11 Things We All Quietly Pretend We Like Now, Even Though They're Pretty Terrible
Many of us just want to feel like we belong.
Dodokat / Shutterstock Especially in our competitive culture fueled by what feels like outdated expectations and social norms, it’s not entirely uncommon for people to adopt habits, behaviors, and routines that they don’t actually like for the sake of fitting in. It’s human nature to want to feel a sense of belonging or community, even if we often seek it in some unhealthy ways.
Many of the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible, are rooted in this intrinsic desire to be seen, valued, and heard. Of course, there are a few that many people don’t have an explanation for. They’re simply feeding into trends and doing things because everyone else is.
Here are the 11 things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible
1. Networking events
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock.com
Networking events are one of the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible. In fact, the majority of workers find these events to be emotionally draining and off-putting, yet continue to return to them year after year for the sake of misguided job stability or company loyalty.
People are yearning for deeper connections with strangers, but at networking events, they’re consistently met with the same superficial conversations, corporate lingo, and small talk.
2. Expensive coffee
Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock
Coffee prices are on the rise, growing closer to $10 for a simple latte at every turn and in most cities. Even though the rise in costs is completely out of our control, it can feel overwhelming to drop $50 a week on coffee for the sake of community, connection, conversation, and productivity.
Whether you realize it or not, places like coffee shops are becoming the new third places, community spaces that typically aren’t restricted by income, money, or status, so many of us are pretending to like fancy coffee and overspending on an espresso simply for the sake of connection.
3. Having a full calendar
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
Our culture tends to reward busyness, praising people who overwork themselves and crafting a lack of leisure time as a status symbol, when in reality, we all collectively benefit from rest, grace, and a balanced personal and professional life.
Being overworked and navigating a full calendar 24/7 is detrimental to our mental and physical health, yet it’s become one of the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible. In our competitive workplaces and society, it feels impossible to take a break, but without rest, we’re all being pushed closer to burnout.
4. Company retreats
insta_photos | Shutterstock.com
Unless you’re getting extra compensation, time off from work, or some kind of exclusive benefit, nobody actually wants to go out for company drinks or to a retreat when they could be spending that time at home or with their families.
If you’re going to spend the money on team-building, make it an event where everyone is already clocked in and at the office, not taking away from the already limited time they have after work and on weekends. It’s one of the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible.
5. Wellness trends that feel like work
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
While certain wellness trends, like taking a walk in the morning, finding a workout class you like, or even spending more time alone, can be incredibly beneficial for your mental and physical well-being, others, that feel like more work than they’re worth, are the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible.
From trying to get down overpriced matcha lattes, to oil-pulling at 6 AM, and even trying to make Pilates a workout you actually enjoy, many of the wellness trends we’re being pushed into are consumerist traps, not genuinely beneficial habits.
6. Daily gratitude journals
Ground Picture | Shutterstock.com
Any kind of daily exercise, like gratitude journaling, can feel repetitive, like you’re going through the motions without any real kind of intention or change. Of course, expressing gratitude is important and beneficial for your well-being, according to a study from Harvard Health, but if you’re not putting any real meaning behind it or punishing yourself for not being consistent, it’s not doing you any favors.
It’s one of the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible. Especially considering not many people have the free time to commit to something like journaling regularly, it’s much easier to simply give verbal thanks for expressing gratitude by spending quality time with our loved ones.
7. Curating success on social media
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock.com
From body image struggles to social isolation, overusing social media and technology can have negative impacts on our well-being, both internally and externally. Curating success on social media and trying to “fit in” by posting edited and intentionally interesting posts is one of the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though they’re pretty terrible.
We’re all yearning for belonging and community, which is part of the reason so many of us are obsessed with our phones and social media. We want to feel like we belong. However, the truth is that social media actually sabotages those important feelings if we’re not careful with setting boundaries.
8. Texting 24/7
Voronaman | Shutterstock.com
It’s become a trend for friends and partners to feel pressured into texting each other 24/7, even when they're busy and trying to be present in their lives. It’s one of the things we all quietly pretend we like now, even though it’s occasionally draining and emotionally taxing to keep up with.
This is part of the reason why our phones can be detrimental to the health of our relationships. They add another layer of expectation, pressure, and misunderstanding to the dynamic that’s not always easy to overcome.
9. Online dating
Mahir KART | Shutterstock.com
Over 30% of Americans are currently using dating apps, despite admitting that they’re not always encouraging a positive experience or leading them closer to the kind of healthy relationship they’re craving. In fact, in some cases, using dating apps can actually be exhausting, causing people to become burnt out connecting with people and trying to craft new connections.
However, it’s still one of the things we all quietly pretend to enjoy, even though they’re pretty terrible, at least if you’re single. Despite collective discourse about their toxicity and personal struggles, many of us still find ourselves back on Hinge or Tinder in no time.
10. Situationships
ViDI Studio | Shutterstock.com
Despite getting a bad narrative online and on social media, situationships or noncommittal relationships and intimate connections without labels aren’t inherently bad. However, it takes communication and maturity to do them in a healthy manner. It’s these noncommittal relationships without clear boundaries that tend to be one of the things we all quietly pretend we don't like now, even though they’re pretty terrible.
Like many of the other things we’re all collectively tolerating, it comes back to a desire to feel wanted, to have community, and to feign a sense of belonging. Even if it’s a toxic situationship, there’s no denying it feels good to get attention and affection, especially when you’re struggling or dealing with chronic stress.
11. Being cool
Josep Suria | Shutterstock.com
Everyone feels pressure to be cool and chill, whether it’s in their personal relationship or on social media, but let’s be honest, how many of us actually feel validated and important in that persona? We’re all yearning for a sense of belonging, but if we’re overlooking authenticity for the sake of fitting in, who benefits from that?
If you’re being celebrated for being someone that’s not yourself, you’re only inflicting wounds on your self-esteem and self-worth.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
