11 Truly Hard Parts Of Being A Highly Intelligent Person That Pretty Much No One Talks About
DukiPh | Shutterstock We glamorize intellectualism, but in reality, it's not all sunshine and knowledge.
Many of the smartest people in the world still face all kinds of unique struggles. They're the truly hard parts of being a highly intelligent person that pretty much no one talks about, whether it's being chronically misunderstood by others or adopting a draining role in a friend group. And after a while, it can start to affect them on a much deeper level.
Here are 11 truly hard parts of being a highly intelligent person that pretty much no one talks about
1. Second-guessing everything
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Many intelligent people find themselves prone to overthinking and second-guessing because they can see so many different sides to issues and concepts. Compared to the average person who typically only brings one-sided perspectives and knowledge to conversations, people with high IQs can see every side, including the less favorable, worst-case scenarios.
So, when they're trying to make a decision, there's a chance it takes them a lot longer because they're sifting through all this information. It's also a huge reason why intelligent people procrastinate more often. They can take note of everything that could possibly go wrong before they even start.
2. Feeling isolated and frustrated with the world
Many intelligent people are regularly reminded by how little the average person knows, not just about concepts and basic educational topics, but also about common sense and their own identity. Their worlds are defined by depth and curiosity, and seeing ignorance at every corner is both annoying and completely draining.
Especially when they need stimulating conversations and meaningful connections to feel secure and connected, being around people who prefer to operate with blissful ignorance is destabilizing and isolating.
3. Struggling to delegate tasks
Considering they're often privy to evidence of ignorance and forced to do things on their own, it's not surprising that most highly intelligent people aren't used to delegating. That's part of the reason why they're often quick to burnout and be taken advantage of in the workplace, because they say "yes" to new projects beyond their bandwidth and rarely ask for help.
Instead, they end up trying to multitask at their own expense and working a lot harder than everyone else, usually to subconsciously prove that they're the only people capable of managing these specific tasks or obligations.
4. Being perceived as arrogant or condescending
According to a study from WIREs Cognitive Science, most highly intelligent people prefer to simplify complex topics and create more accessible conversations by using clear language. They want everyone to understand, so they can have more productive conversations.
Despite often having good intentions, it's this kind of behavior that can feel condescending and patronizing to someone who notices. Especially if they're already insecure about their position or knowledge, noticing someone else "dumbing down" language for their sake can feel like a personal attack, even when it's not.
5. Performing differently depending on the environment
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Many intelligent people find it hard to show up as their most authentic selves in every single environment, whether it's at work or at home. At some point in their lives, they were reminded that not everyone understands their niche interests or that some people feel offended when they don't understand their choice of words.
Even though these insecurities and deficits have more to do with everyone else than they do an intelligent person's identity, they've learned to perform and shift to be most accepted by their environments. Even at work, they find themselves shifting language and presence to be most easily understood or acknowledged.
6. Getting bored around most people
Despite being more prosocial than the average person and interested in stimulating, meaningful conversations, most high-IQ people find interactions boring. They need more stimulation than they're getting from small talk, and often find themselves going inward or zoning out completely.
They yearn for deep relationships and community, but most of the time, intelligent people struggle to find connections and people who actually match their needs and interests.
7. Anxiety and mental illness
People with a high IQ are often more at risk for developing mental illness, including anxiety and depression, according to a study from Intelligence.
They have a lot on their minds all the time, and need outlets and habits that support them in recharging. If they're caught overworking or without the kind of structure they need to thrive, their emotional turmoil worsens.
8. Feeling like they have to hide their intelligence
Much like in platonic friendships and professional connections at work, many intelligent people find themselves struggling to connect romantically when they're not performing or shifting their intelligence. If it makes someone feel attacked or threatened, they may grow socialized into hiding it altogether.
Especially for straight women, who often find it difficult to connect with men who are intimidated by their intellect, finding a relationship sometimes comes with pressure to dull their knowledge and identity. While some prefer to stay single and invest in themselves until the right person comes around, loneliness can often pressure anyone to do things that are out of character.
9. Listening to simple explanations
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Even though it can come with a lot of blame and shame, many highly intelligent people find it incredibly difficult to listen to simple-minded people explain their logic and decisions. When they're clearly thinking long and hard about something, only to spew one-liners that don't really make sense, it's uncomfortable.
Some have the poker face to ignore it and create a productive conversation from nothing, but most are easily frustrated and annoyed by this kind of plain ignorance.
10. Not getting enough sleep
Whether it's their tendency to indulge in night owl behaviors for peace and quiet or a struggle with turning their deep-thinking minds off before bed, intelligent people are often more vulnerable to experiencing sleep deprivation. Of course, this doesn't help the overthinking spirals and anxiety they face during waking hours, but for many, it feels impossible to break the cycle.
Especially when staying up late is their only way of recharging and thinking through things they had to put on the back burner during the day, going to bed early can feel like a dismissal of their own needs and interests.
11. Intellectualizing emotions
Even though they're often still emotionally intelligent and self-aware about the kinds of emotions they're feeling, smart people are, unsurprisingly, often prone to intellectualizing those feelings. They're used to diving deep into everything, and searching for the reason or spark behind fleeting emotions is just another example of understanding in their daily lives.
However, as psychologist Nick Wignall explains, intellectualizing emotions often becomes a subconscious means of avoiding them altogether. You might understand where they come from and know what triggers them, but you're not really feeling them or acknowledging them in a true, mindful way.
Over time, this behavior simply suppresses the kinds of feelings and emotions that smart people need to feel in their bodies, rather than just intellectualize in their minds.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
