11 Things You'll Hear From Someone Who's Trying To Avoid A Breakdown
These things might be a subtle cry for support, even if they refuse to bluntly admit it.
fast-stock | Shutterstock Life can feel quite overwhelming and draining at times. Even if everything inside feels like it's falling apart, some of us will still try our best to hold it together. Whether this is because we don't want to be a burden to those around us, or because we fear being seen as weak, the pressure to maintain even just a semblance of control can often lead us to pushing our emotions to the side. And after a while of doing that, it will eventually bubble up and become too much to handle.
The signs of someone trying to avoid a breakdown may be subtle at first. Through their words and actions, they may seem fine, but beneath the surface, they're struggling to hold it together. There are things you'll hear from someone who's trying to avoid a breakdown that may not scream distress, but the undertones are a signal that an individual is navigating their emotions and responsibilities to the best of their abilities without fully acknowledging what they may be going through.
Here are 11 things you'll hear from someone who's trying to avoid a breakdown
1. 'I can handle this'
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When someone is struggling to balance everything on their plate, they may often try to reassure those around them that they're able to handle whatever is being thrown their way. Behind these words is a person using their defense mechanism.
They don't want to let those around them know that they may be struggling because in their eyes, being vulnerable isn't something to be proud of. Licensed clinical psychologist Jennifer Caspari explained that being vulnerable is part of life and can be difficult because it requires us to let our guards down and be an authentic version of ourselves.
"This is difficult, and a key part of enhancing self-acceptance and genuine confidence, building relationships, and strengthening quality of life is allowing ourselves to be seen by ourselves and others," she revealed.
2. 'I'm not stressed, I'm just tired'
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One of the things you'll hear from someone who's trying to avoid a breakdown is how they aren't stressed, they're just tired. But this is a phrase used to try and downplay their emotional or mental state.
They'll try to mask their underlying physical exhaustion instead because they may not want to admit that the stress they're feeling is taking a toll on their mental and physical well-being. Experts from the American Psychological Association emphasize that stress can leave an increased chance for a variety of physical and mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, digestive issues, headaches, and even heart disease.
Rest is incredibly important for taking care of your health, but it also needs to be accompanied by addressing the stressors that are causing you to feel overwhelmed in the first place. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you have a lot going on and allowing those around you to be there in your time of need.
3. 'I'm doing my best, I don't want to disappoint anyone'
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When someone says this as a way to dissuade others from seeing that they're trying to avoid a breakdown, they're actively buckling under the pressure of meeting others' expectations for them. This phrase often comes from individuals who place a high value on being responsible, loyal, and dependable, even if it means putting their own well-being on the line to appease others.
This person may equate their worth with how much they can do for others without stopping to actually care for themselves. Even if they're exhausted, mentally drained, or struggling, they'll keep going, not because they have to but because they feel they must.
"Expectations can also increase stress levels. When we set high expectations for ourselves or others, we create a pressure-filled environment," explained educator and psychologist Charles Chaffin.
4. 'I can't let them see me struggle'
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This is a phrase used by someone who's not only afraid of being vulnerable, but that fear is rooted in being judged, rejected, or seen as weak. For many people, this is tied to trying to maintain this perfect image of someone that is without fault and doesn't ever need support from anyone because they've got a handle on things. They might believe that if anyone sees them falter, it'll ruin that image and damage their credibility as being someone who's strong.
"Vulnerability and openness go hand in hand. Part of life worth living is sharing ourselves and experiencing the joy, tears, laughter, insights, relief, and healing that grow out of those exchanges," explained licensed clinical psychologist Yesel Yoon, PhD. "When we practice vulnerability and build authentic connections, we discover that we are not alone in our human struggles and that it is acceptable to be who we are."
5. 'I don't have time to deal with it right now'
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This phrase is something that often signals a person trying to avoid their emotions and disguise it with practicality. It may sound reasonable, but underneath it reflects a deep discomfort with facing difficult emotions or stressors.
People who say this might genuinely feel overwhelmed by the demands in their life, but are simply postponing having to process their emotions because it feels too heavy to do so in the moment. The problem with pushing aside your emotions is that they don't actually disappear. It builds. And the longer they're avoided, the more difficult they will be to manage.
