritates their demons. Never mute your bright disposition because others can't take it. Go where your light is seen as an asset, not a liability.
7. 'I'm not intimidating. You're just intimidated'
I can't count how many times I have been told that I am intimidating. Sometimes, I haven't even said a word. I just walked into the room and other people became bothered by my presence. So, I asked people I trusted if I was, in fact, intimidating. They told me that I wasn't to them, but because I am sure of myself, assertive, and not intimidated by others, people could perceive me that way.
What other people think about you is none of your business. You can't control their perception and should never try to adjust your personality to fit their needs. People's intimidation when it comes to you is more about them than it is you. They see something in you that they don't have... a quality that they desperately want but cannot attain. That's their problem, not yours.
8. 'My energy is not for the ungrateful or unready'
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In this single season of my life, I have learned exactly what I want and how to set boundaries and stand on business. We will always come across people who are only able to give the bare minimum and take our energy and presence for granted. They want to be around someone like us, but their actions show that they are ill-equipped to handle it.
Women who no longer allow others to dim their lights know that they don't owe anyone anything. They are no longer required to wait around while someone gets it right. They expect an attitude of gratitude for their efforts and are willing to give the same in return. Once they know that someone is ungrateful or unready for an authentic relationship, they leave without drama or conflict.
9. 'I bend. I don't break'
It's easy to feel like the walls are closing in around you during difficult times. You can see your breaking point fast approaching, and the situation can seem daunting. It is during these times that I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I may bend, but I never break. That affirmation is a testament to the strength and flexibility I need to keep going.
Repeating this mantra to myself reminds me that I have everything I need in my arsenal to overcome whatever obstacles are standing in my way. It tells me that there is a solution to every problem, and if I remain open and adaptable to changing circumstances, I will find a way out.
10. 'This situation no longer serves me, so I’m walking away'
Nothing is more empowering the the recognition that a situation is no longer conducive to your physical, emotional, or mental well-being. You have taken stock of the negative and positive impacts and decided that it is just no longer worth it for you.
Once you've been in a circumstance for so long, you become accustomed to the toxicity and dysfunction, and it can seem normal. Once you open your eyes to the harm a particular situation is doing, you finally realize you have no choice but to walk away and open yourself to new things that speak to your soul.
11. 'Pressure creates diamonds. I thrive under it'
Women who have been through it and come out on the other side know that there are valuable life lessons to learn through trials and tribulations. They keep a positive mindset during negative experiences with the awareness that no matter how bad it gets, they will emerge with more strength, resilience, and confidence that they can overcome anything.
Brilliant women believe that their mentality attracts their experiences. If they believe that the pressure they are under is turning them into a diamond, so shall it be. This statement lets the universe know with unwavering confidence that you believe in yourself and know that whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that delivers informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