Therapist Jason N. Linder explained, "Avoiding, numbing, and escaping generally lead to negative consequences. People who do this may seem to be in control on the outside, but on the inside, this emotional suppression tends to take a toll on the mind and body (i.e., affected sleep and decreased immune function), as well as the person's work, education, and relationships."
6. 'I just need a minute, I'll be good to go again'
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Asking for a quick breather before pushing full speed ahead is another of the things you'll hear from someone who's trying to avoid a breakdown. Beneath this request there's usually a sign that a lot more is going on.
It can be a sign that someone is extremely close to an emotional or mental overload, but they're simply trying to downplay it. Instead of admitting that they actually need help, they believe that a small pause will make everything better instead of getting the rest they actually need.
This person may be trying to convince themselves and everyone around them that they can bounce back instantly, even if they're running on empty. While a short pause may feel good in the moment, it's actually real rest that they need.
"Sometimes, you can really feel what you need to do by feeling what's happening for you when you don't. 'Don't,' that is: ease up, unwind, recharge, put your feet up, take a load off, just chill. Because when you don't rest, you wear out, wear down, and start running on empty. Then you're not much good for yourself or anyone else," explained psychologist Rick Hanson, PhD.
"But when you get some rest and get more rested, you have more energy, mental clarity, resilience for the hard things, patience, and wholehearted caring for others."
7. 'I'm okay, just need to keep my head down'
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On the surface, this may sound as if someone is trying to stay focused and determined to push through their challenges without distractions. But more often than not, it's a coping mechanism rooted in the belief that the best way to survive is by pushing through the stress and staying low to avoid drawing attention to oneself.
It implies that this person would rather suffer in silence. They may feel that the best way to combat their feeling of being overwhelmed is to stay busy and avoid confronting their emotions because then everything will ease up. But that's usually never the case and, in fact, things could just end up getting worse.
8. 'I'll be better once I get some sleep'
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It might seem like a reasonable statement for someone to acknowledge that all they need is a little bit of rest, but in many cases, someone who's saying this is usually just trying to brush off their deeper issues. They think that rather than confronting their stress, they place hope on rest being a temporary fix.
Because of the effects stress can have on a person's physical and mental health, simply ignoring those stressors or feelings of anxiety is dangerous. According to psychiatrist Dr. Meelie Bordoloi, poor mental health takes a toll on your body, leading to low activity in the prefrontal cortex, digestive issues, low energy levels, and physical symptoms that mimic symptoms of physical disorders like heart attacks or seizures.
While rest is definitely important, what these people usually need is more than what sleep can do. When underlying issues go unresolved, sleep doesn't usually provide the relief that a person is hoping for. Once they wake up, everything is usually still the same. It's about true self-care and actually finding a solution that allows you to heal and move on.
9. 'I just need to stay focused, everything else can wait'
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When someone says this, they are usually trying to push away the discomfort or obligation of actually getting to the root of what's causing their breakdown. They would rather put their energy into staying focused, but underneath all of that emotional suppression is someone who is uncertain about how to confront their lifestyle, and that it's not working for them.
This is common amongst high achievers and people in survival mode. They think that pushing through the hard times and obstacles is what will help them from crumbling under all of that weight. Over time, that laser focus will lead to them being completely burnt out. There's just no way to outrun the pain — eventually it will catch up with you.
10. 'I can't stop now, I'll be fine'
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One of the things you'll hear from someone who's trying to avoid a breakdown is how they're completely fine and can't stop what they're doing now. They're trying to push through all of the adversity in their way, but are living with a fear of what might happen if they do eventually stop. This person might sense that if they were to pause, all of that emotional weight they've been suppressing will become too much for them to handle and they'll buckle underneath it.
They may feel responsible for others, and have these high expectations placed on themselves without realizing that it's unachievable. While pushing forward may offer short-term relief, the real strength is knowing when to pause, reassess, and ask for help before you reach that inevitable moment of collapse.
11. 'I've got this under control, don't worry about me'
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Usually when someone is saying this, they don't really have anything under control. Instead, they are trying to hide just how much they're straining because they want to keep up appearances and not have others worrying about them. It's a way to avoid vulnerability and protect the image of someone that always has it together.
They want to be seen as the strong one and the person that others can lean on. By admitting that they might be struggling, they think they will let others down — or worse, expose a side of themselves that they've worked hard to keep locked away.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
